Separation Advice

[Unregistered]

I have this baby I keep who is 10 1/2 months old. I love her to pieces but she has real separation anxiety and it isn't with mom, it's with me! The only way I can get lunch and such done sometimes is to put her in the swing. It always calms her down. She literally follows me crying and throwing fits the whole time she is here. She wants to be held 24/7 and then it's up and down. I sit in the playroom with the kids and she is in my lap, off my lap, in my lap and off my lap. If I so much as make a move to adjust my body she comes unglued and thinks I'm leaving. Right now she is swinging and and as content as can be, just swinging and talking. Thankfully she can still swing as she is rather small and mine swings side to side which she prefers. I often feed her first while I preparing the food for others but when she's done eating, UGH!

Mom and dad are awesome first time parents and mom has said she has the same trouble at home. We finally have her sleeping well both at home and my house too. She loved to sleep with her parents (who wouldn't) and here would sometimes not nap unless being held. Here her naps were restless and not nearly long enough. Now I can just lay her down and within 5 or 10 minutes she is asleep. She's been doing great sleeping in her crib too!

Routine has helped since school as started. But wow, I can't have her standing holding my shoulder or arm while I change poopy diapers screaming and crying the whole time. She also often doesn't even want mom. I know this has to be a phase and I hope it doesn't last long cause seriously some days I need earplugs. LOL

[daycare]

I have this baby I keep who is 10 1/2 months old. I love her to pieces but she has real separation anxiety and it isn't with mom, it's with me! The only way I can get lunch and such done sometimes is to put her in the swing. It always calms her down. She literally follows me crying and throwing fits the whole time she is here. She wants to be held 24/7 and then it's up and down. I sit in the playroom with the kids and she is in my lap, off my lap, in my lap and off my lap. If I so much as make a move to adjust my body she comes unglued and thinks I'm leaving. Right now she is swinging and and as content as can be, just swinging and talking. Thankfully she can still swing as she is rather small and mine swings side to side which she prefers. I often feed her first while I preparing the food for others but when she's done eating, UGH!

Mom and dad are awesome first time parents and mom has said she has the same trouble at home. We finally have her sleeping well both at home and my house too. She loved to sleep with her parents (who wouldn't) and here would sometimes not nap unless being held. Here her naps were restless and not nearly long enough. Now I can just lay her down and within 5 or 10 minutes she is asleep. She's been doing great sleeping in her crib too!

Routine has helped since school as started. But wow, I can't have her standing holding my shoulder or arm while I change poopy diapers screaming and crying the whole time. She also often doesn't even want mom. I know this has to be a phase and I hope it doesn't last long cause seriously some days I need earplugs. LOL

how long has this child been with you? how many days does she attend?

[Unregistered]

Five days a week and I've had her since she was 8 weeks!

[Blackcat31]

Five days a week and I've had her since she was 8 weeks!

Goodness... and she has been like that since she first started?

I wish I had advice for you but honestly I don't.
I just know I would NEVER have been able to keep a child that was that needy for so long. I just couldn't physically or mentally mange it.

Sorry you are dealing with this. :hug:

[Unregistered]

She hasn't been needy the whole time. I really have noticed it in the last month or so. Yes, it wears on you. I wondered if it had to do with me keeping another little baby for a a while but I don't keep that child any longer. Or maybe sleeping in her own crib now maybe she feels she needs some extra cuddle time.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had a new-to -daycare 10 month old who screened screamed screamed for two months if he wasn't being held. It was very loud, angry cries. I was at the end of my rope. He just couldn't self soothe at all. He did get used to the routine and learned to walk. Seems like the pre-walking phase is very frustrating for Littles at this age. Combine that with pre-talking frustration, bottle/breast/binky weaning, teething, separation anxiety, etc, and you could have one unhappy baby. I have no real advice, except maintain routine, provide calm, smiles and soothing words and just hang on for a couple months. My angry little dude is a smiling, happy little pumpkin, thanks to overcoming gravity, sippy cups, consistency and routine. :hug:

[lynne]

Im finding that any pre stuff , crawling,walking,talking,eating on their own,all that stuff. Kids act out more..I try to keep that in mind so it doesn't drive me crazy.....LOL!

[SignMeUp]

I find that any big step toward independence tends to bring some extra dependence in another area.

[coolconfidentme]

When you hold her, is she facing you or away? When I have a level 5 Klingon, I tend to hold them facing away from me & lower to the ground. When they want to sit in my lap it's a quick hug/love'n & I turn them around, sit them on the ground or stand facing away from me & toward the others. Changing diapers is the same. I carry them facing away & lower to the ground. They want to be up so I gradually train them to be down. It's worked here, maybe it would work there. Good luck.