Transporting kiddos

[Jack Sprat]

I have a 3 month old dcb. He has been with me since he was 8 weeks old. His parents are our neighbors and friends. When dcm found out she was pregnant she came over and visited with me about daycare etc. She knows my program well and it has been going great. Until last weekend. I was installing car seats in my van so I can drive 4 blocks when its too hot to walk to pick up DD from school. I texted dcm asking her if she wanted me to use her carrier car seat or mine. She texted back that she or DH would pick up dcb before we left to go to the school. What I find so frustrating is she signed the off premises form giving permission to drive or walk to the school. Now she isn't wanting him to go anywhere by vehicle. In the winter when its too cold to go out to play we go to Wal-Mart just to get out for a few hours or to a local Parents as Teachers playgroup. I fear that she will not ever agree to let him ride in my vehicle so we will be house bound the entire winter. All my other families are thrilled that we go out and about and have no problem at all with this. I feel like this isn't fair to me or my other families. I want to ask her but, not sure how or when.

Honestly, if they don't agree to it then I think I would term. I don't want to but, at same time I don't feel that I should change my program for one family. This is their first child. She did mention having an issue with her own mother driving with him as well.

Am I being unreasonable? How do I go about this?

[BrooklynM]

Did she actually say "I don't want you to drive my baby"? Is this their first baby? 3 months old still is so new and fragile. Maybe the parents are just really nervous, I can probably imagine how they would feel, but if you explained it to them before they started then they should have been upfront with you, although sometimes we don't know how to feel about something until it happens.

I would have a heart to heart with the new momma. Maybe invite her to come along sometime or check the carseat to make sure she can feel it is secure and you know how to properly install. I wouldn't think about terming quite yet. I know for me the 3 month mark after I had both of my babies were times when I was very emotional and probably a little over protective.

[Jack Sprat]

No, she never came out and said it. I did assume it (I know, I know) since DCD is picking up dcb and has never picked up or dropped off nor watched the dcb for more then 20 minutes alone. That is what got me thinking that they may never change their minds on this.

I'm trying to understand how she feels and take into consideration that this is their first and his age. I do wish she would be upfront with me about it though.

[Heidi]

Like so many other things, you need to make your policy and she can either be okay with it or be a good consumer and go elsewhere. No hard feelings needed. Just "I understand how you feel, but this is not negotiable. We NEED to get out sometimes, and it's part of how I run my program. So, if that won't work for you, then I would be happy to help you find someone else".

I really think you need to ask her if it's going to be a problem. What you don't want is her recinding permission, saying someone will come get her, and then, when someone is late, YOU can't go get your kid from school, or risk taking baby without permission. She could easily put you in a precarious situation.

Didn't something similar blow up with a dcp (on the site) here earlier this year?

[Jack Sprat]

Not sure about anything like this on here earlier in the year. And yes, that was my concern as well late picking up...I do have a plan to call school if dcd is late and then call DH so he can try and pick DD up. There is no way I would take him if I don't have permission.

[Blackcat31]

Didn't something similar blow up with a dcp (on the site) here earlier this year?

Yes, there was a rather "hot" thread about a provider who transported a child without written permission from the parent.

The parent, I believe was not there to pick up on time so the provider just left with the child and the parent was livid but the provider felt she was within her rights to take the child because the parent knew the provider needed to be somewhere at a certain time and refused or couldn't (?) be there to get the child.


OP~ I would simply tell the parents that regular outings (BOTH planned and spontaneous) are a part of your program.

The parent needs to agree to that OR find alternate care.

I would NEVER agree to notifying the parent each time you want to go somewhere so they can come pick up,....I can see that heading south fast the first time the parent can't get there by a certain time and you growing resentful of having to call and then wait every time you want to take the kids somewhere.

[BrooklynM]

Here's something you might try to make the mom come out and say- no, I don't want you to drive my baby...tell her about a time in the morning or something where you guys will be going somewhere (plan something, anything) and ask her about the carseat again. Make sure its not a time when either one can pick up so the mom literally has to come out and say "I'm not comfortable with that" or something along those lines. Act like you aren't "catching on" to her not wanting her baby driven, especially since you had her permission beforehand. I don't think given that she didn't come out and say something that you should bring it up yet. Give her another test and see how she does...??

[Jack Sprat]

Sooo... a day after I posted this DCD was late picking up dcb. DCM asked DCD to pick him up and he "forgot". I looked out our window to see him drinking beer with his buddy in the driveway. I called DCM to see if he was picking up. He did and was not happy at all. Didn't take it out on me but, expressed large amounts of frustration with DCM. I simply smiled and said "If she would agree to let him ride in my vehicle then this wouldn't be an issue." He said nothing but, grunted and left. Today I close early. He is suppose to pick up today. We shall see, he gets off work early on Fridays so I would hope he is on time.