Help, I'm Losing This Power Struggle!

[Luna]

I have a 2 1/2 year old dcg who is potty trained except for naps & at night, and has never had an accident in her pants. She wears a diaper for naps and at night. The problem is that EVERY DAY she poops right after she is put down for her nap. Her Mom says she does the same thing at night. I put her down for nap & tell her "come out & go to the potty if you need to poop", she says okay, I leave. Within 10 minutes she walks out of the room & tells me "I pooped". I have tried returning & asking her if she needs to go every couple of minutes, until she tells me she already pooped. I have tried leaving her in her bare bum for nap and she doesn't poop at all, but she pees on her cot. I have tried keeping her up a few minutes longer to see if her body clock kicks in. She always sits on the potty before she goes for nap, but she rarely poops then.
She is clearly winning this battle. There must be a way I can outsmart this toddler!!!

[nikia]

Okay I hate to admit this but when my daughter was two she wanted to use the big potty to poop and she fell in and got stuck, I mean legs in the air, arms and head out but she was stuck in the toilet. So she was afraid to sit on the any toilet to poop and would only go in her pull up. Has anything like this happened? :: Im sorry its not funny but maybe she has a real fear of pooping in a toilet.

[Luna]

She has pooped in the potty many times at other times of the day, so it isn't that. There seems to be something about naptime & wearing a diaper that activates her pooper.

[jen]

Is she wet after nap? If not, what do you think would happen if you put her down without the diaper? Would she poop in her undies?

[TGT09]

I wonder if you put her in the pull-up BEFORE nap for a bit and see what happens.

[Live and Learn]

I assume that you are saying "potty time" and sitting her on the potty before nap. If you are then don't make it a big deal. This to shall "pass"! It is only a power struggle if you are buying into it....disengage. Let's face it...you can't make her poo!

[Luna]

She sometimes is, sometimes isn't wet after nap. I have put her down without the diaper (or pants, I was thinking it would be one less thing to clean up if she did poop) and she didn't poop, but she peed her cot. What I really want is for her to come out & go to the potty. She's still awake, because she comes & tells me she pooped.

[Luna]

I wonder if you put her in the pull-up BEFORE nap for a bit and see what happens.

Oooh that sounds like it might work! I'll try that tomorrow. The pooping has been done for today.

[nannyde]

I've seen this before maybe five/six times.

I would just put her in a diaper and then go check her... and put a fresh one on her. I wouldn't worry about it. She'll eventually get it.

I would make sure she eats lunch WELL before nap. I do an hour before nap so they all have time to dump the load.

The total calm and nothingness of lying there at the top of nap with warm snuggly diaper on her is stimulating her to go. You can't do anything about it.

[Luna]

Thanks for all of the responses

I love this forum!

[kidkair]

Promise her something really really special if she goes BM on the potty. I had issues with a 23 month old starting her BM in her pants and them not wanting to finish on the potty which would result in another accident later on. I just always reminded her that if she BMs on the potty she gets to play with the puppet. The puppet I have is very special because it is the only thing in the whole daycare that has batteries. It sings a song from The Sound Of Music. I put my hand in and get it to sing through the song once and then she gets to hold on to it until she wants to play with some thing else. Then it goes back to the bathroom to wait until next time. It took a month but she got it today with no accidents at all! The last two days she's finished on the potty and still gotten the puppet. Pick something for her to play with only after a BM on the potty and remind her constantly about it. Every time she pees on the potty as if she has to BM too and remind her about the special toy. Good Luck!

[MyAngels]

I've seen this before maybe five/six times.

I would just put her in a diaper and then go check her... and put a fresh one on her. I wouldn't worry about it. She'll eventually get it.

I would make sure she eats lunch WELL before nap. I do an hour before nap so they all have time to dump the load.

The total calm and nothingness of lying there at the top of nap with warm snuggly diaper on her is stimulating her to go. You can't do anything about it.

This would be my first thought, too. She's probably just starting to relax to go to sleep, and then goes. She will most likely outgrow it with time.

[marniewon]

This would be my first thought, too. She's probably just starting to relax to go to sleep, and then goes. She will most likely outgrow it with time.

I have a little dcb, not potty trained yet, but he does the same thing. Hardly poops at all during the day, but right after he falls asleep, he lets go. Every nap, every day

[grandmom]

Two things we can never control.

What they eat.

When it comes out.

Don't engage in this battle. The emotional trauma to a child can leave scars for their lifetime (irritable bowel syndrome).

Good luck.

[Luna]

I don't really want to fight her on this, I guess I was hoping there was something I could be doing differently. I'm going to grin & bear it and keep cleaning her up & putting her back down and let this thing run it's course. Thanks everyone, all of the advice is much appreciated.