Need Advice ASAP Please

[Is it bedtime yet?]

My mom just recently started as my assistant. Originally I was just going to hire someone part time, but she was really wanting out of her other job so I ended up agreeing to bring her on full time, 40 hours a week, even though financially it is tight. I am closed 15 days a year and never even thought about paying her for those days. I only this year(after doing daycare for 7 years) started getting paid for my days off. I did a price increase and only upped my fee by $5 a week considering that I was no longer giving the families the break of not paying for holidays. So I consider my getting paid for those days as part of my well deserved raise after 7 years. Anyway, my mom got upset that I wasn't planning on paying her for those days. I told her if she wanted to work a few hours extra each week we would let those hours accrue and I would then pay her for the closings. She wasn't happy about it, but she agreed. I told her that she couldn't use the accrued hours for sick time because I am over raitio when she is gone and would have to send 2 kids home if she is out and I would be out the money. I should also mention the she has a history of getting 'sick' often at her past job. Today she came in sick and just laid on the couch for 2 hours not really helping at all. One of my kids was out already, and one got picked up early, so I told her to go ahead and go home. I was under my raitio, but it put me in a bad spot because I have to transport, so now I have to try to get all of the babies changed and fed to take with me since they can't stay with her like they usually do. I don't want to pay her for today, but she does have hours built up and I didn't loses any pay, so I feel like maybe I should? I am just really concerned that if she gets paid she is going to be way more likely to do it again and I can't have her calling in all of the time What should I do???

[midaycare]

My mom just recently started as my assistant. Originally I was just going to hire someone part time, but she was really wanting out of her other job so I ended up agreeing to bring her on full time, 40 hours a week, even though financially it is tight. I am closed 15 days a year and never even thought about paying her for those days. I only this year(after doing daycare for 7 years) started getting paid for my days off. I did a price increase and only upped my fee by $5 a week considering that I was no longer giving the families the break of not paying for holidays. So I consider my getting paid for those days as part of my well deserved raise after 7 years. Anyway, my mom got upset that I wasn't planning on paying her for those days. I told her if she wanted to work a few hours extra each week we would let those hours accrue and I would then pay her for the closings. She wasn't happy about it, but she agreed. I told her that she couldn't use the accrued hours for sick time because I am over raitio when she is gone and would have to send 2 kids home if she is out and I would be out the money. I should also mention the she has a history of getting 'sick' often at her past job. Today she came in sick and just laid on the couch for 2 hours not really helping at all. One of my kids was out already, and one got picked up early, so I told her to go ahead and go home. I was under my raitio, but it put me in a bad spot because I have to transport, so now I have to try to get all of the babies changed and fed to take with me since they can't stay with her like they usually do. I don't want to pay her for today, but she does have hours built up and I didn't loses any pay, so I feel like maybe I should? I am just really concerned that if she gets paid she is going to be way more likely to do it again and I can't have her calling in all of the time What should I do???

I suggest not working with family, if at all possible.

[Thriftylady]

I would be trying to get out of that arrangement. Family always makes things murky and hard, because of the emotional connections.

[Annalee]

I work with my mom, but they call us "pioneer women", not from looks, just from work ethic..:: When I had my first son in 2001, my dr told me that normally she would tell persons to take off 4-6 weeks but not me..I did close for 7 days....:: then when this same dr performed my moms surgery a few years later, she said she knew now where I got my Pioneer-genes from..:: Mom came into daycare the day she came home...was careful but that is just how my family is! Very rarely do we get sick or lay in the bed...

But I do tell providers I mentor to give assistants sick/personal/professional days to avoid turnover in staff...Maybe you could place a limit on those days so your mom would be more conscience of days....If these providers get paid 52 weeks per year, this is much more doable, but very few providers here charge 52 weeks a year...until they cross that bridge, I DO NOT know how they make it....Maybe the limited days will work in your case... Good luck!

[Cradle2crayons]

My mom just recently started as my assistant. Originally I was just going to hire someone part time, but she was really wanting out of her other job so I ended up agreeing to bring her on full time, 40 hours a week, even though financially it is tight. I am closed 15 days a year and never even thought about paying her for those days. I only this year(after doing daycare for 7 years) started getting paid for my days off. I did a price increase and only upped my fee by $5 a week considering that I was no longer giving the families the break of not paying for holidays. So I consider my getting paid for those days as part of my well deserved raise after 7 years. Anyway, my mom got upset that I wasn't planning on paying her for those days. I told her if she wanted to work a few hours extra each week we would let those hours accrue and I would then pay her for the closings. She wasn't happy about it, but she agreed. I told her that she couldn't use the accrued hours for sick time because I am over raitio when she is gone and would have to send 2 kids home if she is out and I would be out the money. I should also mention the she has a history of getting 'sick' often at her past job. Today she came in sick and just laid on the couch for 2 hours not really helping at all. One of my kids was out already, and one got picked up early, so I told her to go ahead and go home. I was under my raitio, but it put me in a bad spot because I have to transport, so now I have to try to get all of the babies changed and fed to take with me since they can't stay with her like they usually do. I don't want to pay her for today, but she does have hours built up and I didn't loses any pay, so I feel like maybe I should? I am just really concerned that if she gets paid she is going to be way more likely to do it again and I can't have her calling in all of the time What should I do???

If you want to continue letting her or anyone be your assistant, please address all of these concerns right now.

[Annalee]

I suggest not working with family, if at all possible.

I love working with my mom but if she ever quits, I am cutting my ratio back to 7 and working alone.

[KiddieCahoots]

If you want to continue letting her or anyone be your assistant, please address all of these concerns right now.

.....
Sounds like it's already off to a bad start.
I know some providers that work great with their moms.
I couldn't with my mom, but could with my daughters.
Guess you have to take a good look at the dynamics of your relationship with your mom to decide first if you think it would work for you to be her boss.

[Cradle2crayons]

I couldn't work with my family as far as daycare. I work with my dad and his family and the family farm but in a little different role.

My main thing with hiring an assistant... Even tho here I'd never be able to afford one but a gal can dream ....

(1) the person would have to have very similar work ethic and child care ethics as I do... So if I knew they missed a lot of work on their last job, that would be pretty much an automatic nooooooo

(2) I would have to be clear on sick days and vacation pay

(3) discuss and document what I expect from them... What they expect from me

(4) do a trial for one month

[KidGrind]

I would just pay her for the hours she was there. And I would tell her that you don’t think it’s going to work out.

[NightOwl]

I would get out of this arrangement somehow. I'm not sure how though, without hurt feelings. Maybe tell her the financial burden is harder than you realized it would be. Give her a few weeks to find employment while you also look for the part time assistant you wanted to begin with. I think that's a very valid reason and may help to avoid hurt feelings. I have worked with family before and will never ever ever do it again. They expect special and you end up walking on egg shells.

[rosieteddy]

First I would get out of this before real damage to your relationship is done.Secondly it probally would be a good idea to have a contract.It seems wrong to not give her paid Holidays and vacations.You are paid the parents pay their usual tuition she should be paid IMO.Sick time is a differant story,if you have to send people home then that cuts into your pay . I am not sure how that would work.I think if it was me I would sit down calmly and say you value your relationship to much to let this come between you.Let her start looking for a job and start interviewing for a new assistant.

[daycare]

if you are stuck in this I get it, but working with friends or family almost NEVER works out.

I have 4 assistants and I don't pay any of them time off. I give them days off as they ask for them, but the are unpaid.

I could never afford to pay them when we are closed.

I would tell your mother this and let her know it's her choice.

I would also be telling her that when she is there she needs to fulfill all of her duties, not just the ones she feels like doing.

The only way your business is going to stay successful is if everyone is giving their all. If she backs down with her ability to preform, then you business suffers. It will eventually show and your clients will see it.

I would have a heart to heart and tell your mother everything you would be telling someone who was not related to you

[racemom]

I work in a small daycare center and only get paid for days/hours that I work. No holiday, sick, or vacation pay. So that is not unreasonable to expect an assistant to accept those terms.

[Is it bedtime yet?]

I feel I should clarify as I wrote this in a hurry while still flustered earlier today. I was needing an answer before I wrote out her check for the week. She wanted to call in today, but I asked her to come in anyway because I had too many kids and would be over ratio. I wasn't questioning whether or not to pay her for the hours that she actually worked. I was questioning if I should pull from the hours she was accruing for holiday pay and use it to pay her for a full day even though she went home sick. We do have a contract of sorts and covered everything except this exact situation. It was unusual that she would need to be off and I ended up with few enough kids to be able to do it without bringing in and paying another helper to take her place. I'm not looking to fire her, I have no desire to hire a stranger and then leave them alone at my house for a few hours everyday while I am transporting. It will be my mom or no one. I knew going into this that she has a history of being sick more often then a lot of people. I think she worries about everything going around until she truly believes that she is sick. I just don't want to pay her and make it easier on her to believe she is sick when I bet she could work past it if she wanted to.

[Thriftylady]

Well I think you need to look at the contract and a way to fix the issue so it doesn't happen often and leave you in a bind. That and it is only fair to you both that you both know what to expect as far as payment.