What's Wrong With Parents Of Today And Saying A Thank-You!

[caregiver]

Today was the last day for one of my dcg's,who I have had for over 2 years. She now will be going to a all day preschool, closer to their home.

The parents just picked her up, and did say Thank-you,but it is not that I expected anything else, like a card or anything, but it would be nice if parents would show a little appreciation for someone who has taken care of their daughter for over 2 years, with at least a Thank-You card.

Why is it that daycare providers still are not valued as we should be? We give up a lot by doing daycare,don't make a lot of money doing it and we pretty much are raising other people's kids and are very much unappreciated.

Not trying to complain, but just would have appreciated getting a Thank you card at least.

[Josiegirl]

I know. You give your heart and soul to these kids and miss them when they're gone. Well, some of them anyways.
Just know you gave a little girl a good start in life and remember it's a business.
I just 'kind of' lost a dcg who had been coming for 5 years. She's always been on state subsidy. Communication hasn't been the best, especially this past summer. Her dd was gone so often that there were a few weeks I never got paid for. She finally came back right after school started and told me dc grandma was taking early retirement and would be caring for dcg, they no longer needed me. So I haven't even seen dcg for about a month and never really got to say goodbye. I'm still scratching my head wondering wth happened sometimes.

I'm accepting more and more this is a job, it's a business.

[caregiver]

I know. You give your heart and soul to these kids and miss them when they're gone. Well, some of them anyways.
Just know you gave a little girl a good start in life and remember it's a business.
I just 'kind of' lost a dcg who had been coming for 5 years. She's always been on state subsidy. Communication hasn't been the best, especially this past summer. Her dd was gone so often that there were a few weeks I never got paid for. She finally came back right after school started and told me dc grandma was taking early retirement and would be caring for dcg, they no longer needed me. So I haven't even seen dcg for about a month and never really got to say goodbye. I'm still scratching my head wondering wth happened sometimes.

I'm accepting more and more this is a job, it's a business.

I know........ it is a business and it should not surprise me with not even being told how much they appreciated what I did, but man, it is frustrating when you give your whole heart to these kids,hoping to make a difference in their little lives and parents don't seem to appreciate the love and care that you have shown their child,just have really taken you for granted. It's a very rewarding job, but people still have it in their heads that we are still just a babysitter,but there is more to us then that, if you know what I mean. We have to go through training to get licensed, have inspections, which is more then parents have to go through to be a parent! I have been doing daycare now for 31 years, and back in the old days.......parents really showed how much you have meant to them and their child and it made me feel like I was really valued and appreciated. I guess its true when they say manners and common curtsey have gone to the way side in today's world!

[hsdcmama]

I am feeling the same way, and I've only been in business for 8 months! I'm really starting to reconsider whether this is what I want to spend the rest of x amount of years doing, because I just feel so dumped on and unappreciated.

[aDCProvider]

Today was the last day for one of my dcg's,who I have had for over 2 years. She now will be going to a all day preschool, closer to their home.

The parents just picked her up, and did say Thank-you,but it is not that I expected anything else, like a card or anything, but it would be nice if parents would show a little appreciation for someone who has taken care of their daughter for over 2 years, with at least a Thank-You card.

Why is it that daycare providers still are not valued as we should be? We give up a lot by doing daycare,don't make a lot of money doing it and we pretty much are raising other people's kids and are very much unappreciated.

Not trying to complain, but just would have appreciated getting a Thank you card at least.

I could've written this exact same post today. I had my last day with DCG after 2 years and nothing was said. Didn't even hear from the Mom (DCD picked up).

[NightOwl]

When I worked in my center, I had a 4 yr old from infancy. He was the gem of the center. On a Thursday, dcm said Friday would be his last day (last minute decision to start prek). And on Friday, she picked up and said "thanks everyone. Bye!" and walked out like it was any other day.

I and the other staff just stood there dumbfounded. We COULD NOT BELIEVE our little prince was gone just like that and with absolutely no fanfare from mom. It was heartbreaking.

[Annalee]

When I worked in my center, I had a 4 yr old from infancy. He was the gem of the center. On a Thursday, dcm said Friday would be his last day (last minute decision to start prek). And on Friday, she picked up and said "thanks everyone. Bye!" and walked out like it was any other day.

I and the other staff just stood there dumbfounded. We COULD NOT BELIEVE our little prince was gone just like that and with absolutely no fanfare from mom. It was heartbreaking.

I have learned the hard way in my 20 plus years that parents are clients, nothing more and nothing less!!!! FCC providers are passionate about their jobs leaving room for hurt feelings/heart break....The stories in this thread are all too real to many of us along the way! It seems the clients we have put so much into and worked so well with are the ones that hurt the most...I guess because we expect clients to give back what we have put into the care of their particular child/family! I had a notice given this week from a 5 year client (2 kids in care from this fam right now) because there is a NEW DC Center within 2 minutes of their home going to open in two weeks. Client is putting children there without even a visit to the place, just wants a "first come/first serve spot":confused:. To say I was "stunned" is an understatement! We have had issues with the second child but client and I worked so well together to make it better (or so I thought) but mom did not even give it a second thought how the move could cause this child to regress....I am sick about it! Granted, my day will be easier now because it takes extra time with this child, but that is NOT what is on my mind....

[NightOwl]

No matter how hard we try or how many times we tell ourselves to stay detached, it never works. These children become our surrogate children. At least, that's how it is for me.

[KidGrind]

Today was the last day for one of my dcg's,who I have had for over 2 years. She now will be going to a all day preschool, closer to their home.

The parents just picked her up, and did say Thank-you,but it is not that I expected anything else, like a card or anything, but it would be nice if parents would show a little appreciation for someone who has taken care of their daughter for over 2 years, with at least a Thank-You card.

Why is it that daycare providers still are not valued as we should be? We give up a lot by doing daycare,don't make a lot of money doing it and we pretty much are raising other people's kids and are very much unappreciated.

Not trying to complain, but just would have appreciated getting a Thank you card at least.

You are definitely entitled to how you feel. Even so, I noticed a contradiction in your post. You typed you didn’t expect anything else beyond a thank you. The parents said, “Thank you.” Then you share daycare providers are not valued as we should be; we give up a lot; don’t make a lot of money raising other people’s kids.

What I do isn’t valued by a thank you card.

The little ones who light up when I open the door.
The high chaired 2 year old who walked into my home unable to feed himself, diapered, unable to focus during activities ….

….leaves 6 months letter feeding himself at the table, potty trained and a mini Picasso

I find the value in what I do in the children I care for.

I’ve received generous Christmas gifts, coffee, tea, food (from 4 star restaurants) and a lot of verbal thank yous. I don’t know your specific situation. I can only share mine. Yes, I have bad days. Yes, I have dealt with an ungrateful parent. A card doesn’t amp up a thank you. I have a Lying/MyChild Parent (referencing Daycare Whisperer Doing Daycare) who gives the most generous gifts. It is not the gift cards, money that makes my eyes water. It is when I get a verbal, “Thank you.” I know in that moment beyond her foolery she gets what I do.

Yes, I get on this site to complain about the crazies (parents) and learn from all of you. I also on occasion gloat about the parents (still crazies) I adore. Sometimes I forget parents are people too. They are multi-dimensional. My nightmare 3 weeks running sometimes becomes my savior or extreme helper in a situation. The parent who tried to drop her daughter off on a holiday maybe the same mother who volunteers to give the children weekly French lessons.

I get a lot doing daycare:

Paid
No commute
No latchkey kids
Cuddle babies daily without enduring 9 month body invasion;labor; lifetime of indentured servitude
Boss-of-Me
Tickled even on the bad days
Money

The value of what most of us do should never been tied to a parent; their expectations, wants, antics, gifts or thank you cards. It should be in the care we provide.

After thought: Anyone noticed I started with paid and ended with money? Totally not planned or purposefully but it puts an exclamation point on it’s a business for me.

I want to thank the OP for posting this it helped me to do some self evaluation. Even with the issues navigating Lying, PASS, MyChild Parents (referencing Daycare Whisper Doing Daycare again) the grass is greener on my side of the lawn; a lack of a thank you card doesn’t become a brown piss spot either.

[ColorfulSunburst]

They pay for service what they get. If we love kids it doesn't mean their parents must be super grateful because of that. If it is so it is good. If it is not, it is not bad. Don't wait from them more than you asked to pay for your service. They doesn't must do it. They can. But doesn't must.

[caregiver]

You are definitely entitled to how you feel. Even so, I noticed a contradiction in your post. You typed you didn’t expect anything else beyond a thank you. The parents said, “Thank you.” Then you share daycare providers are not valued as we should be; we give up a lot; don’t make a lot of money raising other people’s kids.

What I do isn’t valued by a thank you card.

The little ones who light up when I open the door.
The high chaired 2 year old who walked into my home unable to feed himself, diapered, unable to focus during activities ….

….leaves 6 months letter feeding himself at the table, potty trained and a mini Picasso

I find the value in what I do in the children I care for.

I’ve received generous Christmas gifts, coffee, tea, food (from 4 star restaurants) and a lot of verbal thank yous. I don’t know your specific situation. I can only share mine. Yes, I have bad days. Yes, I have dealt with an ungrateful parent. A card doesn’t amp up a thank you. I have a Lying/MyChild Parent (referencing Daycare Whisperer Doing Daycare) who gives the most generous gifts. It is not the gift cards, money that makes my eyes water. It is when I get a verbal, “Thank you.” I know in that moment beyond her foolery she gets what I do.

Yes, I get on this site to complain about the crazies (parents) and learn from all of you. I also on occasion gloat about the parents (still crazies) I adore. Sometimes I forget parents are people too. They are multi-dimensional. My nightmare 3 weeks running sometimes becomes my savior or extreme helper in a situation. The parent who tried to drop her daughter off on a holiday maybe the same mother who volunteers to give the children weekly French lessons.

I get a lot doing daycare:

Paid
No commute
No latchkey kids
Cuddle babies daily without enduring 9 month body invasion;labor; lifetime of indentured servitude
Boss-of-Me
Tickled even on the bad days
Money

The value of what most of us do should never been tied to a parent; their expectations, wants, antics, gifts or thank you cards. It should be in the care we provide.

After thought: Anyone noticed I started with paid and ended with money? Totally not planned or purposefully but it puts an exclamation point on it’s a business for me.

I want to thank the OP for posting this it helped me to do some self evaluation. Even with the issues navigating Lying, PASS, MyChild Parents (referencing Daycare Whisper Doing Daycare again) the grass is greener on my side of the lawn; a lack of a thank you card doesn’t become a brown piss spot either.

No, a card is not really my point and the fact that they said Thank You was nice, but I guess I should have explained myself better.

The Thank you was as they were walking out the door like it was a after thought, and I didn't get any warm and fuzzy as tho it was a heart felt Thank You. I know it is just a business for me. but it just would have been nice if they had shown a little more appreciation for someone that has taken care of their child for over two years.

I have always gotten along with these parents and have had no issues with them at all.

My husband says that I get to attached to the kids and should not expect anything out of parents these days as people don't seem to know how to show appreciation for anyone these days, that is just how it is and I guess he is right.
Getting a card is not really my issue, it would have been nice, yes! I am old fashion and was brought up where Thanking someone for something was more than just a plain Thank you, I was taught that it was nice to also write a Thank you card Thanking the person for whatever they did for you,it was drummed into my head that it was just common curtisie(sp) and the polite thing to do so.

These parents never even said Thank you for when I had their daughter make special gifts,like Birthday gifts for the parents and Christmas gifts to give them or even bothered to say Merry Christmas to me as they walked out the door the day before Christmas for the holidays.
I guess I should have known better and not have expected much more then a Thank You walking out the door. Geeze, someone took care and loved your daughter for 2 years!
Oh well, I have to learn that it is just a business and not get hurt feelings as parents don't feel the need to be Thankful for someone caring for their child so they can go to work.

To me it is just the heartfelt appreciation that would have been nicer,that's all.

[Shell]

I posted about this same issue in the member or private area, I can't remember, maybe about three months ago. I had prepared a very inexpensive, but extremely heart felt book with pictures of the kids from infancy thru preschool- and I bought dcg her favorite book. Dcm picked up, saw the book, and then said goodbye like it was any other day. I wasn't expecting a gift, but my goodness, a card saying thank you would have been something I would have treasured and held on to for those days when this job is tough. About three months later, they told me they had something being personalized for me and it would arrive in the mail- I said there's no need for a gift. About a month later, I got a gift that was an obvious re-gift. Words mean more than a gift- guess it was the thought that counted? They must have realized they should have done something to say thanks?

[caregiver]

I posted about this same issue in the member or private area, I can't remember, maybe about three months ago. I had prepared a very inexpensive, but extremely heart felt book with pictures of the kids from infancy thru preschool- and I bought dcg her favorite book. Dcm picked up, saw the book, and then said goodbye like it was any other day. I wasn't expecting a gift, but my goodness, a card saying thank you would have been something I would have treasured and held on to for those days when this job is tough. About three months later, they told me they had something being personalized for me and it would arrive in the mail- I said there's no need for a gift. About a month later, I got a gift that was an obvious re-gift. Words mean more than a gift- guess it was the thought that counted? They must have realized they should have done something to say thanks?

Yes, to me, it is not that I wanted a gift or anything either, just the thought of a more heartfelt Thank you would have meant more to me.

[Unregistered]

I understand. I had two leave at the end of summer. Parents cried together by the cubbies at the end of the day. Took pictures of the kids at their cubbies, pictures of them sitting at the table, pictures of the sign-in sheet (?), pictures of the entry door(?).
I give gifts for birthdays, holidays and final day of care. When I noticed parents not saying thanks or having their kids say thanks, I thought maybe they didn't value the paperbacks I was giving (always good books though). So I started giving hardcovers.
No thank you for care, no thank you for gifts. No picture of me with the children. It's like I don't exist. Or I'm just a service.
It's not how it used to be. I used to feel valued, yes, sometimes through thoughtful gifts, but almost always by simple, heartfelt thank yous.

[hope]

I understand that money can be tight and sometimes a gift is not an option. A hand written letter expressing how thankful you are for caring for their child everyday or a drawing from the child in a dollar store frame shows you care. It is not necessary but nor is many of the things we do. We as providers can serve mac n cheese but instead we buy organic food and spend our nights looking up healthy recipes. We can pass out crayons and notebook paper everyday but instead we pass out glitter, pom poms and glue and spend our nights cleaning. We go the extra mile, why can't the parents spend an extra five minutes to do that for us.