Am I Being Too Hard on DCG?

[Josiegirl]

I would've just shrugged my shoulders and said ok. then taken her shirt off. Food might be warm but it shouldn't be hot enough to burn anyways. Lord knows we have thousands of issues to deal with every single day, this is a teeny one and one I feel maybe the child could have a little control over.

[KiddieCahoots]

How about using one of the art smocks that you have to put your arms through, or the ones that tie at the back of the neck?
Add extra reinforcement with more Velcro at the back, put the ties in knots, all to make sure she can't get it off ::....
If you are going to take on the power struggle, go big and win! ::....

[nannyde]

I would spend every day bibbing and unbibbing her... hundreds of times.

[CraftyMom]

I would spend every day bibbing and unbibbing her... hundreds of times.

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[midaycare]

I think withholding food(or using food for reward or punishment) is one of the worst things a caregiver can do. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but it's a reality. The kids don't need to "earn" food here. Food is available for those who want it.

Though I won't give a child a special treat if they are misbehaving (like cupcake if a child was hitting, etc.). I don't make them do things to eat meals.

How would the daycare parents react to knowing you withhold lunch?

This is why I asked for help on the issue. It doesn't make me feel bad. I don't think I handled it correctly, so I asked for help. Food was always available - of she wanted to wear a bib. It was sitting there, on her tray, ready for her whenever she chose to put her bib.

When I tell dcp's (because I will today at pickup), they will probably laugh. Dcg is very stubborn and prone to fits when she doesn't get her way. They also really respect me, so I think it's a non-issue with the parents.

[coolconfidentme]

I would just put the bib on and keep putting it on until it stays on. The bib isn't what is important, but following directions is. At 2, the child can understand that you are the one in charge.

This what I do. If they continually do it, they get a snap bib. I'm the boss, applesauce!

[racemom]

I don't think you handled it terribly. This is a power struggle, not about a bib. I don't with hold food, but they get it when bibs are on, if they take them off I ask if they are done. If not remind them as I put it back on, bibs stay on until we are done. If they throw a fit, I take the food and keep reminding them they will get it when they leave their bib on. It doesn't take long for them to learn they have to wear it too eat.

[CraftyMom]

I have a rule here that kids need to remain seated to eat. No walking around with food. No getting up and coming back to eat, back and forth. If they get up it means they are done and I take the food away, so when they come back it is gone. They are reminded as soon as they try to walk away that their food will be gone when they come back. They usually sit right back down.

With new starts I give them 3 chances (since they are new to this rule and most of them walk around with food at home). The first couple of times they are reminded to stay seated to eat, if they get up it means they are done. After the 3rd chance the food is taken away. They catch on quickly. I also am not with holding food, but they have to sit down to eat it.

Kind of the same concept for you, here is your food, but you need to wear your bib. That is the rule.

[midaycare]

I don't think you handled it terribly. This is a power struggle, not about a bib. I don't with hold food, but they get it when bibs are on, if they take them off I ask if they are done. If not remind them as I put it back on, bibs stay on until we are done. If they throw a fit, I take the food and keep reminding them they will get it when they leave their bib on. It doesn't take long for them to learn they have to wear it too eat.

That is exactly what I did. Maybe I'm just wording it wrong!

[daycare]

Once they take a bib off, I don't put it back on.
Not my problem if their shirt gets dirty. I tell my parents to only send their kids in clothes that they mind getting stained.

This....you can offer them a bib to wear, you can't force them to do it. I would try to put it on and if it gets pulled off, then let it go and give her the food.

Let the parents deal with the clothing issue.

*****By any chance to do you tell parents NOT to send their children in nice clothing to daycare for the simple reason that it WILL get ruined? I tell all new enrollments this and even have a section in my PHB that I will not be responsible for clothing that gets ruined. They were told.

Tuesday, we went to the park and I had a child wearing white on white when we left and when we came back she was wearing brown on green.... Not my problem, the parents were already warned.

[CraftyMom]

This....you can offer them a bib to wear, you can't force them to do it. I would try to put it on and if it gets pulled off, then let it go and give her the food.

Let the parents deal with the clothing issue.

*****By any chance to do you tell parents NOT to send their children in nice clothing to daycare for the simple reason that it WILL get ruined? I tell all new enrollments this and even have a section in my PHB that I will not be responsible for clothing that gets ruined. They were told.

Tuesday, we went to the park and I had a child wearing white on white when we left and when we came back she was wearing brown on green.... Not my problem, the parents were already warned.

Me too, I have a line that says I will not be responsible for "good clothes being ruined".

Sometimes when kids do where something silly for daycare, like a frilly dress with white tights, I secretly hope they get extra dirty that day

[Blackcat31]

What does the child's mother/father say about her wearing a bib?

If they don't care, then why fight with her?

I DO agree about her learning to follow directions and rules but if this isn't a big deal to the parents, then I'd pass on using the bib as a way to teach her about following directions.

If her parents DO care, then I'd ask her so that NO MATTER what her choice is, she wears a bib. "Do you want this bib or that bib?" "Do you want to try putting it on yourself or do you want me to do it?" etc....

If the other kids start being copy cats, I use it as a teachable moment and talk/discuss with the kids about making our own choices and then if necessary ask them the same "winning" questions...

[Meeko]

I don't see it as with-holding food. I see it as she made a choice.

The bib and the food are not offered separately. She either chooses them as a pair or she doesn't.

Food program rules say you must OFFER food. You did. Food was in front of her. It is not unreasonable to expect her to wear a bib. The rules do NOT say that the child gets the food on THEIR terms.

What if the child refuses to eat unless she gets a red plate.......or insists she sit by the window.......or has her peas in an artistic design on the plate....???...

We do NOT have to cater to their every whim when it comes to food.

Offer it the way you want to (with a bib). She can take it or leave it. This is nothing more than a power struggle. She is enjoying the drama.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I had some brand new, white, Ralph Lauren jeans accompany some spaghetti sauce to school this week. :: (parents provide lunch, so it wasn't MY doing).
DCG2 managed to pull it off without a spot.
I won a $5 bet with my husband on this. I called no stains.::

[lynne]

I always take shirts off for lunch, I hate to send kids home in dirty clothes. And its so much easier to clean the kids up after they eat. A clean washcloth for each one and I'm done.