Friday Rant

[mrsnj]

I have a new family who just started four weeks ago. Baby is sweet. Family is nice on the surface. However, every week since I have had an issue. Besides the fact that daddy still has his cord attached to his mother...who is about the nastiest woman ever! That alone is an issue. But clearly not mine other than having to deal with Gmom too! I took a dislike to her the moment she met me. I am having a hard time dealing with her. She is abrasive. Nosey. Rude. Forward. I view her as an alternate pick up. Gmom views herself as the queen bee and must be kept up to date. She will text her son and tell him what he should or should not do in regard to me. And the dork TELLS me. "Mom said....Mom said I should ask...Mom told me........." Clearly his wife and him have some issue they need to work out! Gmom on the other hand is nothing here and needs to keep her comments and opinions to herself. It doesn't sit well on my end. Mom has been working OT at work and so I have gotten to deal with Gmom coming for pick up. Which is another issue. She (Gmom) comes from work and can only pick up at 2:30 which is naptime. The first week I was ok with. Sometimes people get in jams. I just lock up the dogs before she got here and try and have the baby packed so I can shove her out the door so she doesn't wake the kids. But it has turned into every day since. Four weeks and counting. And Gmom doesn't just leave. I wake the babies getting the child up. So they are already fussy. Then Gmom pushes in the doorway and wants to hear the latest update. She is far from quiet. Usually I end the convo with the dogs barking and the babies crying and me irritated. That is issue #2. Issue three came this week when dad showed with a check. I returned it with a note that said I do not accept checks from new clients (too many bounces. Plus I am getting bad vibes with this family). Now he has paid me since they arrived with cash with no issues. This week there is a check.He knows. He texts me and says I left my check in the bag.....so where is the note? Either he has opted to ignore it or Gmom took it. To I tell him direct. Again. Can't take it. "Ok. (pause) Oh and we can't make it Tue cause the baby has a dr appointment so I will have to bring it Friday" (They are only three days) Today they come with the cash only it is shorted. He decide on his own to withdrawal money out of his choosing cause baby wasn't here Tue. Figured that was ok. So......you (the dad) decide not to show on Tue and opt to pull a figure out of your butt and not pay me in full cause YOU opted to make a dr appointment on the day baby was supposed to be here????? Ohhhhhhhhhh Dude!! I see you didn't read my parent handbook! Let me show you............ Baby is here three days. I would suggest next time you pick one of the other 4 for a dr appointment!

Like I have never been here and done it. Telling you. Money issues. If you can't pay. Don't bother coming. I wouldn't accept a check from them at this point in time. They just happened to forget they had a dr appointment when they were supposed to bring payment? How simply convenient that must have been.

BTW....heres my late fee................



This family won't be here long. Mark my words.

Sometimes it just gets plain and simply OLD.

[craftymissbeth]

#1 - "Sorry, Grandma, for privacy reasons I cannot discuss any updates with anyone other than the parent/guardian. I'm sure dcd will love to keep you in the loop"

#2 - "DCD, I just wanted to touch base with you about when Grandma picks up during naptime. While it's not an ideal time, I am ok with it as long as Grandma is extremely quiet, picks up dcg, and leaves quickly. If she's not able to do that, then dcg will need to be picked up when nap time is over"

#3 - I would give dcd a quick call and let him know that (if it's in your contract) that he was short on his payment and that late fees will be accruing until he comes in to pay it.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

MrsNJ-inch....mile!

I swear. I just couldn't take that very same kind of thing (ridiculous naptime disruptions, payment issues, lack of respect...but not the Gma! That is a bit much! Good heavens!) anymore. I was ready to quit.

Then I just started enforcing all my policies, especially on the issues that were really bugging me. I know you don't have trouble doing that, that's not my point. But now I have kids leaving prematurely fairly often, and I feel like I am squeezing them out by being so rigid.

While I am saying no in my head, I phrase it as a "yes...for a fee" to the DCFs. Like my last one I posted about that wanted their 1yo to have AM snack. I told them the food program rules, and said I can do that for an additional $15.00 per week until they were ready for her to go to my menu/schedule because I will no longer be able to turn her in for reimbursement. Or the DCM that wanted to drop off at 7:20 when I open at 7:30. I said yes, for another $10/week. She was mad that I wanted her to pay $2.00 for 10 minutes.

So how do we find that happy medium? Is there one?

[TheGoodLife]

#1 - "Sorry, Grandma, for privacy reasons I cannot discuss any updates with anyone other than the parent/guardian. I'm sure dcd will love to keep you in the loop"

#2 - "DCD, I just wanted to touch base with you about when Grandma picks up during naptime. While it's not an ideal time, I am ok with it as long as Grandma is extremely quiet, picks up dcg, and leaves quickly. If she's not able to do that, then dcg will need to be picked up when nap time is over"

#3 - I would give dcd a quick call and let him know that (if it's in your contract) that he was short on his payment and that late fees will be accruing until he comes in to pay it.

except for #2, I'd either say you can only do quick drop offs outside the door (meaning GMa doesn't step inside- just a handoff) or no pick ups at all during nap. You know he won't have the guys to tell his precious Mommy what the rules are!

[Blackcat31]

I don't mean to be rude but a majority of your issues start out with you being nice and allowing something and the parents taking it too far ending with you feeling used or resentful.

It would be much easier if you addressed each problem AS it occurs and put a stop to it after the first time.

Stop allowing thing to happen more than once if you don't want them to or they go against your rules/policies.

TELL gma she can NOT pick up during nap time. Tough cookies if that is when she gets off work. If she truly wants to help her son, she'll make sure she doesn't risk him losing his daycare arrangements.

STOP allowing dcd to tell you anything about what gma said. When he starts with "My mom said..." or "Mom thinks..." STOP him and tell him you are ONLY interested in communicating with him and his wife.

If your rules is CASH only, check or ask for the payment to be handed DIRECTLY to you, not left in a bag or tucked somewhere....that's usually a passive aggressive move when a parent plans on shorting you or when they want to break your cash=only rule.

Open, up front communication is usually the answer to 99.9% of provider-parent issues.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time with this family but I can also read/see from your post that there is TWO sides to this issue and ONE of those sides (you) HAS the power to change this situation.