Concerns, LONG

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  • daycare
    Advanced Daycare.com *********
    • Feb 2011
    • 16259

    Concerns, LONG

    I am taking a class that involves a coach that comes to my home to make sure that I am teaching the sate curriculum the right way, preparing each child for kindergarten.

    Part of this class requires me to do individual observations on each child, documenting and then hold a conference with the parents.

    They teach me how to conduct a conference, but I am really stuck on one child.

    I know most of you say that we are not supposed to express our concerns about things that we observe that we feel that just are not right or different, but I need to do this for this class.

    This program says that we need to be that voice and take action. We can't turn the cheek when we know something is different or just not right.

    Well the one child that I am observing has been in my care for over 3 years. The child is almost 5...... Since being in my program, SLEEP has been a huge issue. I have talked to the parents about it a million times. We have never had a sit down face to face conference, but we have talked about it on the phone, email and in brief at pick up. The issue has never been resolved.

    I have posted about it before.

    Eventually, the parents did bring it up to their doc and even got melatonin but the lowest % possible and it did nothing. They saw it not working and gave up on it. They refuse to give a higher dosage than .05%...........

    The child suffers from sleep exhaustion and often will almost pass out when here. I don't with hold sleep, so I let the child sleep as much or as little as they want. There are days that the child will go without napping when here and still won't go to bed at night. The child does not sleep on the weekends and still goes to bed at 11pm or later. the child does everything under the sun to stimulate themselves to NOT fall asleep.

    In the past, I have drawn up an entire bedtime routine for the family trying to work with them to resolve this issue, but it is getting worse.

    NOW the issue is getting out of hand. OFten the child is staying home from preschool because the parents are not getting him to bed until after midnight and he can't wake in the morning. This leads to massive behavior issues in the morning.

    In the past, the child would show up screaming at the top of their lungs out of control the second they got out of the car, but I said that can not happen anymore and that they needed to gain full control of the childs emotions before dropping. Well now the child is getting dropped off an hour or so later due to behavior. To me, it sounds like it's 100% behavior issues, the parents are MUCH MUCH older and have no control over their kids..... the little sister is the same way.

    Ok, so here is where you guys can help me. I need to set up a conference with the parents addressing this issue. I need to stay positive, only give facts, point out my observations, show proof of my observations and then see how working together with the family I can help resolve this issue. I am graded on my plan, not the actual outcome of what the parents decide to do.

    The program wants to see that I am trying to help set the child up to be successful when leaving my program for kindergarten. I have already failed once in the past by setting up the bed time routine, having them talk to their doctor ( who is not concerned about it at all) I feel I have expressed it every way I know how. What other approaches can I take???

    Ihope that I was able to explain myself the right way, but if you had to do this, how would you do it. I feel like I have visited this matter over a million times in the past only to beat a dead horse.

    Now that I have to do this for a class, I don't even know what to do.

    Thank you for reading this and any input........
  • EntropyControlSpecialist
    Embracing the chaos.
    • Mar 2012
    • 7466

    #2
    Hmmm that IS hard. Could you just re-try a plan you used in the past so at least THEIR bad choices for their child aren't effecting YOUR grade with the state?

    Comment

    • Blackcat31
      • Oct 2010
      • 36124

      #3
      You are already doing YOUR part.

      You are suppose to give facts and observations about the child.

      You are suppose to give suggestions and resources for the parents.

      You did all of that.

      The parents have a responsibility in this too.

      You did your part.

      You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink.

      Comment

      • daycare
        Advanced Daycare.com *********
        • Feb 2011
        • 16259

        #4
        Originally posted by Blackcat31
        You are already doing YOUR part.

        You are suppose to give facts and observations about the child.

        You are suppose to give suggestions and resources for the parents.

        You did all of that.

        The parents have a responsibility in this too.

        You did your part.

        You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink.
        but its for a class...I have to come up with a plan of action that I have not already used. I have to set up an full documented conference with the parents.

        I have to write out the full plan, write down what I will discuss and how. What resources I will use and deliver a positive conference.

        Comment

        • Little Buttons
          Little Buttons
          • Apr 2014
          • 87

          #5
          I agree with the previous posts in that you have done your part even of they have not followed through.

          However, you are taking a class and you are looking for suggestions on how to approach them. My advice is to focus on the requirements for you to pass your class. Do not concern yourself with the outcome, as you already said that does not affect your grade. Concern yourself with drafting a plan and a parent conference that will earn you the grade you desire. The way you conduct yourself in the conference is what is being judged, not how they will choose to handle your reccomendations.

          Are you concerned that you'll lose them as a client? Are you out of ideas as far as what to suggest further for a new plan?

          Comment

          • Blackcat31
            • Oct 2010
            • 36124

            #6
            Originally posted by daycare
            but its for a class...I have to come up with a plan of action that I have not already used. I have to set up an full documented conference with the parents.

            I have to write out the full plan, write down what I will discuss and how. What resources I will use and deliver a positive conference.
            How does the instructor know you've already tried a certain written plan before?

            If you have already exhausted all efforts with this family then you have to use a plan you've already used.

            Its an unfair expectation by the teacher if this is a family you've been working with on an on going basis and you're an experienced provider so it's more than likely that you'd have already observed, developed a plan of action and conferenced with tne parents.

            When I did this in college, we were allowed to use past experiences/previous documentation fulfill assignments.

            Bummer if you arent allowed to do that.

            Comment

            • craftymissbeth
              Legally Unlicensed
              • May 2012
              • 2385

              #7
              Is this a college course? Is it common for instructors of classes or trainings (of any kind) to get so involved with decisions like this?

              Comment

              • Daycaregranny
                Daycare.com Member
                • Nov 2013
                • 56

                #8
                I'm not quit sure what you are looking for but.... 1.) review with parents past recommendations. 2) what was the outcome of those recommendations 3) final suggestion..maybe try looking into the child's diet? Allergy's from foods? My friends daughter had similar problems with sleep. After going to the doctor she was hesitant to put her child on medications referred to her and went to a sleep clinic. She was asked to try eating a half of a banana and then doing a leg message with lavender oil. Strangely enough a couple weeks later she was much improved.

                Comment

                • NightOwl
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Mar 2014
                  • 2722

                  #9
                  I'm not sure if this could be incorporated into your conference as a new suggestion or plan of action, but it sounds like this child needs a sleep specialist and a sleep study done.

                  Comment

                  • hope
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Feb 2013
                    • 1513

                    #10
                    You gave the parents a bed time routine for the kids already. Why not make a routine for the parents in conjunction. Maybe a list of Dos and dont's. Maybe a survey of sorts like when my child goes to sleep at x time he wakes at x time. What negative affects does this have on him. Have them spell it out in their own words to read. Do all this in you new plan as an addition to a sit down talk with them.

                    Comment

                    • Thriftylady
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Aug 2014
                      • 5884

                      #11
                      I agree that you are going to have to re-use something. I hate it when parents won't do what their child needs. If they would just give him regular bedtimes it would probably help a ton.

                      Comment

                      • daycare
                        Advanced Daycare.com *********
                        • Feb 2011
                        • 16259

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Little Buttons
                        I agree with the previous posts in that you have done your part even of they have not followed through.

                        However, you are taking a class and you are looking for suggestions on how to approach them. My advice is to focus on the requirements for you to pass your class. Do not concern yourself with the outcome, as you already said that does not affect your grade. Concern yourself with drafting a plan and a parent conference that will earn you the grade you desire. The way you conduct yourself in the conference is what is being judged, not how they will choose to handle your reccomendations.

                        Are you concerned that you'll lose them as a client? Are you out of ideas as far as what to suggest further for a new plan?
                        thank you so much for your ideas. Yes, I am out of ideas of what to say for my plan. I fell like I have already said all there is to say and it would be me beating a dead horse just saying what I have already said. The parents don't know that I am graded on this, they just know that it is part of my requirements to keep my certification.

                        I am out of things to suggest or say.....

                        Comment

                        • daycare
                          Advanced Daycare.com *********
                          • Feb 2011
                          • 16259

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Blackcat31
                          How does the instructor know you've already tried a certain written plan before?

                          If you have already exhausted all efforts with this family then you have to use a plan you've already used.

                          Its an unfair expectation by the teacher if this is a family you've been working with on an on going basis and you're an experienced provider so it's more than likely that you'd have already observed, developed a plan of action and conferenced with tne parents.

                          When I did this in college, we were allowed to use past experiences/previous documentation fulfill assignments.

                          Bummer if you arent allowed to do that.
                          well the coach knows that I have already had talked to them about it, but I have never had a face to face conference, so it does not qualify as already been done.

                          She does know what I have documented from the past, so she knows what I have discussed with the family.

                          I am soooo out of ideas. I feel that anything I say to the parents has already been said by me.

                          Other than, go see your pedi doc talk to them about MY/Your concerns that your child is not sleeping

                          and coming up with a full detailed bed time routine, I don't know what else to suggest.....

                          I think that my coach chose this situation because I don't really have any other situations that are at this level of difficulty.

                          Comment

                          • daycare
                            Advanced Daycare.com *********
                            • Feb 2011
                            • 16259

                            #14
                            Originally posted by craftymissbeth
                            Is this a college course? Is it common for instructors of classes or trainings (of any kind) to get so involved with decisions like this?
                            its part of the state program that I am working with that we are required to learn how to conduct face to face conferences 2x a year with the parents or when there is a developmental concern or possible behavioral issues that I can not fix.

                            I am required to track progress and do 2 evals through out the year as well. I use these in my conferences with the parents.

                            Comment

                            • daycare
                              Advanced Daycare.com *********
                              • Feb 2011
                              • 16259

                              #15
                              Originally posted by hope
                              You gave the parents a bed time routine for the kids already. Why not make a routine for the parents in conjunction. Maybe a list of Dos and dont's. Maybe a survey of sorts like when my child goes to sleep at x time he wakes at x time. What negative affects does this have on him. Have them spell it out in their own words to read. Do all this in you new plan as an addition to a sit down talk with them.
                              thank you. I have not done that yet, so that is something that I can use.

                              Love it

                              Comment

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