Undersocialized 15 mo. old - any suggestions?

[taylorw1210]

This little boy was cared for by a nanny from birth - 1 year. He was placed in my care in August. He crawls only, and will occasionally pull himself to stand - but does not "cruise" along furniture. He does not interact well with myself or the other daycare kids. He will either 1. play quietly by himself away from all the others, 2. sit in the middle of the others and cry, 3. angrily crawl after the others who try to include him in play and try to scratch them.

He is a fourth child, and his 3 older siblings are in K, 1st, and 2nd. Mom admits that he is not around other children his age often, and has been held "all his little life."

To provide an example, I'm currently observing a 2 yr old little girl sitting next to him trying to include him in play with blocks and he's refusing to look at her and is as still as a statue in between intermittent bouts of crying. I make attempts to show him how to play and I do not get much of a response.

Is this just severe under-socialization - or should I be concerned and bringing up potential developmental delays with mom?

[Second Home]

If he has older siblings then I would thing he must have seen them play before and know how to interact with others even if they are older . We all see how the younger kids like to imitate the older ones .

[Shell]

Why do people do this to their children? Being held all day is totally unnecessary at his age! As a side note, I was thinking about this for Judith on the walking dead- how is she ever going to learn to walk?! Anyway, do you feel the nanny held him all the time too while she took him places, maybe ran errands? I agree by seeing older kids, he should have some idea how to play, but he's either babies by everyone, or there are delays that others didn't address. I would say you are going to need to wait and observe for a longer time period to see if there's any progress.

[taylorw1210]

Why do people do this to their children? Being held all day is totally unnecessary at his age! As a side note, I was thinking about this for Judith on the walking dead- how is she ever going to learn to walk?! Anyway, do you feel the nanny held him all the time too while she took him places, maybe ran errands? I agree by seeing older kids, he should have some idea how to play, but he's either babies by everyone, or there are delays that others didn't address. I would say you are going to need to wait and observe for a longer time period to see if there's any progress.

I was thinking the same as bolded. I just keep wavering from undersocialized to delayed...

In the moms own words, all he's ever known is his nanny and her. And in her own words, they both held him "all his little life". When he started nap times were a huge issue, but I've gotten him going to sleep entirely on his own, now. But the social issues are not progressing at all. When other kids are not around he plays contently, will crawl around and explore, etc. But when there are other kids around he just sits there with tears streaming down his face.

I have this 15 mo. old, a 17 mo. old and an 18 mo. old. I just grabbed their favorite book and sat down and the two older ones ran to me, sat down, and started participating. The little boy just sat at the other end of the room, hunched over, staring. I grabbed him and said, "It's story time, buddy!" and sat him in between the other two little ones and he sobbed for about 5 minutes until he got distracted with the book we were reading.

Now both the older little ones are playing with the house in our playroom, together - grabbing at things, moving things, jabbering with each other - and he's sitting about 3 feet away, crying.

The other littles will bring me various toys, show me things they are playing with, involve me in their activities, etc. The little guy doesn't interact with me at all - even when I initiate. He is here 4 days a week so I would think that between August and now we would have made at least some improvement, but it's not going that way so far.

[Shell]

You know, I have a dcb that was just diagnosed with autism maybe a few months ago. He was at a center from infancy until this summer (3.5 yrs old)r. He is high functioning, but I kindly asked dcm, "didn't anyone notice this sooner? Like, when they were doing progress reports, weren't any red flags raised?" She said they said his behavior was normal. It's just interesting to me, because there is so much info out there on autism, delays, etc yet no one in his life noticed- maybe they were afraid to? Or just didn't understand? I guess it's possible something is going on with your dc kid and no one was trained enough to notice. I would give it another month, maybe he will progress, maybe not, and do his progress report. See where he is struggling, and mention it to dcm as gently as possible.

[cheerfuldom]

At this point, I would keep observing but his behavior could be more of a special need than just being spoiled. With three other kids, he should be much farther along socially so your description appears a bit odd to me. But it is possible that the parents just doted on him and allowed behavior like scratching and with time, he will start making progress.

[taylorw1210]

At this point, I would keep observing but his behavior could be more of a special need than just being spoiled. With three other kids, he should be much farther along socially so your description appears a bit odd to me. But it is possible that the parents just doted on him and allowed behavior like scratching and with time, he will start making progress.

I agree that with three older siblings he should be further along socially, which is what pulls me back to wondering if there is a special need that needs to be addressed. I was really hoping to see more progress in 2 months.