Update On DCB Who Had A Seizure-Confused About DCM

[melilley]

I posted about a month ago about a dcb who had a seizure at home. Well, Dcb had an MRI from his own ped before going to the U of M and there was a little spot on his brain that the ped said that wasn't developing at the right rate so the ped referred dcm/dcb to a neurologist and about a month later (last Friday) they went to get evaluated by the neurologist at U of M.

Dcm called me on Monday to tell me what they said and I am just baffled and confused. She said that the neurologist said that he didn't know what dcb's doctors were talking about, that he didn't really see a spot on the MRI and that even though he had a seizure, that he probably won't ever have one again. And that since he had 3 seizures without any triggers that they said he officially has epilepsy (she told me it was a febrile seizure from a fever, so wouldn't that be a trigger? :confused and they upped his meds. THEN mom laughed. Yes, laughed and said that she didn't believe the U of M neurologist and said she was going to get a second opinion (that there isn't anything wrong). She then said that the neurologist said that he would send the MRI over to the ped neurologist and have them take a look. She was shocked that he said nothing was wrong. She also said that he is going in for a study for 1-4 days to see if he's having seizures when he stares. He has staring spells that I have noticed, but I also have noticed the other kids doing the same thing. It'll be interesting to see what comes of that.

I understand wanting to get a second opinion, but this dcm seems to WANT something to be wrong. It's weird. I don't know if there is a term for these kind of people, but it really bothers me. I say this because she has had dcb tested/observed for many things as well as her older son tested/observed for a multitude of things that supposedly only happen at home-specifically things that children with autism do. Well, I used to have the older brother and she told me a few things that she thought was wrong with him, but I had him here about 10 hours a day/5 days a week and didn't notice anything about what she was talking about. Everything he did was appropriate for his age, she's a preschool teacher, you would think she would know this.
Also, my friend works at the preschool where the older son goes and she said that the mom would come to a party and scold the son for doing things that my friend said he wasn't really doing, things that the other kids his age were doing and weren't out of the ordinary. It's like she wants attention. I don't get it.

[SignMeUp]

I have had several versions of this kind of parent, thankfully with nothing as serious as a seizure disorder.
I wonder if there's a name for them too. Or if they're in Nannyde's book

To me, it feels like they heard the term "special ed" and then felt their child was being slighted in comparison, so they have to "special" them up.

One of mine did it with PT/OT, and two with undiagnosed "allergies".
They "need", they "need", they "need".

I never go against what they have said, but I think they're full of hooey (says the provider who never hesitates to refer for assessment/evaluation of any suspected problem).

[cheerfuldom]

I think you nailed it. She wants attention. It is unfortunately very common for parents to look for something that makes their kid special or unique and having a special needs label or diagnosis is one of the way that parents do this. That is why it is important for skilled doctors, teachers, etc. to be able to decipher what is or is not wrong. At least she is still consulting these people instead of what some parents do......just start saying their kid is this or that and self diagnosing and treating.

**This is not to say that there are not real needs for parents out there! please don't misread my post. my comments are in reference to this particular mom

[melilley]

I have had several versions of this kind of parent, thankfully with nothing as serious as a seizure disorder.
I wonder if there's a name for them too. Or if they're in Nannyde's book

To me, it feels like they heard the term "special ed" and then felt their child was being slighted in comparison, so they have to "special" them up.

One of mine did it with PT/OT, and two with undiagnosed "allergies".
They "need", they "need", they "need".

I never go against what they have said, but I think they're full of hooey (says the provider who never hesitates to refer for assessment/evaluation of any suspected problem).

This is so right on!
DCM majored in education with an emphasis on special education. It seems that many things that she has come across (she had to student teach in a special education classroom), her kids may have according to her. Everything from this post to food intolerance's where they can't have this or that, or they will simply die. But funny how the dcb with a dairy "intolerance" is a "string cheese monster" according to dad.

[melilley]

I think you nailed it. She wants attention. It is unfortunately very common for parents to look for something that makes their kid special or unique and having a special needs label or diagnosis is one of the way that parents do this. That is why it is important for skilled doctors, teachers, etc. to be able to decipher what is or is not wrong. At least she is still consulting these people instead of what some parents do......just start saying their kid is this or that and self diagnosing and treating.

**This is not to say that there are not real needs for parents out there! please don't misread my post. my comments are in reference to this particular mom

Oh no, I totally understand what you are saying!
I understand that there are children out there with needs, but this mom is just over the top in thinking that her children, both, not just one, have all of these special needs. Dcb definitely is behind in his speech, but that's something that is apparent. The other things that she says he has or gets him evaluated for (particularly the older son) are just ridiculous.

[Soccermom]

This is so right on!
DCM majored in education with an emphasis on special education. It seems that many things that she has come across (she had to student teach in a special education classroom), her kids may have according to her. Everything from this post to food intolerance's where they can't have this or that, or they will simply die. But funny how the dcb with a dairy "intolerance" is a "string cheese monster" according to dad.

OMG I have this exact same DCM!!!

[Meyou]

I have one who claims her child has "digestive issues" related to daily and wheat. So we don't do dairy or wheat at all but she still has "digestive issues" that keep her up for hours each and every night.

In my mind, if dairy and wheat are causing the issues and we cut them out shouldn't the issues improve? The pediatrician she saw about it didn't think there was any issue at all but she's waiting for a second opinion with someone else.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Denial is a river in Egypt.

[melilley]

I have one who claims her child has "digestive issues" related to daily and wheat. So we don't do dairy or wheat at all but she still has "digestive issues" that keep her up for hours each and every night.

In my mind, if dairy and wheat are causing the issues and we cut them out shouldn't the issues improve? The pediatrician she saw about it didn't think there was any issue at all but she's waiting for a second opinion with someone else.

Yes they should improve!
My dcm said the same thing when dcb was breast feeding. She said she wouldn't have any gluten or dairy because dcb would cry when she ate/drank it and that the older son had a gluten "intolerance" so young dcb probably does too.
I honestly think that she couldn't handle his crying (he cried all.the.time) and had to blame it on something. So same thing here, he wasn't exposed to the supposed (sp?) thing that made him cry, yet he always cried. He's still gluten free at 2.

[racemom]

This is how my niece is, her son had speech delays--he has been tested for autism and every other thing she has heard. She constantly is talking on FB about her special needs son. Okay, maybe I am wrong, but needing speech in kindergarten isn't that big of a deal. But she is a drama queen and uses this as a look at me I am raising a special needs child. Now she is pregnant, and all she talks about is how she has contractions all the time, has been to Er numerous times and they find nothing, etc. So I really believe it is for attention.

[Unregistered]

Yes. This is my DCM. I didn't watch her son, but she subjected him to loads of testing due to his "fussiness". The child never cried--he would whimper every now and then, and she took it to mean he was ill. He had to go through one test that required general anesthesia! She didn't believe the doctor when he said nothing was wrong with the kid. She still talks about how rough that first year was with him. I do the smile and nod.

Her daughter is actually very, very fussy, and while DCM did some of her old shenanigans, thankfully, she had some other drama going on in her life to distract from the child. I'm thankful this poor little girl, who's been in my care this year, hasn't had to go through all the same things! DCM is insecure and has no hobbies. Hyper-focusing on her children is her hobby, and it's led to some of the dumbest proclamations and medical interventions I've ever seen. She loves to talk about her "mommy gut" or "mommy instincts" telling her something is wrong--this chick has no instincts. The most clueless mom I've ever met!

[TaylorTots]

denial is a river in egypt.

roflmao <3

[cheerfuldom]

Yes. This is my DCM. I didn't watch her son, but she subjected him to loads of testing due to his "fussiness". The child never cried--he would whimper every now and then, and she took it to mean he was ill. He had to go through one test that required general anesthesia! She didn't believe the doctor when he said nothing was wrong with the kid. She still talks about how rough that first year was with him. I do the smile and nod.

Her daughter is actually very, very fussy, and while DCM did some of her old shenanigans, thankfully, she had some other drama going on in her life to distract from the child. I'm thankful this poor little girl, who's been in my care this year, hasn't had to go through all the same things! DCM is insecure and has no hobbies. Hyper-focusing on her children is her hobby, and it's led to some of the dumbest proclamations and medical interventions I've ever seen. She loves to talk about her "mommy gut" or "mommy instincts" telling her something is wrong--this chick has no instincts. The most clueless mom I've ever met!

yeah that is a good description, hyperfocusing. obsessing over your child. you have nothing else going on and you make yourself feel better about that fact and justify it by how "involved" you are with your child. a typical kid does not need that much attention so you cook up a special need so that you have an excuse for your weird behavior.

[lynne]

There is a mental illness called Munchowser (sp?) syndrom, Mothers and sometimes fathers will make their kids sick with meds and imaginary illness to get attention for themselves....sometimes the children die because of it....

[Baby lady]

Münchausen syndrome by proxy

"In Münchausen syndrome by proxy, an adult caregiver (typically the mother), makes a child appear sick by either fabricating symptoms or actually causing harm to the child, in order to gain the attention of medical providers and others. In order to perpetuate the medical relationship, the caregiver systematically misrepresents symptoms, fabricates signs, manipulates laboratory tests, or even purposely harms the child (e.g. by poisoning, suffocation, infection, physical injury).Studies have shown a mortality rate of between 6% and 10% of MSbP victims, making it perhaps the most lethal form of abuse."