Has Anyone Else Ever Felt Like This?

[Soccermom]

Just so tired of peeling screaming children out of their parents arms every morning for no reason whatsoever?

It just breaks my heart since I genuinely love my daycare kids and treat them as I do my own.....I know every child would prefer to be with their parents in any healthy parent child relationship but it is so hard to always be the hated bad guy every day.

I have one little DCG now who tells me at least 35 times a day that she doesn't love me because she loves her mom....Okay I get it, you are killing me every time you tell me so stop it!! LOL

Another one will pick flowers and say - These are not for you, they are for my Mom because I love my Mom more.

Maybe I sound strange in posting this but it is a genuine feeling that I have lately and it really bothers me. It is just such a thankless job. The parents resent us for being able to spend the day with their child and the kids resent us because they want to be with their parents.

I should add that not all my daycare kids scream in the mornings - Just one or two in particular..mostly the ones who appear to be spoiled rotten at home.

It's just that lately it is hard to spend all day caring for them to the best of my ability knowing that they would rather be at home.

I often wonder if it is an indication that I am no longer a good child care provider....maybe they are getting the vibe that I am just not feeling daycare anymore. I don't know. Am I alone in feeling this way?

[midaycare]

What are the ages of the children? I have 2.5 and younger and they miss their parents, sure, but they aren't upset to come here.

[Soccermom]

The morning screamer will be 3 in a few days and the I love my mom more kid is 3 and a half.

[Cat Herder]

Sorry, this one is new to me... :confused:

Is it possible that you could be projecting that feeling of wanting to only be with your own kids onto them?

Pregnant? New baby? Last baby getting more independent? Baby blues?

[BrooklynM]

Kids are like cats sometimes. If they sense that you are trying to hard they want nothing to do with you. Try backing off a bit and let them come to you.

[Soccermom]

Sorry, this one is new to me... :confused:

Is it possible that you could be projecting that feeling of wanting to only be with your own kids onto them?

Pregnant? New baby? Last baby getting more independent? Baby blues?

It would make me so sad to think they are getting that vibe from me since I try so hard to hide it and treat them all like my own. But it is not altogether unlikely because nothing else has changed other than my little guy starting kinder this year...

I would never want a child to feel that he is not wanted here....

[Laurel]

Just so tired of peeling screaming children out of their parents arms every morning for no reason whatsoever?

It just breaks my heart since I genuinely love my daycare kids and treat them as I do my own.....I know every child would prefer to be with their parents in any healthy parent child relationship but it is so hard to always be the hated bad guy every day.

I have one little DCG now who tells me at least 35 times a day that she doesn't love me because she loves her mom....Okay I get it, you are killing me every time you tell me so stop it!! LOL

Another one will pick flowers and say - These are not for you, they are for my Mom because I love my Mom more.

Maybe I sound strange in posting this but it is a genuine feeling that I have lately and it really bothers me. It is just such a thankless job. The parents resent us for being able to spend the day with their child and the kids resent us because they want to be with their parents.

I should add that not all my daycare kids scream in the mornings - Just one or two in particular..mostly the ones who appear to be spoiled rotten at home.

It's just that lately it is hard to spend all day caring for them to the best of my ability knowing that they would rather be at home.

I often wonder if it is an indication that I am no longer a good child care provider....maybe they are getting the vibe that I am just not feeling daycare anymore. I don't know. Am I alone in feeling this way?

Don't take it personally. If a daycare child said that they didn't love me or loved their mom more I'd say "Well that is good. You should love your mom more. She is your mom." Then I'd ask her things like "What is your favorite thing to do with your mom?" or other questions about life with mom. I would just encourage the mom talk as they are just missing them.

If they said they were not picking flowers for me but for their mom I'd just say "Well I think she will love them. Maybe I'll pick one for myself. Let's go put them in some water, ok?" Something like that.

Laurel

[Cat Herder]

It would make me so sad to think they are getting that vibe from me since I try so hard to hide it and treat them all like my own. But it is not altogether unlikely because nothing else has changed other than my little guy starting kinder this year...

I would never want a child to feel that he is not wanted here....

Oh, I doubt they feel that way at all..... :hug:

I'd bet they have learned how badly you want them to feel wanted and use it to play you. lovethis

You, my dear, are a marshmallow of love. It is obvious in every one of your posts...

Remember your daughters letter was just a few months ago... you are primed and fine tuned to watch for every perceived slight the kids may feel. Hypervigilent to be perfect.

Give yourself a break. :hug: You are awesome.

[TwinKristi]

Could it be the parents sobotaging dropoff? Like "who do you love more, me or Miss S?" Some parents are weird and jealous like that.

[Soccermom]

I am beginning to really come to the realization that this industry is super difficult for a soft hearted, worry wart, people pleaser LOL

[daycarediva]

Don't take it personally. If a daycare child said that they didn't love me or loved their mom more I'd say "Well that is good. You should love your mom more. She is your mom." Then I'd ask her things like "What is your favorite thing to do with your mom?" or other questions about life with mom. I would just encourage the mom talk as they are just missing them.

If they said they were not picking flowers for me but for their mom I'd just say "Well I think she will love them. Maybe I'll pick one for myself. Let's go put them in some water, ok?" Something like that.

Laurel

Yup. I would encourage that relationship.

I would also encourage more polite-ness.

Here we say "We love Mommy and school, too."

Maybe the kids are feeling like if they say they love you, it will hurt their Mom, or mean they don't love their parents. Growing independence at play!

My K dcg kept telling me she doesn't like her teacher, we talked and talked, and neither her parents or I could figure out a why. FINALLY she said "I don't want to go to school. I love you more than school." to me when she hugged me goodbye when the bus arrived. AHA! Lightbulb moment! She's safe, secure and confident in her place here. School is new, and she's less confident there about her new found independence. Dcg got told- It's FINE to LOVE your parents, LOVE me and LOVE your teacher, too! We all sure do love you. She pulled back, smiled soooo big and ran to the bus. Nobody has heard her say she doesn't like school/teacher again.

[CraftyMom]

Could it be the parents sobotaging dropoff? Like "who do you love more, me or Miss S?" Some parents are weird and jealous like that.

This was my first thought. Jealous parents who wish they could spend more time with their kids, worried that they love you more. So they are instilling into their kids to make sure to love mommy more

Just a thought, are the parents friends outside of daycare? Weird that it's 2 at the same time

[KidGrind]

I am immune to the drop off drama.

During interview I go over my drop off policy. Then during contract signing I go over it again.

Then when I see the drama happening I say, “…I don’t have time for Titanic goodbyes. No one is stuck in the ocean and you two can reunite at pick-up.”

As far as the, “I don’t love you. I love my mommy more.”

I would respond with, “Well it alright that you don’t love me. I understand. I love my mommy more too.” I am sorry to read your feeling are hurt.

[e.j.]

Don't take it personally. If a daycare child said that they didn't love me or loved their mom more I'd say "Well that is good. You should love your mom more. She is your mom." Then I'd ask her things like "What is your favorite thing to do with your mom?" or other questions about life with mom. I would just encourage the mom talk as they are just missing them.

If they said they were not picking flowers for me but for their mom I'd just say "Well I think she will love them. Maybe I'll pick one for myself. Let's go put them in some water, ok?" Something like that.

Laurel

Yup. I would encourage that relationship.
Maybe the kids are feeling like if they say they love you, it will hurt their Mom, or mean they don't love their parents. Growing independence at play!

I would handle the situation in the same way Laurel suggested for the very reason daycarediva mentioned. Kids at that age don't always get that there's plenty of love to go around and may be feeling as though they need to prove they love mom best. The screamers I've had tend to be kids that love being in day care once they're here and settled. They just have a hard time separating from mom or dad. Once the parent leaves, they begin to settle until they eventually stop and get on with their day. I try not to take it personally, although it can be hard sometimes.:hug:

[MissAnn]

Kids are like cats sometimes. If they sense that you are trying to hard they want nothing to do with you. Try backing off a bit and let them come to you.

Yes! I had one who would tell me she loves her mom all day long. She didn't say she didn't love me.....but the look on her face told me just that! It hurt my feelings and she knew it. It was ammunition! When I quit "caring" she quit.....except on her last day she wouldn't give me a Hug. She said no thanks!!!!! Well Lo and behold......got a text from her mom yesterday....she misses me and wants to come visit!