14 Month Old That Never Gets Full

[Cradle2crayons]

I have a 14 month old boy i've had in care since he was 2 weeks old. His older sister is the special needs heart dcg (age 30 months).

He was born a preemie but other than a small amount of reflux he's never had a health problem.

He IS off the charts which started when he was started on rice cereal and baby food at 6 months. Mom stuffs him with food at home. I think partly because the special dcg is FTT and so underweight she's always been concerned since he was a preemie that he would be small.

Anyway, the last few months, after every meal and snack he screams bloody murder for more than an hour (if it's not naptime). If it's after lunch, he screams bloody murder until I put him to bed and then he goes to sleep.

The amount of food he's offered is WAYYYY more than enough. I've had a talk with mom about feeding him his meals and snacks and then giving him some of HER meals and snacks when it's outside his eating time. But i'm POSITIVE she continues to do it.

Soooooooooooooo any tips and tricks to this?? He eats ANY food. He NEVER leaves a scrap at all. He finishes ALL of his milk etc. However, if you keep feeding him, he literally would never stop, regardless of how big his tummy gets. Regardless of what you feed him. Regardless of any fun activities AFTER meals etc. Also, if he OVER eats he spits up. Also to note, he doesn't eat OVER fast either.

Ideas? Suggestions?

[Unregistered]

Any extreme thirst, being tired a lot, or extra wet diapers? Maybe high blood sugars?

[Cradle2crayons]

Any extreme thirst, being tired a lot, or extra wet diapers? Maybe high blood sugars?

no extreme thirst... no tired a lot... he tinkles normal. And he doesn't cry at all... unless it's after meals and snacks.

[Blackcat31]

I think sometimes, kids aren't taught to recognize their body's signal that they are full and if a parent keeps offering or giving food (especially as a reward or means to keep them quiet etc) then the child develops bad eating habits.

Honestly, I'd serve him his required serving sizes and then allow him to have water afterwards.

He WILL eventually learn that he IS full. I think I read somewhere that it literally takes up to 15 minutes for our brains to register the signs that our stomachs are full so I am betting he just eats right past that sign.

Make sure he is eating every 3 hours and don't allow more than his suggested serving sizes for his weight/age until he develops a better routine or begins to show signs of not NEEDING to have more.

I bet it has nothing to do with actually being hungry and more to do with "that's just what he does" and that bad habit got imprinted in his brain.

kwim?


I know NOTHING about this issue...I am just guessing so I might be way off but I've only had this happen here once and it was because the mother used food as a reward and consequence for literally everything.

[renodeb]

Does he eat a lot of starches? I find that if I give the kids more protein then they don't seem hungry 10 minutes later. Maybe try water between meals. Dry cheerios so he thinks he getting something to eat. Just suggestions.
Deb

[Cradle2crayons]

I think sometimes, kids aren't taught to recognize their body's signal that they are full and if a parent keeps offering or giving food (especially as a reward or means to keep them quiet etc) then the child develops bad eating habits.

Honestly, I'd serve him his required serving sizes and then allow him to have water afterwards.

He WILL eventually learn that he IS full. I think I read somewhere that it literally takes up to 15 minutes for our brains to register the signs that our stomachs are full so I am betting he just eats right past that sign.

Make sure he is eating every 3 hours and don't allow more than his suggested serving sizes for his weight/age until he develops a better routine or begins to show signs of not NEEDING to have more.

I bet it has nothing to do with actually being hungry and more to do with "that's just what he does" and that bad habit got imprinted in his brain.

kwim?


I know NOTHING about this issue...I am just guessing so I might be way off but I've only had this happen here once and it was because the mother used food as a reward and consequence for literally everything.

I tried giving him water after his meals and milk... and after drinking that after the food and milk he would spit up because he was OVER full.

I do feed him the recommended amount and I've shown mom portion sizes... I know she isn't doing it maliciously and after having a child like his sister I get why she does it. I really do. I've explained gently the effect it's having on him at daycare and I think she's STARTING to get it.

Last night when she picked up at 8:00 PM, he had been screaming since 7:00 PM when he had finished his supper. I explained why and I told her it was getting worse. She then asked how she should be dealing with it at home. And we talked for several minutes about it.

Last week we had beef stew and it was this mom's birthday so I made a cake for dessert for everyone and I sent home a bowl of beef stew and a piece of cake for her. I know she's very broke and she works long hours and I knew she'd been all day without eating. Well, she picked him up to walk out the door and picked up her bowl of beef stew (with a plastic spoon in it and aluminum foil over it). the DCB started pitching a fit wanting HER food, even though he had just finished his an hour earlier. She opened the aluminum foil and started feeding him SPOONFULS of beef stew.

I said "Mom, that's why he's screaming for hours after meals and snacks. He JUST ate an hour ago a complete meal and milk. It's making his daycare days very stressful to be screaming for hours after meals because I REFUSE to OVERfeed him and continuously feed him when he wants food."

she replied "Yeah, I know I shouldn't do it"

I'm happy she finally admitted it last night and asked what SHE should be doing so that we could be handling it the same at both houses.

I just wondered if there was anything ELSE I could be doing or she could be doing to make it easier.

Would you give him water after meals and milk even if he spits up due to being over full? I give him the USDA recommended portion amounts and he gets whole milk with his meals.

[Blackcat31]

I tried giving him water after his meals and milk... and after drinking that after the food and milk he would spit up because he was OVER full.

I do feed him the recommended amount and I've shown mom portion sizes... I know she isn't doing it maliciously and after having a child like his sister I get why she does it. I really do. I've explained gently the effect it's having on him at daycare and I think she's STARTING to get it.

Last night when she picked up at 8:00 PM, he had been screaming since 7:00 PM when he had finished his supper. I explained why and I told her it was getting worse. She then asked how she should be dealing with it at home. And we talked for several minutes about it.

Last week we had beef stew and it was this mom's birthday so I made a cake for dessert for everyone and I sent home a bowl of beef stew and a piece of cake for her. I know she's very broke and she works long hours and I knew she'd been all day without eating. Well, she picked him up to walk out the door and picked up her bowl of beef stew (with a plastic spoon in it and aluminum foil over it). the DCB started pitching a fit wanting HER food, even though he had just finished his an hour earlier. She opened the aluminum foil and started feeding him SPOONFULS of beef stew.

I said "Mom, that's why he's screaming for hours after meals and snacks. He JUST ate an hour ago a complete meal and milk. It's making his daycare days very stressful to be screaming for hours after meals because I REFUSE to OVERfeed him and continuously feed him when he wants food."

she replied "Yeah, I know I shouldn't do it"

I'm happy she finally admitted it last night and asked what SHE should be doing so that we could be handling it the same at both houses.

I just wondered if there was anything ELSE I could be doing or she could be doing to make it easier.

Would you give him water after meals and milk even if he spits up due to being over full? I give him the USDA recommended portion amounts and he gets whole milk with his meals.

Honestly, if you know he is full and he may spit up, I'd just start teaching him no.

He is young but he will get it.

Like anything else they throw a fit about, he can't just have it simply because he wants it.

If we change this story to ALL the same details but make it about candy or even about something unsafe like say scissors...we don't just give in because he is screaming. We say no and stick to it.

I think it might be mom who needs to start following through. I am glad she is seeing the light because what she is doing is setting you up to have to deal with the behaviors.

I'd skip the water if you know his dietary needs have been met and just focus more on him understanding AND ACCEPTING the words "all done" or "no more"

[Cradle2crayons]

Does he eat a lot of starches? I find that if I give the kids more protein then they don't seem hungry 10 minutes later. Maybe try water between meals. Dry cheerios so he thinks he getting something to eat. Just suggestions.
Deb

At home, yes he probably eats more starches than protein. Here he gets quite a bit of protein because his special needs sister gets EXTRA EXTRA in the protein department so I never skimp on that.

The meal times here for daycare are 8:00 AM breakfast 10:00 AM snack Lunch is at 12:30PM. Afternoon snack is at 3:30 PM. Dinner is at 6:00 PM and bedtime snack is at 8:15 PM.

He eats his food. Then I give him his cup. As SOON as the cup runs dry he starts SCREAMING bloody murder and doesn't stop until it's either naptime or meal time again.

Would you give him dry cheerios between meals and snacks? One time I gave him a handful an hour after breakfast (8:00 AM) because he screamed until 9:30 AM. At 9:30 AM I gave him cheerios and when they were gone he started screaming again and screamed until snack time. <SIGH> after that I didn't give him anything else between meals and snacks.

[Cradle2crayons]

Honestly, if you know he is full and he may spit up, I'd just start teaching him no.

He is young but he will get it.

Like anything else they throw a fit about, he can't just have it simply because he wants it.

If we change this story to ALL the same details but make it about candy or even about something unsafe like say scissors...we don't just give in because he is screaming. We say no and stick to it.

I think it might be mom who needs to start following through. I am glad she is seeing the light because what she is doing is setting you up to have to deal with the behaviors.

I'd skip the water if you know his dietary needs have been met and just focus more on him understanding AND ACCEPTING the words "all done" or "no more"

yes that's what I've been doing. The screaming started a few months ago... but the last few weeks has gotten worse. But I just keep rinsing and repeating.

I agree .. the mom does NOT follow through. And after the special medical issues with his sister.. she is NOT GOOD AT ALL at saying no or discipline. Honestly the dcg rarely ever needs to be told no. She rarely does what she knows she isn't supposed to do. I guess that's why when mom DOES need to say no, then dcg cries then mom feels bad. But with the dcb, he's a completely different child in how his brain processes. He NEEDS to hear no MULTIPLE times a day. Since mom isn't good at no, he's running with it where the dcg hasn't yet. I've talked to mom about that too because when I tell the dcg no, sometimes she starts that crying fit because she knows mom caves so she does the crying spot here and it's working FABULOUSLY!!! So I explained that to mom. But I sincerely doubt she's getting with that program yet either.

I'll keep doing what i'm doing... which is "NO MORE" "ALL DONE" and redirecting. If it doesn't improve in a few weeks I'll sit mom down again and talk to her. She IS a very receptive mom. And she does ask me for advice on things and generally she does what I ask in those respects.

So we'll see!! I guess I was just thinking it should be getting better quicker.. But I know it isn't because mom isn't following through. Eventually he WILL get it though. OR I can just buy cute hello kitty ear plugs for me and the little girls!!

[Heidi]

My 14mo dcb is very similar. If mom has the nerve to eat anything in front of him, even when he just ate, he wants it. I, too, have told her that she is allowed to say "No, this is my food. You had your snack, this is mommy's". She won't though. She thinks it's progress that she makes him "ask nicely" vs. yelling for it. I say, even asking nicely, sometimes the answer can be no.

Mine is in the 90th percentile for height and weight. So, just a big guy, not overweight.

At lunch, if he's had his share of bread, protein, and milk, I let him have more veggies. I figure the calorie count in veggies (always just steamed) is so low, he could literally eat himself silly and be okay.

Maybe if, when you gave him his last serving, you said "that's all!" or something, then put away any remaining food while he finished that serving, it might help?

If he pitches a fit, treat it like any other tantrum. My dude already is starting to understand "the crying spot". I park him and walk away. "You're whining hurts my ears. You can whine here. When you are done, you can come play" Then, I welcome him back and we play. No audience, no real reason to keep it up.

I've also been working with my toddlers to wait until everyone is served to eat. They put their little hands on their laps, and we say "Bon Apetit", then we eat. Today was the first day he did it with little prompting or yelling. The idea is just to slow things down a little and enjoy a meal, not stuff your face before some people even have food.

If you're allowed, serve his food a few table spoons at a time, and then talk to him a bit between refills. Maybe "shhhh" before you put more on his plate. Meaning, he can start waiting quietly. Maybe if it takes longer to eat, he'll actually feel full.

[Cradle2crayons]

My 14mo dcb is very similar. If mom has the nerve to eat anything in front of him, even when he just ate, he wants it. I, too, have told her that she is allowed to say "No, this is my food. You had your snack, this is mommy's". She won't though. She thinks it's progress that she makes him "ask nicely" vs. yelling for it. I say, even asking nicely, sometimes the answer can be no.

Mine is in the 90th percentile for height and weight. So, just a big guy, not overweight.

At lunch, if he's had his share of bread, protein, and milk, I let him have more veggies. I figure the calorie count in veggies (always just steamed) is so low, he could literally eat himself silly and be okay.

Maybe if, when you gave him his last serving, you said "that's all!" or something, then put away any remaining food while he finished that serving, it might help?

If he pitches a fit, treat it like any other tantrum. My dude already is starting to understand "the crying spot". I park him and walk away. "You're whining hurts my ears. You can whine here. When you are done, you can come play" Then, I welcome him back and we play. No audience, no real reason to keep it up.

I've also been working with my toddlers to wait until everyone is served to eat. They put their little hands on their laps, and we say "Bon Apetit", then we eat. Today was the first day he did it with little prompting or yelling. The idea is just to slow things down a little and enjoy a meal, not stuff your face before some people even have food.

If you're allowed, serve his food a few table spoons at a time, and then talk to him a bit between refills. Maybe "shhhh" before you put more on his plate. Meaning, he can start waiting quietly. Maybe if it takes longer to eat, he'll actually feel full.

I generally sit all age groups at the same time. Even his special medical dcg sister. I adapt what everyone else is eating to those two as far as size of the food, prep etc. He sits in a chair that has a separate plastic chair in it that has a tray. I give him just a little at a time and a spoon and fork. When he gets down to the last few pieces each time.. he starts whining and I say "I'll get you more in a minute". Then I give him the rest and when I get to the next to the last spoonful I say "Almost done!" and then I give him the last one and say "This is the last of the food!" I put that on his tray and I throw his paper plate in the garbage. He isn't the first to finish. He used to stuff fast but not anymore since I started slowing him down. After he finishes the last spoonful he whines a little and I say "I'll bring your milk in a minute" Then he gets his milk. But then, as soon as the cup is empty, all heck breaks loose.

I haven't started using the crying spot with him yet. I'll try that after dinner this afternoon. His sister has perfected the use of the crying spot LOL. It works wonders for her. I've just never had one his age throw THAT huge of a tantrum so I've never used the crying spot on him yet. Food is the ONLY thing he throws a tantrum over. He doesn't always like to hear no, but he doesn't tantrum over it though.

[Heidi]

I generally sit all age groups at the same time. Even his special medical dcg sister. I adapt what everyone else is eating to those two as far as size of the food, prep etc. He sits in a chair that has a separate plastic chair in it that has a tray. I give him just a little at a time and a spoon and fork. When he gets down to the last few pieces each time.. he starts whining and I say "I'll get you more in a minute". Then I give him the rest and when I get to the next to the last spoonful I say "Almost done!" and then I give him the last one and say "This is the last of the food!" I put that on his tray and I throw his paper plate in the garbage. He isn't the first to finish. He used to stuff fast but not anymore since I started slowing him down. After he finishes the last spoonful he whines a little and I say "I'll bring your milk in a minute" Then he gets his milk. But then, as soon as the cup is empty, all heck breaks loose.

I haven't started using the crying spot with him yet. I'll try that after dinner this afternoon. His sister has perfected the use of the crying spot LOL. It works wonders for her. I've just never had one his age throw THAT huge of a tantrum so I've never used the crying spot on him yet. Food is the ONLY thing he throws a tantrum over. He doesn't always like to hear no, but he doesn't tantrum over it though.

Sometimes it's hard to believe fully that they are, indeed tantruming. They're still such...babies, right?

[Cradle2crayons]

Sometimes it's hard to believe fully that they are, indeed tantruming. They're still such...babies, right?

exactly. He's only 14 months. He's very bowlegged. He JUST started walking a few weeks ago. But he does understand a lot more than some his age as far as instruction and direction.

He also doesn't talk a LOT yet. He says "Mama" "Sissy" and "Night Night". That's it.

But he does follow simple commands. If someone drops a book and he goes to get it and I say "No DCB leave the book alone". He does. 99 % of the time anyway.

[nannyde]

Prader Willi?

[Cradle2crayons]

Prader Willi?

I thought about that first a few months ago.... and mom asked the pediatrician some questions. But basically he told her to quit feeding him 24/7. besides the eating thing he really doesn't have any other of the typical physical characteristics of it.

But.. his knees stay bent... and his legs don't straighten all the way out... so when he stands or walks... he's a little bowlegged... knees bent etc... but he doesn't tippy toe.

I've asked mom to bring this up at his next appointment because it wasn't really noticeable until he started crawling and standing (he didn't start crawling until he was like 9-10 months old).. started standing at 13 months.. and just started walking... but it's weird watching him walking with his knees bent... bowlegged

Honestly I noticed behind his knees have been tight for a while.. but I assumed that was from being in a car seat at least 2 hours every single day.