Advise needed ASAP!!!!

[blueskiesbutterflies]

I have a child in my family daycare who has just moved from Columbia with her parents. I am sure a lot of you have heard of Virginia Tech? Well, dcd has gotten in there and started this fall. The family has not been in the country before and has only been here going on 3 weeks. There daughter who is adorable knows very little english so that is why she is in daycare. I know she is scared but I am going nuts!!!

First, mom sends a bookbag stuffed with all kinds of stuff in it that is not needed. She even sends a container of infant cereal and 3 bottles for this girl going on 3! The little girl will either sit in your lap or the floor and cry and cry and cry with no tears at all. She does not eat nor drink all day!

We go outside she is scared, we come in and she cries, we sing she cries, we dance she cries, we eat lunch she cries, we TRY to do our program and she cries!!!!! I put on spanish songs and storeis on the computer and it will get her attention but she cries. I cannot sit around holding her all day due to having an infant. The other kids needs love too.

Any advise?

[Cradle2crayons]

I have a child in my family daycare who has just moved from Columbia with her parents. I am sure a lot of you have heard of Virginia Tech? Well, dcd has gotten in there and started this fall. The family has not been in the country before and has only been here going on 3 weeks. There daughter who is adorable knows very little english so that is why she is in daycare. I know she is scared but I am going nuts!!!

First, mom sends a bookbag stuffed with all kinds of stuff in it that is not needed. She even sends a container of infant cereal and 3 bottles for this girl going on 3! The little girl will either sit in your lap or the floor and cry and cry and cry with no tears at all. She does not eat nor drink all day!

We go outside she is scared, we come in and she cries, we sing she cries, we dance she cries, we eat lunch she cries, we TRY to do our program and she cries!!!!! I put on spanish songs and storeis on the computer and it will get her attention but she cries. I cannot sit around holding her all day due to having an infant. The other kids needs love too.

Any advise?

I would ask mom if she's doing the same at home. If not, have mom bring comfort things from home to help the transition. Ask mom some words for certain basic things. You could look spanish basic things up online but they may use slang words for certain things. I'd find out about her routine at home and things she likes to do.

[blueskiesbutterflies]

She loves painting but tires of it after about 5 min. I recomended a pic of mom and dad and her. I use an app on my phone to translate and talk to her. Her parents have given me a list of words she uses and knows. My goodness I think no child could be able to cry like this!!! She is use to being held like an infant and feed a bottle. Of course, I did try but I do have an infant and a 14 month old I must attend too as well. She is not an infant but wants to held, carried, fed, and rocked. I do not eliminate all the attention but I cannot just give her attention all the time. Its not fair to the other kids.

She cries for MAMA...only child, mom never has worked..she never been in daycare so see its a trial all around.

I just am at a lost with what to do...

[blueskiesbutterflies]

forgot to mention she has a blanket that is wrapped all around her as well all day long.

[Thriftylady]

Just another suggestion, could mom spend an hour or so a week with you and help teach you some of the language? I bet it would help the little one to see mom there with you some, and it would help you learn to communicate with her better.

[SilverSabre25]

Well, I know for one thing you are up against a big cultural divide here. I believe that Colombia is one of the places where children are "babied" (in our definition) for a "long" (in our definition) time. So, major culture shock. Add into it the stress of moving countries and being thrust into a new language and no wonder she's crying!

It may be that your program is not the best fit for her. It seems to me that a bi-lingual center/program would be better. But if that isn't an option at this time, then I think what you are doing is the right thing. It will just take time.

[craftymissbeth]

IMO, this is no different than any other child in our care. Regardless of the language barrier, cultural differences, moving to a new country, etc. this child is not prepared for group care. She would not fit in my program unless her parents stopped treating her like an infant.

If I understood correctly, she's only in daycare so that she can learn English? IMO, that should start at home. I see that in Blacksburg at the Virginia Tech YMCA, they offer free ESL classes for adults (free child care during classes where I'm sure the caregivers are bilingual) as well as multicultural classes for women to get to know others in the area (free Childcare there also).

She's being set up for a hard failure, IMO...
1. She's just experienced moving to a new country
2. She's been placed in a daycare that does not speak her native language (imagine being thrown into an environment as a 2 year old where everyone speaks some alien language. Scary!)
3. Your environment is vastly different than how she is raised.

[hope]

That is a lot of adjustment for a little kid! If the mom is not working I would suggest that their money is better spent on a language tutor or mommy and me type classes. The child needs to have a sense of home and understanding before she can be expected to work her way into group care. Not sure this is the advice you are looking for but I think it is the best for the child.

[melilley]

I once had a child who was adopted and from Colombia. She was an older infant when she came into the infant room that I worked in (I worked in a center at the time). She didn't know any English and cried all day.
I felt bad for her, but I had other infants in my room who also needed care. I just held her when I could and always talked to her to reassure her that she was ok being there. She wouldn't eat at first either and all I could do was offer.
It took a couple of months, but eventually she got comfortable being around me and the other children. Of course, they pulled as soon as this happened, but dcm gave me nice compliments when they left.

I've also had a couple of other children who didn't know English, through the years working in a center. Yes, it was hard at first, but it seems (from what I remember) that the older children adjusted fairly quickly and surprisingly learned English fairly quickly.

BUT that was when I worked in a center and we had other teachers there to help. I don't know that I could do it alone in my home dc.

[Heidi]

I had a little boy from Puerto Rico join my program years ago. He hadn't seen his mom in 3 months. The day after he arrived, he started daycare.

He followed my assistant around for about 4 weeks, just whining. Not screaming, just weehehehehehehe every waking moment. We did what we could to reassure him, involve him. Then, one day, he just stopped and he was fine. He was about 15 months old, though, not 3.

I moved here at the age of 3 (and 4 months) from Germany. I didn't speak any English either. My niece (now 24) did this also at the same age. It took both of us a couple months to learn English. A couple months! Children that age are like sponges.

I personally would put her blanket in her cubby for nap time, and maybe show her to go give it a hug periodically. Letting her wander about with it all day is not helping.

Lots of hugs, stroke her hair, comfort, but do NOT pick her up. Sit on the floor with her next to you (not on you), and show her a toy and how it works. Say "doll" or "car" or "blocks", then nudge her a bit to try it.

Point at a million and one things and show her the words. table, chair, rug, shelf. If you have other talkers, ask them to help teach her. Make it a game.

As soon as she has the words and can feel comfort from your presence, she will be fine. Don't give up, and if possible, don't term her. That's just going to prolong it.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I had a child from Honduras start here with no english this year at 2.5. She had been with Grandma in Honduras and came to live with Mom and Stepdad here. It took her 7ish weeks to adjust. It was a long, long transition for all of us. She had a high pitched scream cry that couldn't be soothed regardless of what was done. Eventually, I had her sit and read books and ANY time she would stop I would excitedly get her up to play. That is how we finally got it to end.

TIME is your friend here. Continue doing what you're doing, if you want to keep this family.

My little has been here about 5 months now and she is doing GREAT. She speaks sentences in english now, but also still uses spanish often. We have upped the spanish portion of our program and ALL of the children have greatly enjoyed that. Now, the only time I don't understand her is if she is super excited and begins speaking rapidly in spanish. Then I shrug and say HUH?

[Heidi]

I had a child from Honduras start here with no english this year at 2.5. She had been with Grandma in Honduras and came to live with Mom and Stepdad here. It took her 7ish weeks to adjust. It was a long, long transition for all of us. She had a high pitched scream cry that couldn't be soothed regardless of what was done. Eventually, I had her sit and read books and ANY time she would stop I would excitedly get her up to play. That is how we finally got it to end.

TIME is your friend here. Continue doing what you're doing, if you want to keep this family.

My little has been here about 5 months now and she is doing GREAT. She speaks sentences in english now, but also still uses spanish often. We have upped the spanish portion of our program and ALL of the children have greatly enjoyed that. Now, the only time I don't understand her is if she is super excited and begins speaking rapidly in spanish. Then I shrug and say HUH?

Maybe you could make her a special comfy spot with her blanket, a few stuffed animals, some books, etc? Her own special "crying spot" that is NOT a punishment. Stop in often to visit with her, and reassure her, though. It's not to isolate her; it's to comfort her.

She's probably so scared. Poor thing!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I agree. She probably IS so scared. Mine looked absolutely terrified but unfortunately snuggling made it ten times worse because I was a STRANGER!