Can't Work With Special Needs Kids

[daycare]

I can't STAND TEENAGERS AND I have 2 of them...

I am horrible.

[TwinKristi]

I think that we as providers need to be sure we can properly care for any child we take. To me, that means if a child has needs I can't accommodate then I shouldn't accept them into my care. It doesn't matter why I can't properly care for them. It could be age, it could be behavior, it could be maturity, it could be a disability, or the parents inability to pay. I don't see it as discrimination. I see it as me being open and honest enough with myself and parents to say "I can't give your child what he/she needs". There are plenty of other providers who can and will, but no one provider can or should accept all children.

Exactly!!!

[Butter Biskets]

As a mother of a special needs kid, I commend you for knowing that special needs kids is HARD and is not for you!! I wish that all care providers knew their limits. Don't feel bad. No one with any idea of what it's like will judge you. I took care of another special needs child, aside from my own, and I lasted just under two years before I HAD to call it quits for my own mental health; and I don't think that I will ever mix such a severe case with typical kids again.

[Margarete]

not knowing PC words is not that huge of a deal but We also need to think about what we say. Most of us would never allow a child to call another one stupid. But to say a child is slow minded is below calling them extremely stupid. It kinda ranks with the word simple or the R word. I was not trying to be hateful But we need to think first.

And running a gifted only preschool is fine if you can get the clients. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. but name calling should not be one of our strengths.

I have an uncle who was labeled the "R" word. He had some medical issues as a baby which caused some delays. At the time the "R" word was the medically correct terminology, and included a host of different diagnosis today. Politically correct language is always changing. I think most people try to be sensitive, but don't always know the 'correct' language to use, which may vary year to year, and from person to person.

Of my grandfathers children, the "R" one was the only one who graduated high school on time, because he worked hard to do so. The others dropped out to join the military.

[cheerfuldom]

I think it is certainly okay to limit your group. It is important to be honest with parents about what you can and can't handle. For me, I will do some special needs or delayed children but they must be walking and I don't do any medications or treatments here although I will allow therapists to come to my house. I don't do aggressive children at all. I have had some parents try to sneak in severely delayed children as if I wouldnt notice. I have had parents lie about diagnosis and needs. This said, part of the reasons why some providers won't take special needs kids is the parents! They lie and sneak about their kids needs, they don't provide the correct supplies (like trying to potty train a delayed child that is clearly not ready and then refusing to provide diapers), they dont work with therapists well, etc. I can't handle parents that just toss a child into a setting that is clearly not the right fit. I have a special needs brother as well as a delayed child of my own and so I know it is not easy.

I believe the current PC word is "intellectual disability" although I have also heard "mentally challenged or mentally disabled". When my brother was growing up, they did say things like "slow minded" as well as the general term "mentally handicapped".

[NightOwl]

Another I've heard in recent years is differently-abled.

[grateday]

Special Needs

All I have ever known from day one of running daycare are those with special needs it was not untill people moved, or transitioned out of childcare that I realized I had been providing childcare to special needs children. It wasn't until I wanted to rip my hair out of my head and I started taking more classes and educating myself that it was possible.

Is it for everyone, no? I am not a type A kind of person, I am a flexible person, I have a big heart, and a lot of patience. Does every kind of parent want that kind of provider.........No

Some parents dislike me the minute that I start talking, I can tell they are looking for a more rigid structure and I don't have that because of special needs.

The needs range from medical disabilities, to ADHD, sesory processing, and autism spectrum.

I have had to adapt so much of how I do things that a 'typical' childcare/preschool would not work.

Mixed ages is a problem for me. I can handle mostly 9mo-4yrs. Then 5 and 6 years old a few hours is all. But special needs, once I get a routine that works for the both of us, it works out. The biggest thing is a love to see that time when things do change and when there are moments between the two of you and between others.

Sometimes a special needs child is so much better at handling certain things than a typical child can in some areas and that is one of the most amazing things I see in them. They are special and you will find that something if you look hard enough it is were they shine as an individual and it is your key to working with them.

[Unregistered]

I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
and no one is picking on him. Example of when someone gets seriously offended and doesn't need to be: The word abortion (means to stop) A woman who has a miscarriage experiences an abortion. A mission in the air is aborted upon command of a general. ALL mean the same thing, and yet everyone gets their arms up in air over a WORD that really has ONE meaning. "To Stop"

Special-Needs could turn into a 'bad word', learning disabled can, all kinds of PC words turn
bad. It's up to us not to feel offended or hurt by what other people are trying to express as long as they are not doing it maliciously, because if we didn't (myself included) I would be offended ALL the time. My son DOES have special needs. That's a fact and not a bad thing. NOT everyone wants to handle him. Do I think they're bad? NOPE!!!! I think that they are honest and I'd rather a DCP tell me "I don't have the capacity to help with these things" rather than have someone tell me they're willing to work with me only to feel resentful, burnt out, overwhelmed, scared, unsure or whatever else. Even if it IS only a preference, that's not a bad thing. I'd rather someone not take my child than to do so, and then back out later. It is PRUDENT that he has consistency.

If someone really doesn't want to do a job, they don't stay in that job or maybe they just don't do the job as well as they could; child care is no exception. Quality of work IS affected by how you feel, no matter how hard you try to stifle it, it will eventually come up.

Everyone, EVERYONE, really has special needs. It is a matter of WHAT special needs a person has and whether or not another person is able to accomodate to the BEST of their ability. You are saying you ARE NOT able to do so...therefore I wouldn't try.

[Mom o Col]

Another I've heard in recent years is differently-abled.

I like this one.

[e.j.]

I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
and no one is picking on him. Example of when someone gets seriously offended and doesn't need to be: The word abortion (means to stop) A woman who has a miscarriage experiences an abortion. A mission in the air is aborted upon command of a general. ALL mean the same thing, and yet everyone gets their arms up in air over a WORD that really has ONE meaning. "To Stop"

Special-Needs could turn into a 'bad word', learning disabled can, all kinds of PC words turn
bad. It's up to us not to feel offended or hurt by what other people are trying to express as long as they are not doing it maliciously, because if we didn't (myself included) I would be offended ALL the time. My son DOES have special needs. That's a fact and not a bad thing. NOT everyone wants to handle him. Do I think they're bad? NOPE!!!! I think that they are honest and I'd rather a DCP tell me "I don't have the capacity to help with these things" rather than have someone tell me they're willing to work with me only to feel resentful, burnt out, overwhelmed, scared, unsure or whatever else. Even if it IS only a preference, that's not a bad thing. I'd rather someone not take my child than to do so, and then back out later. It is PRUDENT that he has consistency.

If someone really doesn't want to do a job, they don't stay in that job or maybe they just don't do the job as well as they could; child care is no exception. Quality of work IS affected by how you feel, no matter how hard you try to stifle it, it will eventually come up.

Everyone, EVERYONE, really has special needs. It is a matter of WHAT special needs a person has and whether or not another person is able to accomodate to the BEST of their ability. You are saying you ARE NOT able to do so...therefore I wouldn't try.

[itlw8]

I'm a SN mom. I don't find the terms really offensive at all. I think we have to look at
intent on how things are said. If someone is using the R word to pick on my son, that's
rude and uncalled for. If it's on his medical chart, then it simply means "slowing"or "stopping"
.

so you are fine with someone calling your child slow minded??? I have trouble seeing how that would ever be appropriate. I guess I must be wrong as I seem to be the only one it bothers.

[Butter Biskets]

so you are fine with someone calling your child slow minded??? I have trouble seeing how that would ever be appropriate. I guess I must be wrong as I seem to be the only one it bothers.

I felt the same way when I read the slow minded part, but I am thinking that the poster is of another generation. It doesn't excuse the terminology, but I don't she meant to be rude.

[originalkat]

I have worked with kids with special needs, and I can say it is not my "gifting". But I have loved the experience of watching them grow and learn over time. I have also learned a lot about myself.

I think every teacher and child care provider has their strengths and weaknesses. However, its important to remember that every child and family is different. So IMO having a mentality to never work with kids of differing abilities is short sighted. I think we should assess every child and family for your ability to meet their needs. You may just miss out on some awesome things by never reaching out of your comfort zone.

But, many times, home providers do not have all of the resources and extra hands needed to care for kids with special needs (especially when severe behavior problems are involved). And it is only wise to not accept kids who will cause too much stress on you and the children/environment. That is not healthy for anyone involved.

[NightOwl]

I have worked with kids with special needs, and I can say it is not my "gifting". But I have loved the experience of watching them grow and learn over time. I have also learned a lot about myself.

I think every teacher and child care provider has their strengths and weaknesses. However, its important to remember that every child and family is different. So IMO having a mentality to never work with kids of differing abilities is short sighted. I think we should assess every child and family for your ability to meet their needs. You may just miss out on some awesome things by never reaching out of your comfort zone.

But, many times, home providers do not have all of the resources and extra hands needed to care for kids with special needs (especially when severe behavior problems are involved). And it is only wise to not accept kids who will cause too much stress on you and the children/environment. That is not healthy for anyone involved.

Yes! When I worked at/owned a center, we had a dcg with severe issues including autism, deafness, mental capacity of an 18 month old, IQ test registered a score in the 30s, etc. She came from an orphanage in Romania where physical and emotional neglect was rampant. She wasn't picked up from her crib for the first 18 months of her life. She was a handful, but we loved her so much.

She started at the center at 8 years old (even before I started there) and we kept amending our license's age limit (normally only went to 12 years old) to continue her care until she finally left for a group home at age 19 years old. She became very defiant at times and would close her eyes (that was her way of ignoring us because she is deaf) to ignore us when we signed for her to stop the behavior. But we handled it. WE. As a group. In a home setting with a single provider, this would never, ever, ever have worked.

You have to know your limits and what you are capable of. I was capable of caring for her at the center, I would NOT be capable at home.