Nap Time Help Or Advice!

[E Daycare]

I watch a 10 month old who does not nap. She was born 3 months early and has a lot of developmental issues so she acts more like a 6 month old. The thing is, she doesnt sleep. She usually gets to my house about 6:30am-7:30am (or who knows when she will show up) and her parent(s) always tell me the same story:

"Been up since [5/6am], ate a while ago and is ready to go back to sleep."

She NEVER goes back to sleep and is up till about 12:30pm or so where she fights sleep. When she does go to sleep its for about a hour. Then shes up till her parents get her about 5 or 5:30. They love it cause that means she falls asleep for them on the way home. Ive tried to instill a schedule with her as my 17 month old has started to take a 2-2.5 hr nap and Ive had him on a schedule since he was 6 weeks so we are pretty much same ol' same ol' here. I know shes still tired and have tried rocking her, bouncing her, putting her in the swing and letting her "cry it out" but she has the most awful infant cry still and itll wake the kid upstairs or the one that was sleeping in the daycare room too. Im at wits end because shes here about 10hrs a day if not longer, only sleeps an hour, and I get maybe a half hour break (yeah whine is me right?) during the day. I know she needs decent rest for her sake and development and Ive tried soothing music, no music, making the temperature ok, etc.... It wouldnt be a issue if I didnt know she was still exhausted when she wakes up after a hour. Most (now I know all kids are different) kids who wake up early go back to sleep but she will rub her eyes and scream. Scream like she is a newborn infant scream. No matter if I hold her, rock her, bounce her or let her try and go back on her own.

Maybe since she sleeps from 5:30pm till 5am and gets her 12hrs shes just good to go during the day? I know shes growing and developing but even my super BUSY child who gets up at 7:30 needs a good nap during the day to make sure he doesnt drive himself (let alone me) insane and is passed out at 1pm.

Has anyone else ever had issues like this with either an active infant or a preemie? I have certification in Child development but never had much education in preemies so maybe they are just a lot different then those that develop close to their scheduled milestones? The parents dont instill ANY type of schedule WHAT SO EVER (see my rant about their crazy drop offs in the rant area haha) so that could be a problem too? Ive talked to them about her sleeping habits, always write everything she does down on her infant log and address any concerns the parents have when they give me the everyday incredulous "WOW she didnt nap?!".

Yes she didnt nap but man oh man could I have gone for a good two hour one myself!

[Missani]

I have a baby who is just like this and it drives me batty! I feel your pain. This baby is not a preemie, and I've had her since she was 12 weeks old. She is now 6 months old. She is here 9-10 hours a day, and she will MAYBE sleep an hour. Usually, it's more like 30-40 minutes. She is tired and she cries! To my hubby only, I've nicknamed her "The Screamer." But she does the same thing, she's up all day here and LOUD so the other kids can't sleep either. Then her mom picks her up, she falls asleep on the way home, and sleeps until they bring her back the next day. Then they act like it's my fault that she doesn't sleep here! She actually really likes being here, and it may be that she thinks she's missing something, but at naptime, there's nothing else going on so SLEEP already! Mom and dad claim that she should be taking 5 naps a day (which is maybe a bit excessive in my opinion for a 6 month old!!!), so they normally do 5 or so 30 minute naps. I've tried explaining that 2 naps might be better and encourage longer sleep, but I think they're happy that she sleeps every minute she's not here!

I don't really have any advice, because I have the same problem, but all I can say is keep to your schedule! Every day I give her breakfast at about 8:30, change her diaper, and put her to bed about 9:15 with the same routine. She doesn't sleep, but at least I tried. Then, I give her lunch about 12:15, change her diaper, and put her down again about 1:00. This time she does sleep, but she wakes up after about 30-40 minutes (still tired of course!) and cries. I have to remove her from the room where the others are napping. So far, it's the same thing every day, but I figure at some point maybe it will sink in. I've also talked to mom and dad and made it clear that this was my plan. I don't think they follow it at home, but I've asked them to and told them it would make it easier for their daughter if they did. All I can do is stay consistent! Good luck!!

[marniewon]

I don't think they follow it at home, but I've asked them to and told them it would make it easier for their daughter if they did. All I can do is stay consistent! Good luck!!

In my handbook revision, I actually had to put that in there. I said it would be in the best interest of the child to try to follow the weekly schedule on the weekends, as some children do not transition very well from weekend to weekdays (meaning napping!). I highlighted that (as well as other changes) for the family of my screaming/non napper. I also put in there that children WILL rest quietly (nap) in the afternoon, and if there are issues, I will do whatever I can to work with the parents, but if the problem doesn't resolve itself, I will have to terminate. It's just not fair to the other kids who need/like their sleep!!

Sorry, OP, didn't mean to highjack your thread....and worse, I have no advice Although, I found that if you get them up after they start crying, they expect you to do it every time and will scream longer and louder. Also, does this baby know how to soothe herself? Try a toy from home or a "lovey" of some type to help her soothe herself to sleep. Mine had that problem at that age too.

[Daycare_Mama]

My daughter was also born 3 months early, so I can speak from experience as far as preemies go. However, my daughter definitely needed naps, so I'm not sure what that's about.

The only things I can suggest that I didn't see you mentioned would be swaddling and sleeping at an incline. Even though she's 10 months old, I'm betting she's closer to the size of a 6 month old too. It may be that she needs to be swaddled still (if you haven't tried this)...I had to swaddle my daughter until she was almost a year old.

Also, reflux is hugely common in preemies and it may just be that she doesn't sleep good laying flat. I used a nap nanny for my daughter, but I think there's other solutions to that as well..that was just the easiest for me.

I would urge you to tell the parents about your concerns about her sleep. If this were my daughter and she wasn't napping at daycare, I would want to bring her into the Dr. and have a sleep study to see what's going on. Just come at it from a standpoint that you are very concerned because you know she needs her sleep and it's not healthy for her to go all day without napping.

[DCMomOf3]

Maybe since she sleeps from 5:30pm till 5am and gets her 12hrs shes just good to go during the day?

If it were me, I would nicely tell the parents to wake her up when they get home for a few hours and give her a proper bed time. She should be napping at least one 2 hour nap during the day, IMO.

As a parent, I think it's odd that they are ok with only an hour a morning with her. I would want to see my child after a full day of work.

[nannyde]

Is she funded in your day care as a special needs child?

[E Daycare]

Im going to try swaddling and the incline. I have a incline wedge from my son because he had such bad reflux (to the point of medication) until he was 5 months. It kinda helped him so maybe itll help her. I try and swaddle her but shes a finger ****er so she has to have at least one hand free to gum on them. As far as a self soother to the point of making herself feel better and not cry/whine/throw a fit? No. She uses no paci other then her fingers but will scream till the cows fly home if you don't get her. To keep from waking the other poor kids who need rest I have to catch her as soon as I hear any movement because i know if not then the fire alarm that is her will go off altering anyone in a 5 mile radius will know she is not happy.

Shes a very sweet and adorable baby and I want to continue watching her but the issues keep piling up and sometimes you start to wonder if the sanity you lose is worth the constant fight with her parents or her. Its bad to say this but I will; if it wasnt the fact that we needed her paycheck then Id drop her. Then again, I dont want to just shrug and give up either. Not like I decided to watch children for that big fat check (). We all know you have to love it. I do but man she tests my stress level with the no nap and other issues.

Ill continue with the schedule Ive been keeping and cross fingers she catches on too. At some point they all get on some routine (Im hoping) because I think no parent can take the "we will see how it goes" approach to every day child rearing ALL the live long day.

Right?

[E Daycare]

Is she funded in your day care as a special needs child?

Im not licensed or anything; just tax writable and cheap so the parents went with me. The mom assured me going in that she was just small but pretty on track. So with learning she isnt on track, as I figured that much going in since my nephew was a preemie and at 5yrs is still delayed, its getting increasing apparent that her physical development isnt the only issue.

The parents offer not much help as they (along with any proud parent) thinks their baby is just so smart and I quote "I bet she will be walking by Christmas!".

Lets work on that nap first and then go from there I say.

[marniewon]

Ill continue with the schedule Ive been keeping and cross fingers she catches on too. At some point they all get on some routine (Im hoping) because I think no parent can take the "we will see how it goes" approach to every day child rearing ALL the live long day.

Right?

No, they don't, but then again, they don't have to - YOU are doing it! I don't mean that in a bad way against you, I'm just saying that why would the parents change what they are doing when they hardly have her, and when they do, she's perfect for them (sleeping the whole time!)? Maybe you need a vacation.....long enough for the parents to have to deal with her cranky no-nap self all day long every day! Bet THEN they would put her on a schedule!

[E Daycare]

Since Christmas is coming up and Im "closed" for a few days while my family is in town Im hoping thatll get their butts in gear with her. I dont place any bets and can almost guarantee when she comes back she will be worse off. These parents will be the ones that keep their kid up till 11pm in hopes that she sleeps past 9am on the weekends or days they bring her in at 10:30am because the parent has off. I can attest the only time my son has ever been up past his 8pm bedtime was last year at his first Christmas. We were back home visiting family. Even then he still woke up nice and cranky at normal 7am .

After the holidays its gonna be Erin bootcamp. Schedule schedule schedule! I have a new kid starting too so WHEEEE!

[Live and Learn]

Do you have this child five days a week?
If so....you have the upper hand.
Put child on a schedule that suits you and stick to it come @$&! Or high water. Provide her with a silky in the pnp in a separate room and let her cry it out. A couple of weeks of this boot camp and you are made in the shade. Her schedule will flip from being awake all day at your house to being awake a bit more in the evenings. The key to this is consistency.
Good luck.

[E Daycare]

You know, I used to work at preschools years ago before I got into the marketing field I was in before I had my son and I dont remember it being like this. Then again I keep trying to listen to my husband when he says "ITS YOUR BUSINESS! You fix it".

Ill be thinking of all this tomorrow, thanks!