What Would You Do With This Kid?

[Francine]

18 months old, follows me around all day whining and crying. Only child, with new baby being born on the 28th. Has been coming here since June or July, should be use to it by now in my opinion. The only time he will play with the other kids is if I am sitting right there, otherwise he follows me around whining and crying. It's really beginning to effect the amount of patients I have with the other kids, it drives me crazy. The thing is, if I happen to have a light day where it's just him and me for a while he is awesome. He can be a wonderful little boy, I hate to lose him and his baby sister over this but when if starts to effect the way I am with the other kids something needs to change. HELP!

[jen]

I've had that happen, but never for that length of time...my guess is that he is finding the enviornment a little overwhelming. I have one who is going to be 2 in March, only child, had been at gmas before here, he had a tough time and responded with biting.

I think I would try to engage him and one other child in play, an older child. I would ask the older one to be his buddy. Once he was good with the one child, with me actively engaged, I would slowly remove myself, so that he could play with JUST that one child, perhaps off in a corner.

Once that was working, I would add another child in hopes of de-sensetizing him. If that didn't work, I would try giving him a gated off corner with his own toys and perhaps his blanket so that he could feel safe, observe and get comfortable with whats going on.

If none of those options work, I would move him back to two naps so that he got a break from the action. Good luck!

[Francine]

Thanks for the suggestions Jen, he is the oldest child that I have so pairing him with an older isn't going to work and he does still take two naps a day here. At home he doesn't but I need a break so he has to when he is here. ANy other suggestions?

[jen]

Hmmmm...can I ask how many kids you have and how old they are?

[Francine]

another that is 18 months and two infants, all part time

[laundrymom]

Id nap him or pnp him when you cant be just there,.. tell him,.. shhh no crying,.. go play. if he whined, pop him in pnp and do something cool until he stopped whining, then pop him out,... until he whines then pop him in,... it will be a workout but may work....

another that is 18 months and two infants, all part time

[jen]

Id nap him or pnp him when you cant be just there,.. tell him,.. shhh no crying,.. go play. if he whined, pop him in pnp and do something cool until he stopped whining, then pop him out,... until he whines then pop him in,... it will be a workout but may work....

That is what I would do too. I was originally thinking like my house, with 8 kids, most of them 2 or 3 years old!

[Francine]

I don't put him in a pnp but I do make him sit in a chair until he is done, I have done this from the start but it doesn't seem to help. Right now, he is the only one up so he is fine. I think he is going to have a rude awakeing after Christmas when Mom has the new baby. I think he is just use to being the only one, getting Mom and Dad 100% attention. When he is here he has to share me, either with other kids or others tasks that I have to complete. I would think that he would be getting over it by now but he only comes 2 days per week so it's hard.

[grandmom]

He's demanding your attention and is getting rewarded when he whines by getting your attention.

Make sure his needs are being met, and then don't be available. Get up and move to the other side of the room, engage with other children. Reward the behavior you want in him. But: DON'T do this unilt you can be consistent. If you let up because his whine gets to you, you will be back to square one, and it will be harder next time. Don't try to distract him in the middle of it. Just don't be available. The moment he stops, reward him. Then do it again.

I suggest you wait till Monday. Then you have 5 days in a row. It will be the hardest on Wednesday or Thursday, and then again next week. He will get the message.

Good luck.

[momma2girls]

18 months old, follows me around all day whining and crying. Only child, with new baby being born on the 28th. Has been coming here since June or July, should be use to it by now in my opinion. The only time he will play with the other kids is if I am sitting right there, otherwise he follows me around whining and crying. It's really beginning to effect the amount of patients I have with the other kids, it drives me crazy. The thing is, if I happen to have a light day where it's just him and me for a while he is awesome. He can be a wonderful little boy, I hate to lose him and his baby sister over this but when if starts to effect the way I am with the other kids something needs to change. HELP!

There are many children even at this age, that just need more sleep. I would try and lay him down with your am nappers, and see if this helps. My own daughter still needed an am nap til about 20 months. She also slept fine in the afternoon also.

[momma2girls]

I don't put him in a pnp but I do make him sit in a chair until he is done, I have done this from the start but it doesn't seem to help. Right now, he is the only one up so he is fine. I think he is going to have a rude awakeing after Christmas when Mom has the new baby. I think he is just use to being the only one, getting Mom and Dad 100% attention. When he is here he has to share me, either with other kids or others tasks that I have to complete. I would think that he would be getting over it by now but he only comes 2 days per week so it's hard.

If nothing else seems to help, I would resort to the pnp. He might be very tired, and take a little snooze.

[Francine]

These are all great suggestions but he already does take two naps per day and he is only here on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so I don't have 5 full days to work with him. Saying that though there was a week a while back that I did have him all five days and it was the same deal, I was just more insane because it was 5 days of the whining and crying instead of just two.

Yesterday afternoon he was the first one up, he was wonderful until one of the other kids woke up. One thing that I have noticed that helps is if all baby gates are down, he knows then that he can follow me any where that I go, he doesn't always but it seems to relax him and he will actually go off and play for a bit. Realistically the only time I can leave the gates down is when he is the only one here because he doesn't get into things that the other kids do. I noticed yesterday that even if I was in the same room the only time he relaxed and stopped the nonsense was when I was SITTING DOWN. He can be such a sweetheart so I feel bad but I am already dreading today.

[SilverSabre25]

did this just start recently, like within the past couple of months? If so, I'd say it's separation anxiety (normal for the age) that's being intensified by his sketchy grasp of "something" changing at home with his mama.

[Francine]

did this just start recently, like within the past couple of months? If so, I'd say it's separation anxiety (normal for the age) that's being intensified by his sketchy grasp of "something" changing at home with his mama.

It's been the same ever since he started in June.

[nannyde]

I don't do two days a week. It's usually a cry fest. The only time I would consider it is if it is a kid I have had from birth and they are four or so. If they had a long history with me then they could manage two days. Kids that are younger or don't have the history just can't adjust to my world.