Advice

[tntsmom]

Okay, to make a long story short, I have had a little girl age 4 now and her brother age 6 now since she was 1 and he was 3, and have become attached and been part of the families birthday parties, etc. The boy I take to and from school daily and did preschool with him before starting school. I have done preschool with the daughter for the last 1 1/2 and have taken her to Speech therapy 2 days a week, always hold their check if they ask me to and have absorbed many bank fees to reprocess their check if funds were not available. The mom took a new job and found out she can get 1/2 off of preschool which is $95/week and I charge $105/week full time and they want to pull her to put her in it until next August and then come back if spot is available so I can transport her to/from school. They want me to still care for their son because there is very few providers in our town that transport.
I am taking this very personal because they are only saving $40/month and taking her from an environment she has known for 3 1/2 years and pull her for 10 months and then maybe bring her back.
Should I take this personal or am I overreacting?

[Blackcat31]

I'm sorry you are hurt by this but honestly this is a profession that involves emotional connections and that is always hard to navigate.

Families will ALWAYS do what's best/easiest for them. Even if that means leaving you.

They don't keep using you for child care for emotional reasons, they are using your services because it works for them.

Personally, I love the kids while I have them but I KNOW they will leave the second that my services are no longer required. I'm okay with that.

Because I would do the same.

As a business owner, I don't keep clients I love for free. I do it because they pay me. If they stopped paying me, I would stop offering services.

Goes both ways.

I'm sure that isn't what you want to hear but I think it's the truth.

Again, I am sorry you are feeling this way. :hug:

[tntsmom]

You are exactly right and I needed to hear that. Thank You Blackcat31 for your honesty and perspective.

[SSWonders]

I'm probably going out on a limb here, and I know it is just a service oriented profession, but if someone leaves me because they find something "better" for them, then I am done. Period. I won't take them on off days when the "better" alternative is closed for them, etc. I do take it personally to be second choice. That's just me. Can't get past it.

[KSDC]

I agree with BC that you need to try and not let it get to you.

BUT, you also need to make sure they know that you are not going to be saving that spot for them. When they decide to come back, they probably won't be able to...

[Kimskiddos]

I'm probably going out on a limb here, and I know it is just a service oriented profession, but if someone leaves me because they find something "better" for them, then I am done. Period. I won't take them on off days when the "better" alternative is closed for them, etc. I do take it personally to be second choice. That's just me. Can't get past it.

Yes, I feel the same way. Have turned away a couple of dcf's that left for cheaper or free care and then wanted to come back because it didn't work out.

[hope]

I would still watch the boy and fill the girls spot when she leaves. I would stop accepting late payments. Let them know this is what you are willing to do. Be prepared for them to pull both children.

[tntsmom]

Yes, I agree. I just feel so taken advantage of, and I don't like to feel this way.

[nanglgrl]

Would it even be worth keeping their son since you have to transport if he's a schoolager? It seems to me the minimal amount you get for watching him before/after school wouldn't be worth the time/hassle/extra insurance and gas unless he has a sibling in care full time. I would tell the family that and chances are they will stay with you. I agree not to take it personally and hopefully they won't take it personally if you say the new arrangement doesn't work for you.

[tntsmom]

KSDC, yes, I will let them know, and let them know that if a full time family needs care, I will fill the spot.

[Thriftylady]

Would it even be worth keeping their son since you have to transport if he's a schoolager? It seems to me the minimal amount you get for watching him before/after school wouldn't be worth the time/hassle/extra insurance and gas unless he has a sibling in care full time. I would tell the family that and chances are they will stay with you. I agree not to take it personally and hopefully they won't take it personally if you say the new arrangement doesn't work for you.

I agree with this. And if they wanted to pull the girl, I would tell them that I couldn't promise a spot when they want you back next fall. I understand them doing what they think is best for them, but YOU need to do what is best for you. Jumping through hoops for a family that doesn't even treat you right isn't best for you IMHO.

[Cat Herder]

I agree with BC above.

BUT

I would not take them back. I simply don't do it.

As an aside, it does seem to be the family we do the most for that treat us the worst. I think it is because we inadvertently teach them that they are more important than us by doing it. :confused:

Never do special for the families. Do it only for you. What makes you feel good about you, and nothing more. It is easier to digest the slaps in the face that way. :hug:

[Crazy8]

you can't take it personally, this is a business and you have to treat it as such. Yes, it hurts to lose a child you love but like BC said, you need to realize parents are always going to do what is best for them and you need to do what is best for you in your business making decisions. And the things you did for them, they don't see any of that as "extra" they see it all as part of what they were paying you for. Do not accept late payments, waive fees, etc. for anyone and you won't feel like you did them any favors. Remember, its a business!!

In a case like this I would not take the child back in 10 months, I would be "full" when that time comes. And depending on how much they are paying me and what my schedule is like I would probably drop the brother too. I would let them know that while you "normally" don't do school age children (if you don't?) you kept him on because of their daughter but since she is leaving you feel it is best to eliminate that hassle from your day and focus on providing all day care to younger children.

Basically, I'd be done with them.

[NeedaVaca]

you can't take it personally, this is a business and you have to treat it as such. Yes, it hurts to lose a child you love but like BC said, you need to realize parents are always going to do what is best for them and you need to do what is best for you in your business making decisions. And the things you did for them, they don't see any of that as "extra" they see it all as part of what they were paying you for. Do not accept late payments, waive fees, etc. for anyone and you won't feel like you did them any favors. Remember, its a business!!

In a case like this I would not take the child back in 10 months, I would be "full" when that time comes. And depending on how much they are paying me and what my schedule is like I would probably drop the brother too. I would let them know that while you "normally" don't do school age children (if you don't?) you kept him on because of their daughter but since she is leaving you feel it is best to eliminate that hassle from your day and focus on providing all day care to younger children.

Basically, I'd be done with them.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Yes, I agree. I just feel so taken advantage of, and I don't like to feel this way.

They are using you. They are exploiting your kindness and flexibility.