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Wow the more this goes on, the madder I get. Please be writing down all your thoughts and such as notes for the meeting, so you don't forget them when the heat is on. I hope you get this worked out. I have an idea that might help your son. In Kansas, I had a brother and sister dcks. The sister was five years older, and would tell her brother he was being "bad". Usually she said that when he had misbehaved, but I taught her not to say that, because there is no such thing as a bad child, just bad behavior. So perhaps you can tell your DS that? Your DS is not bad, he may not be perfect, but he is not bad.
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I am SO sorry you are dealing with this:hug: I'm just so upset for you and I hope the meeting goes well Tuesday or that you are able to move him somewhere else so he doesn't have to be subjected to this poor treatment anymore! Keep us posted and you will be in my thoughts!Comment
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Oh Diva, I applaud your restraint. She's lucky to still be walking upright. :
: Your ds is not bad, stupid, whatever. Children make bad choices sometimes, but that does not mean they are bad people.
I think, many times, parents are reluctant to rock the boat at school because they feel the teachers and administration have superior knowledge concerning the ways of the classroom. But NO ONE is more knowledgeable about your kid than you are. You are his greatest advocate, his greatest cheering section. And you are absolutely doing right by him. Stand firm with that principal. If you don't leave that meeting with the answers you need, get your boy out of there. I would go ahead and speak with the admissions offices at these other schools so you can pull him quickly if necessary.Comment
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Pulling and putting him in a new school might be necessary if the school won't work with you. Unfortunately, private school can have bad teachers also. I had a bully for a teacher in Catholic school in 5th grade. I completely understand how devastating that can be for a child.
Just remain on guard no matter what kind of school you put him in.
Hugs to you and your son.Homeschooling Mama to:
lovethis
dd12
ds 10
dd 8Comment
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I am upset for you as well. You are a good advocate for him and her answers were ridiculous.Comment
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I'm sorry to hear diva. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers through this all. I hope the meeting goes well with the principle.Comment
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The year my oldest had the roughest year it was also with a teacher returning from MAT leave (with triplets!) teacher held the health insurance for the family so had to come back when she did.It didn't go well.
She was very resistant to speaking to me about the issues, and said that if it was warranted, she would have contacted me. Ds's behavior changed when we got to the room. He got very quiet and sullen. The dollars are on a bulletin board, and each child's name/folder was OVERFLOWING. Ds has 1. When we walked by the dollars and the reward bin (they can use dollars to buy books, small toys, free play time in the classroom, no homework tickets, etc) ds said "I can't pick from the reward bin because I'm bad. Bad kids don't get to pick."
I started crying.
I left the room (and left ds with dh) and went to go speak to the principal. He said the he was aware my ds was struggling- yet the teacher just said that it wasn't enough to warrant contacting ME to discuss?- I didn't send DS Friday. The principal called me and I told him my concerns, we have a meeting Tues.
I bumped into his K teacher on the way out and she asked how he liked first grade and I was honest. She told me this teacher just had a baby, came back from maternity and didn't want to return to work at all. She also has a history of having issues with certain kids other teachers didn't have issues with.
Dh and I have discussed private school. There is a catholic and a Montessori school close enough to transport ds to.
Anyway, I'm reading along and hoping things work out!!Comment
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The year my oldest had the roughest year it was also with a teacher returning from MAT leave (with triplets!) teacher held the health insurance for the family so had to come back when she did.It didn't go well. She was very resistant to speaking to me about the issues, and said that if it was warranted, she would have contacted me. Ds's behavior changed when we got to the room. He got very quiet and sullen. The dollars are on a bulletin board, and each child's name/folder was OVERFLOWING. Ds has 1. When we walked by the dollars and the reward bin (they can use dollars to buy books, small toys, free play time in the classroom, no homework tickets, etc) ds said "I can't pick from the reward bin because I'm bad. Bad kids don't get to pick."
I started crying. I left the room (and left ds with dh) and went to go speak to the principal. He said the he was aware my ds was struggling- yet the teacher just said that it wasn't enough to warrant contacting ME to discuss?- I didn't send DS Friday. The principal called me and I told him my concerns, we have a meeting Tues.
I bumped into his K teacher on the way out and she asked how he liked first grade and I was honest. She told me this teacher just had a baby, came back from maternity and didn't want to return to work at all. She also has a history of having issues with certain kids other teachers didn't have issues with.
Dh and I have discussed private school. There is a catholic and a Montessori school close enough to transport ds to.
And I don't allow "raspberries" in my day care because often they are just a way to hide the fact the kids are in fact spitting
Anyway, I'm reading along and hoping things work out!!Comment
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I hope everything gets solved quickly. I can't himaing how awful this must be for all of you. :hug:Comment
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I'm not trying to pry Diva, but I've been thinking about you and your ds a lot this week, as I'm sure many others have too.
How did the meeting go with the principal?Comment
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The principal was very receptive. I went in there not to attack the teacher, but with the aim of helping her and ds, and I believe that helped diffuse the situation some. I just said that I didn't think it was a good fit for ds.
The principal was receptive to my concerns and I was even able to say to the teacher that it was FINE if she wasn't meshing with ds, it happens, and I don't think it has anything to do with her personally, but it was affecting ds negatively and I need to do what's best for him. She nodded.
They are looking to place him in another classroom. The teacher is not allowed to do her dollar system until ds is moved and they determine that she is being fai, since he saw on observation yesterday that it was negatively affecting not only ds- but another child in the classroom. He wants her to formally write up how the dollars are earned, lost, warnings, and show that it's fair to all.
*sigh* I sent ds in today, and I'm sure he will tell me every detail later. I'm still all upset from it all, and just wish I could pull him and CHOSE his teacher. (like parents can with providers!!)Comment
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Daycarediva, I am so sorry to read about your story it is so sad to have teachers like this in the classrooms, and to see the negative effects on children like your DS. I hope that you can get a classroom change soon and that things turn around for your son! :hug: for the great restraint and professionalism you managed to maintain, I'm sure it was so hard but hopefully will be a good example for your son on how to deal with unfair situations, and to stand up for what is right!
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I am hoping they will move him as soon as tomorrow for you and for his well being. I am also glad they are looking at her system of dollars, it should be fair to every child. I will never forget third grade when our teacher did something like that with tickets. The day before we were to buy things with them at the end of the year, mine disappeared they had been in pockets taped to the front of our desks. I told the teacher about it, and I know she had to have known that I had them, how could she not have? She passed them out and she saw them daily. So I of course was upset when I went in and saw that. She gave me ONE ticket to replace them and went on selling stuff as usual. We had been saving the tickets all year, this was the last day of school. Of course I couldn't buy anything with one ticket. I guess now that I type that all out I am still mad about it.Comment
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:hug:
I'm glad that the principal and teacher had a sit down with you and are allowing your ds to move classrooms. I'm glad that the teacher has to write up how the dollars are earned. Even if she doesn't mesh well with a child, there's no reason for her to use the dollars against them, you would think she would know that. I feel for you and your ds.Comment
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I'm glad the meeting went well. I hope they don't take their time about it.
Perhaps keeping your child home until changes are made will make them move faster?
Personally that is the route I would go. Now that you have had this meeting the I would be worried about my child being in the classroom, worried the teacher would be resentful toward him. At the very least there will be tension.
I would make a call to the principal and let him know that I feel it is in the best interest of my child to remain home until this is resolved.Comment
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