Special Needs In Your Own Children And Informing DCPs?

[MG&Lsmom]

Would you say something to a prospective parent about your own child's disability?

My oldest DD (7yo and in school 7:45-3) has autism. She's high functioning, more Asperger's than autism actually, and at quick glance doesn't appear different. Normally we get through the day without too much difficultly and more importantly when any of my DCKs are around, she's not here. Most of my dropins know full well about her and have seen her "outbursts".

I interviewed a family on Saturday and DD was of course around and having one of the hardest days she's had in months. I didn't say anything to mom about her, just excused myself and dealt with DD and came back to the conversation. She definitely noticed and seemed unsure about what had just happened, but in the end she's decided to send her DS here. I feel like I should say something like "I know M had an outburst while you were here and I wanted to let you know why. She has autism and that was a bad day for her. blah blah blah".

But then on the other hand I don't feel like I should have to say anything. This is an ASD mom thing. I'm just tired of explaining why she is the way she is to people who don't understand. Not something that's going to go away, just something I'm tired of doing atm. We just had her annual meeting at school and it's just depressing me this month.

[boysx5]

I have a son with aspergers and I never say anything in the interview he is almost nine and goes to school all day I have mentioned to some dcp what he has but for the most part he is not here all that much with the daycare kids and loves them and is my helper if he does have an outburst I do have my older sons deal with him for me or my dh is home to help. Its hard when others don't understand what it is like to have a child like that I know if my friends don't get it sometimes sorry to ramble on an on

[safechner]

I have an almost 10 years old daughter who have PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorders). She is not aggressive or hurt any kids in my care. She goes to school from 745am to 4pm everyday. Most of my daycare parents dont ever noticed her. I dont tell them right away in the interview. In the past, most of my daycare parents do know about her but they understand. They like her a lot because she usually likes to hug them at pick up.

You dont have to tell them. It shouldn't bother them anyways.

[Unregistered]

Hi, I've been posting as unregistered for a while now but have decided to join the group as a registered member.

I have a son who has Asperger's and is very high functioning. He's older now - 19 and attending college. When he was younger, I didn't feel it was necessary to mention his diagnosis with the day care parents during interviews. Usually his behavior wasn't an issue so it didn't impact the other kids in any way. On the few occassions he had a meltdown or hand-flapped in front of a parent, I would explain what was going on. I preferred they understand his disorder vs. think of him as strange or a brat.

At this point, because he's older and has little contact with the kids other than just being present in our home, I rarely mention it. Since you're from Central MA, you may be aware of the AS teen who killed a fellow classmate at his high school. I'm a little afraid that people who don't have any experience with AS and who only have heard of AS through this news story may equate my son with that boy and be fearful of leaving their child in my care.

On a personal note, I know how depressing (and frustrating!) those IEP meetings at school can be. There were many times I thought I'd never get through my son's school years with my sanity intact and I still worry about him in ways I don't have to worry about my slightly younger, NT daughter. The improvements he's made over the years, though, have been tremendous. The younger years were definitely the hardest to get through. Hang in there and take one day at a time.

[e.j.]

Hi, I've been posting as unregistered for a while now but have decided to join the group as a registered member.

I have a son who has Asperger's and is very high functioning. He's older now - 19 and attending college. When he was younger, I didn't feel it was necessary to mention his diagnosis with the day care parents during interviews. Usually his behavior wasn't an issue so it didn't impact the other kids in any way. On the few occassions he had a meltdown or hand-flapped in front of a parent, I would explain what was going on. I preferred they understand his disorder vs. think of him as strange or a brat.

At this point, because he's older and has little contact with the kids other than just being present in our home, I rarely mention it. Since you're from Central MA, you may be aware of the AS teen who killed a fellow classmate at his high school. I'm a little afraid that people who don't have any experience with AS and who only have heard of AS through this news story may equate my son with that boy and be fearful of leaving their child in my care.

On a personal note, I know how depressing (and frustrating!) those IEP meetings at school can be. There were many times I thought I'd never get through my son's school years with my sanity intact and I still worry about him in ways I don't have to worry about my slightly younger, NT daughter. The improvements he's made over the years, though, have been tremendous. The younger years were definitely the hardest to get through. Hang in there and take one day at a time.

Oops! I goofed and didn't sign in! Sorry about that. Hopefully, if I've signed in correctly this time, this reply will be under my username.