Kids Act Like Wild Animals When Parents Pick Up

[Christina72684]

I have a girl who comes for preschool only 8:30-12:30 and when her dad picks up we are either already laid down for nap or in the process of doing so. If we're not already laying down the kids act like wild animals! They're laughing and screaming at books they're "reading" or jumping on cots or running around. And I don't yell at them exactly, but I feel like I can't raise my voice around the parents because they'll think I always do it, especially this dad. His daughter's only been here a few weeks and she told him I yelled at her Friday for something involving a sign and I have NO CLUE what she's talking about.

They're extra crazy when we're getting inspected by food program or licensing, or a potential family who might bring their kids is here. I know for a fact I didn't get one AS girl bc the kids were acting so crazy. But in my defense it's hard to talk to parents about our policies and daily schedule AND watch the kids at the same time.

Anyways, do your DCK act up when other adults are here? How do you calm them down?

[Shell]

You might consider having her ready, and by the door when dcd picks up. Also, it is nearly impossible to interview during work hours, which is why so many of is schedule them for after hours. I used to teach in a classroom (I joined mid year after another teacher left), and the kids would run around the hallways when a parent showed up, and they were super disrespectful. I put a stop to that, fast. Kids will act up, so I think all you can do is have dcg ready to go and out the door before the other kids even get riled up. Good luck!

[NeedaVaca]

My DCK's can act a little different in front of the parents but definitely not running or jumping on furniture! I would speak up, I mean you are losing potential kids because of the behavior so something needs to be done. You shouldn't be afraid to take control The kind of parents you want will appreciate that!

If you have an assistant (I think I remember that from previous posts) I would change the process. When it's time to get ready for naps have 1 person get all the kids together and read stories to them while the other person gets cots ready for nap time.

When it's time for my pickups they are all pretty much within a 30 minute time frame, we sit on the couch for stories and songs, they are not allowed to get up.

[Indoorvoice]

I second Shell's response and it is also helpful for me to prepare the other kids before a pick up occurs so they know the expectations. I'll talk to them about what they should do when a parent comes in and sometimes we role play. Remind them off rules and have consequences when they don't act appropriately. I find that the parents appreciate when I calmly redirect and enforce consequences in front of them. It shows I'm in control and that the kids respect me.

[finsup]

My OWN child does this! Every time a new adult comes in it's like "let's see how much I can show off and get away with!" It bothers me to no end because he's a pretty good kid overall and that is so NOT the impression he is giving. Then try discipling him when parents are talking to me and yup, I so get it...

Anyways, what's helped the most has been planning a project that they can do own their own when I know other adults will be coming. Play-doh has worked well. Paint is another one. If weather permits we just go outside before anyone picks up and that's helped a lot. It's ok if he's running and yelling outside Interviews, I do only after hours and preferbly when my husband is home and can do something with our kids so they're (ok so my 3 year old is not) acting like a crazy person .

[coolconfidentme]

Kids who have consequences do not do that. Give them consequences. If TO is your consequence, the parent will have to wait. Here, the TO doesn't start until the child is done crying or screaming. Yes, I can be the mean DC cop, but I will not put up with that behavior when I know the child is capable of being good.

I would say, "If you act like this tomorrow you will get TO, mom will have to wait." Say what you mean, & mean what you say.

[cheerfuldom]

I would have the child ready to go and do the handoff at the door. If I couldnt manage that, I would let them go and replace with a child that had a less disruptive schedule. I do interviews week day evenings only. I dont do lengthy conversations with parents at drop off or pickup. Quick hellos or goodbyes. Anything else and they can call me at a scheduled time, email me or some other option.

[KiddieCahoots]

Kids who have consequences do not do that. Give them consequences. If TO is your consequence, the parent will have to wait. Here, the TO doesn't start until the child is done crying or screaming. Yes, I can be the mean DC cop, but I will not put up with that behavior when I know the child is capable of being good.

I would say, "If you act like this tomorrow you will get TO, mom will have to wait." Say what you mean, & mean what you say.

..........
I used to have this problem too.

I will stop whatever conversation I'm having with an adult to talk to the kids and set things right, the kids have learned this too, so they behave.

[jenboo]

Kids who have consequences do not do that. Give them consequences. If TO is your consequence, the parent will have to wait. Here, the TO doesn't start until the child is done crying or screaming. Yes, I can be the mean DC cop, but I will not put up with that behavior when I know the child is capable of being good.

I would say, "If you act like this tomorrow you will get TO, mom will have to wait." Say what you mean, & mean what you say.

I do this but it doesn't phase them. Last time the food program lady came, it was a disaster. I had kids climbing in tables, tackling each other, running, screaming, throwing every thing in sight, trying to get into the lady's bag, etc. Nothing I did stopped them it was horrible. Lunch was burning, we were behind schedule ...I was on the verge of tears.

[nannyde]

You need to have people come over who appear to the kids as being parents or officials and practice disciplining them immediately when they act out. They need to have this happen MANY times until they GET that you will intercede and punish them no matter who is in the house.

Have your friends come over with notebook in hand and pretend you are meeting with them. Get up and get all up in their business with EVERY infraction. Do it right after lunch so you can put them straight to BED if they can't behave.

If you do this enough they won't know what is real business and what is a drill. They need to know that you will do WHATEVER it takes WHENEVER you need to to keep their behavior under control.

[Unregistered]

I had two boys like that. No matter what type of discipline or consequence they had they acted like absolute fools when parents would come in for drop off. I told them that from now on when a parent comes in you sit in this chair because you have shown me you don't know how to behave.The parents would sometimes be there for 10-15 minutes dropping off and I made them sit the whole time.A couple of the parents said something about how they didn't mind if they ran around. Well I mind and this is my home and we do not act like animals to get people's attention.One parent started doing a drop and run because she said she felt bad they had to sit.I told her Yeah, they look real traumatized over there reading and learning how to behave around people! They need to sit and they need practice.Start it tomorrow, every time a parent comes in and they act up, walk over and sit them down on a rug or in a chair.You also need to discuss before how you expect them to act and what will happen if they don't.Example- "In a few minutes Sue will be here and I expect you to behave! There will be no running, screaming, jumping, etc. "If you do you will get a time out" or whatever you use. It seems like they know you won't discipline so they act out even more.I discipline no matter who is there - Their parents, food program lady, licensing, the president could be here and I'll discipline exactly the same. You said you were afraid to raise your voice, I never raise my voice, ever! In fact I think they get scared when I whisper because they know they are in serious trouble if I whisper to you.

[cheerfuldom]

I had two boys like that. No matter what type of discipline or consequence they had they acted like absolute fools when parents would come in for drop off. I told them that from now on when a parent comes in you sit in this chair because you have shown me you don't know how to behave.The parents would sometimes be there for 10-15 minutes dropping off and I made them sit the whole time.A couple of the parents said something about how they didn't mind if they ran around. Well I mind and this is my home and we do not act like animals to get people's attention.One parent started doing a drop and run because she said she felt bad they had to sit.I told her Yeah, they look real traumatized over there reading and learning how to behave around people! They need to sit and they need practice.Start it tomorrow, every time a parent comes in and they act up, walk over and sit them down on a rug or in a chair.You also need to discuss before how you expect them to act and what will happen if they don't.Example- "In a few minutes Sue will be here and I expect you to behave! There will be no running, screaming, jumping, etc. "If you do you will get a time out" or whatever you use. It seems like they know you won't discipline so they act out even more.I discipline no matter who is there - Their parents, food program lady, licensing, the president could be here and I'll discipline exactly the same. You said you were afraid to raise your voice, I never raise my voice, ever! In fact I think they get scared when I whisper because they know they are in serious trouble if I whisper to you.

yup. I did the chair thing with my own second daughter who acted like a clown anytime anyone was at the door. One chair facing the wall if need be, no toys, no talking. They behave or sit in the chair. I know it sounds harsh but two weeks of the chair and the problem was solved forever I dont punish so much as offer a choice.....behave or sit down, your choice.

[coolconfidentme]

yup. I did the chair thing with my own second daughter who acted like a clown anytime anyone was at the door. One chair facing the wall if need be, no toys, no talking. They behave or sit in the chair. I know it sounds harsh but two weeks of the chair and the problem was solved forever I dont punish so much as offer a choice.....behave or sit down, your choice.

It's not harsh at all. How sad that respect is a dying art.