How Much Time To Adjust For Part Time?

[CraftyMom]

I know there was a similar post last week, but my child is older so...

I have a new dcb who is 2.5 seemed like a good fit, turns out I was probably wrong. Last week was his first week. He is only M, W, F.

He wants me near him constantly, SCREAMS when I walk away from him. If I sit next to him all day he will be smiling and happy. Other than that he is crying....very obnoxiously.

I gave him a crying spot but it doesn't matter, the crying is so loud that no matter where I put him he will be upsetting everyone. My 13 yo was home from school on Friday and says "Omg I want to rip my eyeballs out!" That's pretty much how we all feel

Has no concept of rules or boundaries, wants things his way all day or he scream cries.

He hasn't been around other kids much and doesn't know how to play. Snatches toys, pushes, shoves, hits.

He hasn't eaten here yet, refuses anything I try to give him, demands fruit snacks and cookies, which of course I do not give him. So he would rather not eat, even things his parents specified as his favorites. Everything has to be on his terms.

He needs a lot of adjusting, clearly. Needs to learn how to be around other kids, etc. But I am not up for the task.

I've had this situation 3 other times. 2 didn't work out but I kept them here too long, trying to make it work but we were all miserable and they never adjusted. The 3rd took a whole month of scream crying every day before she got used to daycare. I won't do that again.

He has been taken care of by grandma since birth. Mom says grandma holds him all day. Rocks him at nap time (the whole time). She lets him eat what he wants, watches tv all day. In mom's words, grandma made him a spoiled brat. Now they want me to fix it.

On Friday my 2 infants barely had naps because of the crying. The vibe in here was so negative, the other kids were fighting (they normally don't). He finally napped for almost 2 hours, but by then the infants were all out of wack and didn't sleep.

He is out sick today (Enterovirus maybe?) So he'll only be here 2 days this week assuming he is better by Wed.

On the days he is not here he is with grandma! So I feel like anything I do here is in vain. He'll go back to grandma and she'll undo everything in between daycare days.

Of course I didn't know all of this before I took him. It is all becoming more clear each day.

So my question...how long do I give him before I throw in the towel? He is only here 3 days which is hard anyway (I do not have the availability for full week, nor do I want him here everyday at this point) I have a 2 week trial period, but given he is only here 3 days should I give him longer? I feel like it just isn't a good fit and I want to say goodbye, but what is a reasonable amount of time so I at least tried?

I don't think it's a question of IF I will term, so much as WHEN. I was giving him until the end of this week, but now since he is not here today I just don't know. Should I end it at the end of this week?

I just want my happy daycare back!

[NeedaVaca]

Why prolong the inevitable? I say the sooner the better...

[Shell]

Yeah, this is too much. Grandma is making things difficult, and it stinks they want you to fix or undo everything she has done. I bet dcm does this stuff, too but it's easier to make Gma the bad guy. I would be done ASAP- you tried, but not every one is going to be a fit.

[Controlled Chaos]

I had a 2 1/2 year old 3 days a week once who took 3 MONTHS to adjust. It was awful. I kept her because mom was having an rocky pregnancy and was going to stay home after new baby was born so I knew there was an end date to the madness.

With grandma reinforcing bad habits every other day - TERM NOW!!!

:hug:

[daycare]

They say it takes 21-30 consistent times to form a new habit. Key word consistent.

I would give them 3-4 weeks and would expect to see a little progress within the first two weeks and then on board in 4 weeks.

[craftymissbeth]

They say it takes 21-30 consistent times to form a new habit. Key word consistent.

I would give them 3-4 weeks and would expect to see a little progress within the first two weeks and then on board in 4 weeks.

Idk... in a program with infants, 3-4 weeks is a LONG time.

The only way I'd be willing to give him that much time is if he was full time with me AND everyone was on board to get the issue fixed.

[cheerfuldom]

I would term mainly because the situation with Grandma is not going to change and there is too much to overcome......he isnt eating, napping, playing well, and is crying all day. I can work through one or two of those issues but all four, yikes. He is miserable all day and making everyone else miserable and needs a lot of work. I would term and recommend they go somewhere full time with a provider that is aware of the issues and willing to do a lot of work for an extended time to get him properly socialized. Grandma has created a monster and the parents have let it happen. I would say this little guy needs a solid 6 months of consistent full time care.

[CraftyMom]

Well now I'm just confused by this little guy!

I had planned on terming by today, the end of his 2 week trial.

He is only m,w,f but was out m and w with walking pneumonia! He's been on antibiotics since Monday. I guess over the weekend he had fever and horrible coughing.

He came today and is a different kid, so far! Didn't cry not even once today, he's been playing with the other kids and right now he is napping!

Now I feel bad, wondering if maybe he just didn't feel well last week. He had no fever or other signs of illness other than a runny nose which I attributed to all the crying! When I spoke with mom she just said that's how he is, spoiled!

Well, since he missed most of this week and is doing remarkably well today I guess I'll give him another week.

He still has issues with sharing, etc but that can be worked through. That would explain wanting me near him and not eating anything if he wasn't feeling well. But since I didn't know him and given mom's description as spoiled I assumed he was just difficult.

I even called my husband at work to tell him how pleasantly shocked I was at this boy today and how well he is doing!

Now my concern is ....he was here all last week with the beginnings of walking pneumonia! Incubation period is one to three weeks, hopefully since he really wasn't playing with anyone last week we might avoid everyone getting it

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Well now I'm just confused by this little guy!

I had planned on terming by today, the end of his 2 week trial.

He is only m,w,f but was out m and w with walking pneumonia! He's been on antibiotics since Monday. I guess over the weekend he had fever and horrible coughing.

He came today and is a different kid, so far! Didn't cry not even once today, he's been playing with the other kids and right now he is napping!

Now I feel bad, wondering if maybe he just didn't feel well last week. He had no fever or other signs of illness other than a runny nose which I attributed to all the crying! When I spoke with mom she just said that's how he is, spoiled!

Well, since he missed most of this week and is doing remarkably well today I guess I'll give him another week.

He still has issues with sharing, etc but that can be worked through. That would explain wanting me near him and not eating anything if he wasn't feeling well. But since I didn't know him and given mom's description as spoiled I assumed he was just difficult.

I even called my husband at work to tell him how pleasantly shocked I was at this boy today and how well he is doing!

Now my concern is ....he was here all last week with the beginnings of walking pneumonia! Incubation period is one to three weeks, hopefully since he really wasn't playing with anyone last week we might avoid everyone getting it

happyface That is great!

[Unregistered]

I cant believe how many of you "providers" talk like you are fortune 500 CEO's.

Reading these posts makes me believe you are strictly a business that just happens to involve children. Makes me sad.

[LysesKids]

I cant believe how many of you "providers" talk like you are fortune 500 CEO's.

Reading these posts makes me believe you are strictly a business that just happens to involve children. Makes me sad.

I am a business woman that happens to get involved with my families... I worked for many years out in corporate America before doing childcare. Parents don't always get the message that even though it is more of a personal relationship than other service jobs, we still are a business; this is not something we take on just to kill time. Sometimes there just isn't a good fit and you have to let go otherwise it affects the other kids in your care AND it takes a toll on the providers mental state... forcing a situation that probably won't change is asking for disaster down the road.

BTW, it does break our hearts when situations don't work, it's part of the job, however unless you "have been there" you might not get it

[Unregistered]

We have that same problem except that the child is full time and 1.5 years old and has an older sibling that is in school. He cries non stop except when he is playing. HATES when I'm in there with him and cries until the teacher comes back. I don't know what to do.