Curious about time outs

[Josiegirl]

Do you find they work with most kids? What about the kids it doesn't work for, what do you do with them? What infractions do you use TO for? What age do you believe you should start using TO's?
I'm simply curious as to how everybody uses them in their daycares. I'm sure we're all different.

[Play Care]

Do you find they work with most kids? What about the kids it doesn't work for, what do you do with them? What infractions do you use TO for? What age do you believe you should start using TO's?
I'm simply curious as to how everybody uses them in their daycares. I'm sure we're all different.

I use TO's for purposefully aggressive behavior (hitting, pushing, and depending on the age, for biting) I rarely have to use it. I don't believe in TO's until about 2 - 2 1/2 - depends on the maturity of the child. I've had some bright just 2's who knew and understood what TO was, and more importantly, why they were in it:: I've had other kids that it was closer to 3 before they seemed to get it.
I find that those who don't understand TO tend to be more immature in general and therefore require active supervision at all times and need to be "put up" when I can't. Also being proactive and knowing when to change up activities before frustration mounts seems to be key.

My 5 yo dcb did have a TO yesterday because he pushed his brother for being in "his" space, even though he had just been calling him over so he could hug him they were standing on the railroad ties that separate my swing set from the yard (keeping the mulch in the swing area) so the brother went flying...

[Angelsj]

For any child from around 2 to about 4-5, we use them as a "reset." The child is too wound up or too upset to continue the activities, so we just take a break. Sit down, deep breathe and relax. This depends on the child, but even my most difficult kid only takes about 5 mins at most.

Older kids who know darn well what rule they are breaking get to sit for one minute per year (after the crying, fighting, whatever is over.) Then we talk about what happened and what THEY are going to change so that this issue does not come back up. What are some other approaches they could have taken? Sometimes all the kids get involved with ideas.

Once a child realizes I can and will use a TO, I only need it rarely. I don't think anyone has needed one in probably 6 months, except as a "break," and that child is learning to deep breathe and relax on his own, so even for him, it has been probably 2 months.

[cheerfuldom]

I dont use traditional timed time-outs. I find them hugely ineffective. I will have a "cry corner" for criers or other emotional outbursts. they are directed to a spot with a quiet activity and can join the group whenever they feel ready.

I do not keep kids that are continually aggressive or otherwise out of control. I am not going to struggle with a kid trying to get them to stay in time out or be confrontational about it. Either they can fit in here or they cant.

Now as for recommendations for providers that have to deal with aggressive and really wild kids, I have no ideas for you because I don't deal with it from DC kids and I don't allow it from my kids.

[preschoolteacher]

After lots of problematic behavior here, I finally came up with a solution that works for my two year olds. I got the idea from the forum!

It goes like this:

Child breaks rule (grabs toy, throws toy, climbs on table, anything except physical aggression). Child receives a verbal redirection: "toys are for playing. Please don't throw." If child responds to redirection, we do nothing more.

If child persists in throwing toys, etc., or if child screams/tantrums because I asked them to stop, they are gently directed to play in a new part of the room. If they were by the blocks, they go to the play kitchen. Anywhere else. It's a re-set. Like before, if the behavior ends, we are done. They can re-enter the area they had been at after just a few minutes or even right away if they are following rules and not tantruming.

If the behavior persists or tantrums escalate and becoming disruptive, the child leaves the playroom. They can have their emotions, but the other kids don't need to have someone screaming right by them. They go in the kitchen off the playroom with 1-3 boring toys. Not favorites. They can see all the fun that's happening in the playroom, but besides calmly explaining the rules and that they can call down and come back once they're done, I "ignore" them. Once they calm down, they can rejoin us.

Once I started this, they really started catching on. We have fewer problems. Tantrums haven't lasted more than five minutes!

[Blackcat31]

I dont use traditional timed time-outs. I find them hugely ineffective. I will have a "cry corner" for criers or other emotional outbursts. they are directed to a spot with a quiet activity and can join the group whenever they feel ready.

I do not keep kids that are continually aggressive or otherwise out of control. I am not going to struggle with a kid trying to get them to stay in time out or be confrontational about it. Either they can fit in here or they cant.

Now as for recommendations for providers that have to deal with aggressive and really wild kids, I have no ideas for you because I don't deal with it from DC kids and I don't allow it from my kids.

Same here.

I don't use TO's. I will correct and redirect. Sometimes together and sometimes separately depending on the child/situation.

I also have an area where they can sit and "feel" however they choose to feel without affecting the others.

Aggressive/violent or physical behaviors are simply not tolerated and rectified immediately. I've termed a kid for hitting a second time within a week because I just don't want to deal with those types of behaviors.

It can rock an entire group and "infest" it like a bad case of HFM.