What Would You Do......Opinions Please!

[caregiver]

I did term today, it was not well received at all, which is to be expected. I said Friday would be my last day and they ended it today. Talked to my license rep beforehand and she told me that if I thought that this situation would escalate at any time with this dcb, that it would be best to term. She supported my decision,which really made me feel I was doing the right thing.
This dcm just doesn't get it, she kept telling me I was overreacting and that it is just a little boy making up stories. But what she doesn't get is that if he makes this up now at only 4 yrs old, what could he possibly make up next and to whom and would they believe that it was just a little boy making things up. I am not willing to put myself or family in a situation like this as it could possibly turn my life upside down,all because a little boy felt he had to make up things and how do you prove your innocence if the wrong person heard this and did not know he was fibbing.
Well, I got the whole I'm putting her in a bad situation as now she has no daycare and no one to drive him to preschool,which I was doing. She doesn't want to think that her son put her in this situation by fibbing and to myself & my husband, this is a serious issue that this child is doing this at this age and attacking my husband,who he doesn't hardly know or see when he is here is not something that can be dismissed easily as he is just a kid making up stories.
I do feel bad for the parents as I did put them in a bad situation for daycare,but the child is a lair and they need to deal with this before it gets out of hand and really hurts somebody.
I know I did the right thing in terming and hopefully the parents will realize that their son needs help of some kind. He is a very manipulative child with behavioral issues that need to be dealt with before it gets out of hand.

[SSWonders]

I support you 100% in looking out for you and your families best interests. I have been in this situation and it did turn my life upside down and caused a lot or turmoil in our lives for nothing. And I might add that this also was a four year old little boy. You just can't take the risk. You did the right thing.

[DaveA]

happyfacehappyfacehappyface

Never fun terminating, but you have to look out for yourself first.

[SquirrellyMama]

I did term today, it was not well received at all, which is to be expected. I said Friday would be my last day and they ended it today. Talked to my license rep beforehand and she told me that if I thought that this situation would escalate at any time with this dcb, that it would be best to term. She supported my decision,which really made me feel I was doing the right thing.
This dcm just doesn't get it, she kept telling me I was overreacting and that it is just a little boy making up stories. But what she doesn't get is that if he makes this up now at only 4 yrs old, what could he possibly make up next and to whom and would they believe that it was just a little boy making things up. I am not willing to put myself or family in a situation like this as it could possibly turn my life upside down,all because a little boy felt he had to make up things and how do you prove your innocence if the wrong person heard this and did not know he was fibbing.
Well, I got the whole I'm putting her in a bad situation as now she has no daycare and no one to drive him to preschool,which I was doing. She doesn't want to think that her son put her in this situation by fibbing and to myself & my husband, this is a serious issue that this child is doing this at this age and attacking my husband,who he doesn't hardly know or see when he is here is not something that can be dismissed easily as he is just a kid making up stories.
I do feel bad for the parents as I did put them in a bad situation for daycare,but the child is a lair and they need to deal with this before it gets out of hand and really hurts somebody.
I know I did the right thing in terming and hopefully the parents will realize that their son needs help of some kind. He is a very manipulative child with behavioral issues that need to be dealt with before it gets out of hand.

Nope, you didn't put them in a bad spot. Their child put them in the bad spot. You did the right thing.

Kelly

[Blackcat31]

I did term today, it was not well received at all, which is to be expected. I said Friday would be my last day and they ended it today. Talked to my license rep beforehand and she told me that if I thought that this situation would escalate at any time with this dcb, that it would be best to term. She supported my decision,which really made me feel I was doing the right thing.
This dcm just doesn't get it, she kept telling me I was overreacting and that it is just a little boy making up stories. But what she doesn't get is that if he makes this up now at only 4 yrs old, what could he possibly make up next and to whom and would they believe that it was just a little boy making things up. I am not willing to put myself or family in a situation like this as it could possibly turn my life upside down,all because a little boy felt he had to make up things and how do you prove your innocence if the wrong person heard this and did not know he was fibbing.
Well, I got the whole I'm putting her in a bad situation as now she has no daycare and no one to drive him to preschool,which I was doing. She doesn't want to think that her son put her in this situation by fibbing and to myself & my husband, this is a serious issue that this child is doing this at this age and attacking my husband,who he doesn't hardly know or see when he is here is not something that can be dismissed easily as he is just a kid making up stories.
I do feel bad for the parents as I did put them in a bad situation for daycare,but the child is a lair and they need to deal with this before it gets out of hand and really hurts somebody.
I know I did the right thing in terming and hopefully the parents will realize that their son needs help of some kind. He is a very manipulative child with behavioral issues that need to be dealt with before it gets out of hand.

Let's hope this (being termed) was a wake up call to them because if it wasn't this will not be the last time they find themselves in this type of situation.

Care giver, you did the right thing. You gotta look out for YOU.

[TheGoodLife]

Nope, you didn't put them in a bad spot. Their child put them in the bad spot. You did the right thing.

Kelly

This is exactly what I was thinking when I ready that- they are in a bad spot, but not due to you. You are being responsible and protecting your business and family! Hope everything is over with and she doesn't try to drag it out anymore.

[daycarediva]

I also concur that you did the right thing. You aren't putting them in a tight spot, they have done that themselves. They should have nipped these tall tales/lies in the bud immediately.

[CraftyMom]

Good for you!

I have never had this happen, but have run through it in my head, knowing how kids can be. I decided I would definitely term effective immediately if this type of thing happens here.

So what did your husband say? He must know about it now?

[momtomany74]

Protecting your family and business should always come before the fear of putting a daycare family in a bad spot. Too bad the mom can't see the situation for what it really is. You did the right thing and I'm sure your hubby is happy you have his back.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

So surprised this thread is on here, after one dcm dropped off this morning!

DCG 20mo has been here only about a month. This morning, dcm asks me about a mark on her side. It is not small, and it is really weird looking - almost like a lash mark or something??

Well, it most definitely did not happen here, and it was not on her yesterday. It is low enough and large enough that I would have seen it at diaper changes.

I told dcm that, and decided to send her this e-mail today:

I wanted to inform you of the procedure that I follow regarding any accidents or incidents that occur in my childcare. Any time any child receives any injury, no matter how minor, while in my care, an incident report (created by the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services) is filled out immediately following any first aid is administered. One copy I keep on file here, and one copy is sent home that same day. I have never, in 12 years plus, sent a child home with an unexplained boo-boo.

Now that you know my procedure, I do hope that you can trust that DCG will never have an unexplained mark on her that occurred at my house. Voicing doubt about how or whether an injury occurred with me potentially places my program in serious jeopardy. In order to protect myself, our conversation this morning has been documented. I will also have to look DCG's body over at drop-off and pick-up every day, in you or DCD's presence, noting the location and description of any marks on her body, until I feel that mutual trust has been achieved.


I used a few lines from this thread (thank you, poster!). Would you change anything?

[Dilley Beans]

Unfortunately kids lying can be very damaging in today's world. People used to dismiss children, now that isn't right, but today everything they say is scrutinized. What if he had said anything else about your husband. If he watched the wrong thing on tv he could have replaced "picked up" with any number or inappropriate words and your entire family would have their world turned upside down. You did the right thing here, in today's world we have to be careful and CYOA. In the long run the DCPs will understand, you know after another provider or 2 terms him.

[sharlan]

We all know how I feel about children lying. I would have also termed.

What this mother does not realize is that there are way too many chiefs for one little Indian. You have 3 1/2 days, a preschool has him 3 1/2 days, and another preschool has him 2 days. There is no consistency for him, every day is a different situation.

[crazydaycarelady]

I don't think I keep him on. The lies he may tell could destroy not only one's business, but put one's family in complete turmoil. What he is doing and the damage his words can inflict are serious.

This! and I speak from experience! I once had a 6yo fibber. The last straw was when he told his dad that my son cut his pants with a knife! Turns out he didn't want to get into trouble for ripping his pants himself. My son wasn't even hoe that day either!

Bub-Bye! I was not willing to keep that kid and open myself or my family up to other accusations even though they begged me to keep him.

[Thriftylady]

You totally did the right thing. I speak from experience with a story I am not ready to tell here yet, just haven't been here long enough and it is a story I don't tell just everyone. But you should trust your gut on this, because a child who tells lies like this can ruin you. Trust me, I know.

[caregiver]

Thanks everyone for your support with this situation! I know I did the right thing and feel in my heart it was the right way to go. Your all right, in this day and age, you do have to protect yourself and family when this kind of situation comes up.
I know I made them mad, but what bother's me is that this Mom just does not get the seriousness of her son telling these fibs and how it can effect others. She is just looking at it from her side and not a providers side. She just kept insisting I was making too much of it as it was just a little boy making up stories, but stories can hurt others and reputations.
Hope that this is a wake up call for them about their son and his behavior, but I highly doubt that they even think he is a problem. If any of you ever have this situation arise, please use your gut feeling and term.