Terming - Feeling Terrible

[Baby Beluga]

I just started a full time child a few weeks ago. He happens to be my only full timer at the moment. Yesterday my DH informed me that he wanted to split. I make about 7k a year doing inhome, certainly not enough to support myself. I am having to give a term notice today with the last day of me providing care in to weeks so I can start interviewing and hopefully get a full time job.

I feel awful. Please tell me this is okay and I am not a horrible person for having to do this.

[Blackcat31]

I just started a full time child a few weeks ago. He happens to be my only full timer at the moment. Yesterday my DH informed me that he wanted to split. I make about 7k a year doing inhome, certainly not enough to support myself. I am having to give a term notice today with the last day of me providing care in to weeks so I can start interviewing and hopefully get a full time job.

I feel awful. Please tell me this is okay and I am not a horrible person for having to do this.

:hug: :hug:

You gotta do what you gotta do to take care of you!

Doesn't mean you can't re-visit the idea of having an in-home child care again in the future.

Hang in there and NO, YOU ARE NOT AN AWFUL PERSON!!! :hug:

[TickleMonster]

You are not a horrible person at all!! You have to do what is best for you. May I make a suggestion though? We went through a situation a few months ago where we were not making enough to live on. We considered closing but we had many long time clients who were very understanding and didnt want to lose us so we just upped everyone rates. They were happy to pay the extra fee. Is this a possiblity for you and your clients? Or see if some of your parttimers want to switch to fulltime? Just a thought if you dont want to close. Either way, good luck!!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

You are not a horrible person at all!! You have to do what is best for you. May I make a suggestion though? We went through a situation a few months ago where we were not making enough to live on. We considered closing but we had many long time clients who were very understanding and didnt want to lose us so we just upped everyone rates. They were happy to pay the extra fee. Is this a possiblity for you and your clients? Or see if some of your parttimers want to switch to fulltime? Just a thought if you dont want to close. Either way, good luck!!

Yes. Is it not possible to get additional clients...raise rates...?

[Baby Beluga]

I have been trying to get additional clients, unfortunately I haven't gotten any. I am in an area of a LOT of SAHM's and all the providers in the area are needing additional children. I could raise rates, but it would not bring me up to where I need to be financially to support myself.

[Baby Beluga]

You are not a horrible person at all!! You have to do what is best for you. May I make a suggestion though? We went through a situation a few months ago where we were not making enough to live on. We considered closing but we had many long time clients who were very understanding and didnt want to lose us so we just upped everyone rates. They were happy to pay the extra fee. Is this a possiblity for you and your clients? Or see if some of your parttimers want to switch to fulltime? Just a thought if you dont want to close. Either way, good luck!!

Yes, of course! If you (or anyone else) has any suggestions, please share. Closing is my last choice, but I don't see any other option.

[midaycare]

Yesterday my DH informed me that he wanted to split.

How are you doing? Forget the dc for a minute.

[Josiegirl]

I'm sorry you're going through all this turmoil. It does turn one's life upside down. You shouldn't feel badly about telling your clients you're closing. It's due to unforeseen circumstances and happens in life. With such a high need for enrollment they'll have no problems finding another arrangement.
Wishing you the very best of luck dealing with everything you're going through. Worry about and take care of YOU.

[SSWonders]

You are not a horrible person for having to do this. Sometimes life throws a monkey wrench at us and you just have to do what you have to do. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[MommieNana4]

I am sorry that you are going through this. Is there anyway that you could do care outside of your home (date night, overnight or weekends)? I am not sure if you have kids that would impact this suggestion. Take care of yourself. All the best.

[Baby Beluga]

How are you doing? Forget the dc for a minute.

Thank you for asking and thank you everyone else for your kind comments as well.

Right now I am taking it one minute at a time, it's kinda all I can do. We have a daughter who is 2, and she has been a mess the past two days. No doubt because she can feel the tension in the house and is responding to it I am sure. He wants to live together under the same roof just with separate bedrooms. I am not sold on the idea. On one hand I feel it would benefit our daughter to have both parents available and it certainly makes better financial sense. On the other hand I think a situation like that would cause a whole lot of stress. I am mostly worried about money. I grew up in a household where it was usual for me to come home from school and the electricity or our water to be turned off for a few days. I remember my dad taking us to the gas station down the road to use the bathroom...my biggest fear is that she will have a lifelike that if he and I don't live under the same roof. I'm absolutely terrified.

[llpa]

Awww I am so sorry you are going thru this. You need to do what will make you feel comfortable and confident that you can take care of your daughter and yourself, without his help if need be. If you are already struggling to get clients then it is probably best to look for a job with a steadier income flow. I hope it all works out for you, whatever you decide. :hug:

[Baby Beluga]

I just wanted to post an update. I have been talking with my the mom of my full timer and let her in on some personal details as to what was going on. She was so sympathetic and understanding and in turn shared some of the trials her and her DH have gone through.

She even went to the extent of saying she would help promote me, aid in getting new clients, offered to put me in touch with a graphic designer at her school to help with fliers, etc. She said I was the best thing for her child and she didn't want to lose me. Her husband even offered me a room in their house and to run DC out of their house. Now living with them is not an offer I would take, and I am sure he doesn't know how extensive running a DC can be - but it was the thought that counted for me. Here's to hoping things will work out after all.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I feel for you. I really do. I'm sorry to say, but I can relate.
Do you want to split up with him also? Or is it just him?
Have you considered counseling, or is it just too far gone for that?
I'm sorry you are going through this. You can pm me, I have an extremely sympathetic ear.

[Josiegirl]

What a nice dcf you have! If you want to stay in dc, they may very well be able to help make that happen. A wonderful dcf spreading a good word for you is one of the best forms of advertisement you can ever have! Plus are you listed with your local child care resource association? Maybe offer something unique in your dc that might be just the extra edge.