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I either walk or drive to take or pick up my dcg from preschool. Today was a beautiful day, so I decided to get the kids out and we walked. The 5 kids I walked with did awesome. Two babies in the double stroller a 2 year old holding on, and a 4 and 6 year old walking along side. We have done this many many times before. Nothing new. We get dcg, and as I always do, I re-go over the rules with them for walking together. We get thru the parking lot, get to the field we walk thru and the big kids know that they can run thru the field but stop at the fence and wait for me. We have done it 100 times before, same kids, they ALL know the rules! Well, today, dcg that we picked up gets to the fence, goes around it and takes off running! I am SCREAMING at her to stop. I grab the 2 year old and start RUNNING telling the other kids to stay with me. She doesn't stop. She disappears around the corner and I continue to run. Babies are crying, so is the 2 year old. I am SCREAMING at the top of my lungs for her to stop. We get around the corner and she is ACROSSED the street standing in front of my house! I LOST IT!!! I have NEVER yelled at a dck. Never. I don't yell at my own either. I was LIVID. I screamed at her that it was so very dangerous. I told her she was lying down for the rest of the day. She put everyone's lives in danger. I asked her if she knew the rules. Yes. I asked her if she heard me yelling for her to stop. Yes. I am so pissed. I am trying to decide whether I call parents and tell them what happened or wait until they get here. I am going to tell them that they are going to have to find someone else to take her to and from school. If I can't trust that she will follow the rules after doing this 100 times with no problem, and then just all the sudden break the rules and be completely dangerous/wreckless. What would you do?!?!?
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I think I would get one of those ropes that have the rings for them to hold on to; and make her hold on to that alongside you. Or there are those ropes with handles all along them for them to hold. If she does it again, I would tell the parents you can no longer pick her up from school. -
I would make her stay by you and allow the other kids who followed the rules to continue the routine of running through the field, until you feel you can trust her again!Comment
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I wouldn't try it again, I would tell parents to find other arrangements to get her to and from school. The rope/rings thing would be great, but what would prevent her from just letting go and start running? Nope, something this dangerous I would be done. You have to look out for the rest of the kids too. Wow, just reading this made me angry! I can't believe she did that!
I would wait until pick up to talk to the parents though. By then you will have calmed down a little and can calmly (but firmly) talk to the parents. I tend to trip over my tongue a bit when I'm angry or upset, so that's what I would do anyway.Comment
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Don't call the mom wait until pick up when you have cooled off a bit!
I would stress your fear and not your frustration. This dck needs to hold the corner of your jacket or something when walking home.Comment
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If that happened to me I would write a note on my daily sheets and maybe let them know what happened when they pick up.
I would also make her help me or stand next to me as I push the stroller. If she did it again I would talk to the parents about the problem and explain why it can never happened again and if it does then someone else will need to pick up dcg.Comment
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well I for one wouldnt let her go with the others, she would walk beside me holding my jacket every day for a good long while.Comment
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I had something very similar happen several years ago. Dcg (4 yo), took off leaving me to drag 4 other kids after her. Very long story short, it culminated in me having to run in front of a Mac truck to grab my 2 yo, who was wandering right down the middle of a busy road, while the dcg played in a puddle on the shoulder of the road! I still get so angry when I think about it. Dcg sat in timeout for the rest of the day, and my son (who took off after her) got a spanking and spent the rest of the day in his room. I was seething! And dc mom laughed it off!
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Anyway, I know exactly how you feel, and all I can say is make sure your dc mom knows exactly how dangerous this behaviour is. I'd also probably make them find another way to get back from preschool, like a pp said. But whatever happens, I would definitely NOT trust this dcg again!Comment
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Yep, she is in timeout for the rest of the day. I don't care what anyone thinks of that, had it been MY child, she would have gotten a couple swats on the butt! For SURE! I am still mad. I didn't call. But mom is going to get the whole story when she gets here. Good thing is, mom and dad are super supportive, and back me 100%. Whatever punishment I give here, they carry over there and then some. She knows she is in trouble. I am beginning to think there is something wrong with her. Like mentally. She is super smart, very articulate, but she is kind of scary. She laughs when she gets in trouble. She likes it. It is strange. And her parents are fantastic. Very on top of it, and loving and involved. But they have noticed some scary things too. I honestly think she needs to be seen by a therapist of some kind. But I will let the parents come to that conclusion. I am so upset. There is no way I will attempt to walk to pick her up again. But I refuse to load all the babies day in and day out in the van to go get her either. So they are going to have to arrange for one of the other parents to pick up and drop off. I asked the dcg why she did it and she said, "Because I wanted to." So, no impulse control?! UGH.......I had something very similar happen several years ago. Dcg (4 yo), took off leaving me to drag 4 other kids after her. Very long story short, it culminated in me having to run in front of a Mac truck to grab my 2 yo, who was wandering right down the middle of a busy road, while the dcg played in a puddle on the shoulder of the road! I still get so angry when I think about it. Dcg sat in timeout for the rest of the day, and my son (who took off after her) got a spanking and spent the rest of the day in his room. I was seething! And dc mom laughed it off!.
Anyway, I know exactly how you feel, and all I can say is make sure your dc mom knows exactly how dangerous this behaviour is. I'd also probably make them find another way to get back from preschool, like a pp said. But whatever happens, I would definitely NOT trust this dcg again!Comment
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Not cool. And, I'd be mad too.
That being said, if the parents are super supportive, I wouldn't put them in the position of having to make other arrangements for preschool transport. Since you have the ability to drive to/from, I would just do that from now on.Comment
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Here is what I am struggling with now, two hours after the incident, I feel so not in control. I felt so confident that I had things under control. In an instant, this one child disrupted all of that and I don't know if I have ever been so scare and angry. I can't imagine what I would have done if someone had gotten hurt. My confidence is shaken. The kids had ALWAYS listened so well, and I never had a problem. We always walk on the nice days. We have probably walked 50 days since the end of August. Same routine, every single time. So why now? I should share another story about this dcg. She came one morning with a little red mark below her chin. She said something about having vaseline for her lips. I said, ahh, and do you have an dry spot below your lip? Then the girl shows me this thing on the inside of her lip that looked like a canker sore. I say, ouch, canker sores hurt. Mom says, No, that is where she bit thru her lip falling down the stairs. I say, Oh sweetie! Are your stairs carpeted? (aimed that last bit towards mom) She looked at me shocked and says, "She fell down the stairs here...?" Huh? No. I mean, if she had fallen down the stairs here, she would have screamed, there would have been blood, the whole neighborhood would have heard here. So when I asked her later what happened and her story changed. When my daughter got home from school she asked her what happened and it changed again. So dc mom and I concluded that SOMEWHERE she hurt herself doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, and didn't tell anyone she got hurt because she knew she would be in trouble. Wow.Comment
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Here is the other thread on Walking Ropes: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23251
I feel for you on that one. My son when that age was told to wait until I had locked the car after parking it. He bolted out of sight and I ran as to where he was before. I then see him running across the sidewalk and a car is coming up the street and he was going to run right in front of it. I never ran so fast in my life and just barely grabbed him by the back of his hair as he was about to cross the street. He would have been run over. I have no idea why he did that. You never forget it.Last edited by Michael; 12-10-2010, 03:02 PM.Comment
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I say tether. Put a backpack on her under a jacket and tether her to you by hooking it to the pack. I say walk still just take away her freedom. I'm sure the others love the walkComment
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Oh-my-gosh. I'm so sorry.
Please start documenting this child. In writing. Not to minimize your current scare, but I'm personally more scared by your new comment that she changed her story. A child who has that inclination can get a provider is more trouble than you can ever dig out of. Document that you talked to the parents about incidents like this.
And about today, be careful how you talk to parents. Make sure they know you were in control, but the child took off. You could easily end up with a complaint about this if the parents turned on you. Cover yourself.Comment
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I really have no worries about this with the parents. None at all. Not to sound naive. They are neighbors to my parents, I have known them for years, before the kids. The dad picked up and hugged me and told me I was wonderful and that she is just hard and that they have nothing but the ut-most confidence in me. And a few minutes ago, mom dropped by with a bottle of my favorite wine, and told me that they loved me and appreciate me. I cried. They really are sweet, and we really are on the same page!!Comment
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