Why do they stay?

[knoxmomof2]

So, this is totally for insight only. I don't have an issue with it, I just wonder... I have pretty much always been at home with my children. We tried daycare for a few months, wasn't a good fit for us. Thankfully we had family to help out, and then I was either at home or worked opposite Hubs, so....

Why do my parents stay at drop off/ pick up? I've never had a quick in and out, unless someone was being picked up early and it was naptime (then, I meet them at the back door with their things). They sit on the couch, they watch the kids play, they talk to each other if they arrive at the same time, the first arrival visits with me while watching the baby play. One Mom will read a book to her child (and the others) if dcg brings her one.

Someone who's been a working Mom might get it. I never stayed at the daycare, I went to my car and cried all the way to work, like a big girl.. Lol.

[Unregistered]

Not sure of the answer, but my daughter has asked this a few times this past year. She can not grasp why they would not want to gather up their kids quickly and get home to family time. Likely because we are ready for them to head out at the end of the day, so we can start our family time.

[NightOwl]

Maybe it's just me, but I LOVE this. It shows me that my families are comfortable in my home and with me, we chit chat and get to know each other better over time. They play with their own child and with the other dcks. When a second parent comes in, the join in on the convo and playing. I find it to be very warm and fuzzy, but I really like all of my dcfs.

[Cradle2crayons]

So, this is totally for insight only. I don't have an issue with it, I just wonder... I have pretty much always been at home with my children. We tried daycare for a few months, wasn't a good fit for us. Thankfully we had family to help out, and then I was either at home or worked opposite Hubs, so....

Why do my parents stay at drop off/ pick up? I've never had a quick in and out, unless someone was being picked up early and it was naptime (then, I meet them at the back door with their things). They sit on the couch, they watch the kids play, they talk to each other if they arrive at the same time, the first arrival visits with me while watching the baby play. One Mom will read a book to her child (and the others) if dcg brings her one.

Someone who's been a working Mom might get it. I never stayed at the daycare, I went to my car and cried all the way to work, like a big girl.. Lol.

I don't have an issue with this because I don't allow lingering at drop off at all. If here's something to discuss then that's different but I find it's easier for all if drop off and pick up is as quick as possible.

[midaycare]

Maybe it's just me, but I LOVE this. It shows me that my families are comfortable in my home and with me, we chit chat and get to know each other better over time. They play with their own child and with the other dcks. When a second parent comes in, the join in on the convo and playing. I find it to be very warm and fuzzy, but I really like all of my dcfs.

I like this too. My dcf's don't talk to each other though, they talk to me. I appreciate a little adult interaction ::

I purposely set up my daycare so there is nowhere for adults to sit. Maybe that would help? My dcf's can only linger so long before they have to go. Or else they have to get on the floor and play with the kids. I have plenty of child seating though.

[Sunchimes]

I'm with Wednesday on this. I'm a bit different though. My kids are grown and gone and my husband is semi-retired and home most of the time.

In the early days, my moms hung around to watch their kids play and show off what they had been doing all day. I enjoyed talking to women for a change, and they all seemed to consider me a mom/grandma figure. I know way more about their personal lives than I need to know, but most of my dcms live away from their own moms, and they seem to need to talk. I'm ok with it.

These days, all of my kids are special needs, so we need time to talk about what they did over the weekend, anything good or bad that happened during the day, and a chance for me to pass along what the therapists said or any new therapies or exercises we are adding to the routine.

If I still had kids at home or if my husband worked all day and I only saw him in the evenings, I would not have allowed this to happen, other than therapy related things. As it is, it works for me.

[nannyde]

They don't want to be alone with their children. If they have time to sit and play in the morning they could stay home and play. If they wanted to sit and read books after daycare they could go home and read books.

Your house is free, clean, fun, chocked full of toys, and they never have to do anything but visit and have fun. It's a free playdate, social hour, and they get to play super parent with an audience that can't boo them or leave. They have you trapped.

STOP allowing it. Tell them drop off and pick ups need to be very fast. If they have time in the morning then have them start later. When they arrive to pick up the kid have them ready and say see ya tomorrow.

[originalkat]

Most days my parents drop off and pick up quickly. Some days we may chit chat for a bit (just adult convo). I have never had anyone stay and play though. That would annoy me. I think providers "invite" certain things into their homes. An atmosphere that says its okay to stay and play... When parents come to pick up at my house I make a point to call the child and start gathering their things. I say my good-bys and see ya tomorrows and out they go.

I did have one lingering dad several years back. SUPER annoying.

[Wubby]

Maybe it's just me, but I LOVE this. It shows me that my families are comfortable in my home and with me, we chit chat and get to know each other better over time. They play with their own child and with the other dcks. When a second parent comes in, the join in on the convo and playing. I find it to be very warm and fuzzy, but I really like all of my dcfs.

I'm with Wednesday on this. My families like each other, they invite each other to b-day parties and even organized halloween trick or treating together. My vacation is coming up and my current parents worked out a schedule with each other, so they could take turns keeping kids and not lose their vacation at work. The kids are friends, the parents are helping the kids to build relationships. Some of these friendships are still on going (just went to a party for a 15 yr old, past daycare kid, and 3 other past families were there also).

[Crazy8]

I'm with Wednesday on this. My families like each other, they invite each other to b-day parties and even organized halloween trick or treating together. My vacation is coming up and my current parents worked out a schedule with each other, so they could take turns keeping kids and not lose their vacation at work. The kids are friends, the parents are helping the kids to build relationships. Some of these friendships are still on going (just went to a party for a 15 yr old, past daycare kid, and 3 other past families were there also).

I had 2 moms that got chummy like this last year and I HATED it!!! I hated that they hung out here too long at pick up (even when I kicked them out they stood out front chatting) and I really hated that when one sold their house and was moving the other one decided she was going to start preschool too (even after them coming back in sept. and saying they'd go to preschool the following year, the minute the other was going they up and left too).

[Sugar Magnolia]

Maybe it's just me, but I LOVE this. It shows me that my families are comfortable in my home and with me, we chit chat and get to know each other better over time. They play with their own child and with the other dcks. When a second parent comes in, the join in on the convo and playing. I find it to be very warm and fuzzy, but I really like all of my dcfs.

I'm fine with this too, until the clock hits 5:30.

[knoxmomof2]

It doesn't bother me, really. I do enjoy the adult socialization. The only thing that occurs occasionally is that the oldest will act out on the other two kids. (It's obviously because he's got an audience, but even that's not often anymore.) Just wondered.. It's hard for me to see their perspective. One Mom mentioned "working Mom fears" and I was reminded that they see a different viewpoint. This is work for me, I care about the kids, but it's business.

[Angelsj]

They don't want to be alone with their children. If they have time to sit and play in the morning they could stay home and play. If they wanted to sit and read books after daycare they could go home and read books.

Your house is free, clean, fun, chocked full of toys, and they never have to do anything but visit and have fun. It's a free playdate, social hour, and they get to play super parent with an audience that can't boo them or leave. They have you trapped.

STOP allowing it. Tell them drop off and pick ups need to be very fast. If they have time in the morning then have them start later. When they arrive to pick up the kid have them ready and say see ya tomorrow.

Not everyone operates this way, Nan. Some of us are ok with the interaction time and with a closer "family" style of care. It is fine if you don't want that, but she doesn't necessarily have a problem with it. I enjoy that my parents hang out sometimes. I am also skilled in cutting it short if I want or need to be elsewhere. Balance.

[nannyde]

It doesn't bother me, really. I do enjoy the adult socialization. The only thing that occurs occasionally is that the oldest will act out on the other two kids. (It's obviously because he's got an audience, but even that's not often anymore.) Just wondered.. It's hard for me to see their perspective. One Mom mentioned "working Mom fears" and I was reminded that they see a different viewpoint. This is work for me, I care about the kids, but it's business.

Would you prefer they spent the awake time they have with their children away from your house?

[NightOwl]

Sure she would. But 20 minutes of grown up conversation while watching the kids play is fun for me. And actually, my moms are usually in the floor playing with kids and talking with me at the same time. So it's not like we're ignoring the kids and only talking to each other, kwim?