The Ones That Think You Work For Them

[crazydaycarelady]

Every now and then you get the dcparent who thinks you work for them. I've got one! New dcd seems to feel this way. He told me "We're getting a new schedule, we'll give you a rundown on Tuesday." Of course I have room for the baby, and want to make money, so I will be agreeable to them picking up extra days, but I need to be asked, not told. Dcm is good and I mostly deal with her but this is the 2nd or 3rd time dcd has acted like I am his employee.

I am like George Costanza when it comes to good replies - I never think of anything good to say until after the fact!

[Thriftylady]

Start writing down your replies when you do think of them, that way you will have one ready next time .

[e.j.]

He told me "We're getting a new schedule, we'll give you a rundown on Tuesday."

I would have said, "That fine. I'll take a look at it then and let you know if I can accommodate any of the changes you want to make." (Whether I knew I had the availability or not!)

[Sugar Magnolia]

I would have said, "That fine. I'll take a look at it then and let you know if I can accommodate any of the changes you want to make." (Whether I knew I had the availability or not!)

EJ hit the nail on the head! Totally agree on this wording.

[BrooklynM]

Every now and then you get the dcparent who thinks you work for them. I've got one! New dcd seems to feel this way. He told me "We're getting a new schedule, we'll give you a rundown on Tuesday." Of course I have room for the baby, and want to make money, so I will be agreeable to them picking up extra days, but I need to be asked, not told. Dcm is good and I mostly deal with her but this is the 2nd or 3rd time dcd has acted like I am his employee.

I am like George Costanza when it comes to good replies - I never think of anything good to say until after the fact!

OMG, I'm sooo George Costanza too! HAHA! Remember the episode where he always left the room on a good note? HA! Seinfeld is seriously my all time favorite show. I have them all on DVD and I still watch them when they are on TV. It's a major stress reliever for me

I had a parent like this, well I still have them as a parent, but changed their way of thinking. She handed me a huge list of times and things to do, like 10:15am- check diaper, 10:35, Snack, etc. I let her know I check all of the kids diapers every hour, or when I smell one, then I check them all and I have my own feeding schedule. I let her know that it's good for her son to get used to routines that may be a little different than home because the rest of his life he will have to go along with school or work schedules and have to accommodate them. I explained that to me the hardest thing about parenting my own kids is realizing that I'm preparing them for adulthood, not for keeping them babies (although I may always think of them that way). This parent is STRONG headed, but she really understood and backed off.

Sometimes it's really how you say it and if you somehow personalize it with your experiences that drives the point across.

[KidGrind]

Every now and then you get the dcparent who thinks you work for them. I've got one! New dcd seems to feel this way. He told me "We're getting a new schedule, we'll give you a rundown on Tuesday." Of course I have room for the baby, and want to make money, so I will be agreeable to them picking up extra days, but I need to be asked, not told. Dcm is good and I mostly deal with her but this is the 2nd or 3rd time dcd has acted like I am his employee.

I am like George Costanza when it comes to good replies - I never think of anything good to say until after the fact!

“Well I hope it’s a schedule I can accommodate."

[itlw8]

I have three lines everyone should practice.

Sorry that won't work for me.

Let me think about that and get back to you.

and the last one NO.

[NightOwl]

Ej took the words out of my mouth! "Awesome! Tuesday evening, I'll take a look at your requested schedule and see if I have availability. I'll let you know Wednesday morning! Buh bye!"

[grateday]

Not nice

I seem to not get those kind of parents often because when they come here I think they realize that by the way I talk and act it is not going to work out solely in there favor.

I just had an interview with one like that today and I made them frustrated and I am glad I did it. The rules were told to them the second they walked in the door. They are on my time and in my space with children I am responsible for.

I don't want to have those kind of parents. No your kids cannot jump on the couch with there shoes on. And they just walk around the house like they own the place and expect me to get the door for them.

Then they come in here complaining about there old daycare. I am on the old daycare providers side.

Of course the parents were both managers......even worse.

[Meeko]

I lay the groundwork on the phone. If a pushy parents calls demanding a meeting at a certain time, I ALWAYS say no...even if I have nothing else going on. I tell them that I am interviewing other families and I could squeeze them in at tomorrow at blah-blah time.

They have learned straight away that I am in charge of my time, not them and that they are in competition for a place.

I then let them know that I will be continuing to interview families until Friday. I will then decide which child to take from all the applicants.

I use words like "applicant" because it puts ME in charge.

During an interview, I am very friendly, but keep it very business-like. I use phrases like "our policy is..." instead of " I don't do this or that". It's harder for them to question a "company policy" than just "my way" of doing things.

The terminology you use can make all the difference.

[Thriftylady]

I lay the groundwork on the phone. If a pushy parents calls demanding a meeting at a certain time, I ALWAYS say no...even if I have nothing else going on. I tell them that I am interviewing other families and I could squeeze them in at tomorrow at blah-blah time.

They have learned straight away that I am in charge of my time, not them and that they are in competition for a place.

I then let them know that I will be continuing to interview families until Friday. I will then decide which child to take from all the applicants.

I use words like "applicant" because it puts ME in charge.

During an interview, I am very friendly, but keep it very business-like. I use phrases like "our policy is..." instead of " I don't do this or that". It's harder for them to question a "company policy" than just "my way" of doing things.

The terminology you use can make all the difference.

Wow, I am going to borrow some of your wording. I tend to be a pushover and I hate conflict but I can see how just changing some of the wording would put me more in charge!

As far as bad mouthing the last provider I tend to dislike that also. I know there are some bad providers out there, but many times I have found parents do that because they owe money and can't go back or something like that. I also feel like if they will bad mouth the current of past provider, they will go around and do that to me as well.