Help! Non-stop Whining

[sariejohnston]

here is a review of my day....
12:00- Walk in to the classroom, The student is crying and throwing a fit, the teacher that was there for morning was taking care of the situation.
1:00- Nap time: The student Whining because her eye hurts (eyelash, she is dramatic), and one of the student's leaves and she didn't get to give her a hug goodbye.
1:20-Whining that she wants to play at the play-doh center during center time, I told her we will discuss it after nap time.
1:30-Whining because she wants to look at a books (I told her I will pass them out in a little while after they lay down for a little while longer, that wasn't good enough she kept crying and throwing a fit)
2:00-Whinning that she didn't get the book she wanted (The book she wanted was broken and I told her I had to fix it, that was not good enough she wanted it now, I ended up fixing it the best I could and gave it to her)
2:35-Cots up bathroom break whining because she didn't want to go to the bathroom she wanted to do center time.
2:40-the Student is whining again because we are doing Bible story instead of center time.
3:15-Center time she starts whining because she cannot get the play dough to go throw the spaghetti hair tool.
4:30-Starts whining that she wants a Gummie Bear, I told her not at the moment.
5:00 - Back to free play time (Starts Whining that she wants a surprise out of the surprise bucket, I told her she needed three good behavior coins to get a surprise out of the bucket she throw a massive fit, Sent her to directors office she came back fine until she saw me and started acting out again)

5:30- I got down at her level told her she needed to follow directions, stop whining and throwing fits because she is a big girl. that did not help that situation she kept throwing a fit I finally gave in because I could not handle the whining and crying any more.
5:45-Story time- Gave out gummie bears to the kids that were sitting quietly and still she started whining that I didn't give one to her first, Then after I gave her one finally she started whining that she wanted another one.

6:00 her surprise she got (candy) broke because she was playing with it, she wanted to trade it I told her No that is what she picked out she has to keep it, she started whining that she wanted a new one, I told her that she has to follow the rules and if she did not like it then we will not do surprises anymore. she stopped and then she was picked up... I'm Completely at a loss to do with this girl! She whines all day long and if she doesn't get her way she will keep whining until she gets her way. I don't want to reward bad behavior and I don't know what to do anymore and I taken all I can. Please help!!

[preschoolteacher]

How old is she?

[racemom]

I usually tell them I can't understand whining and when they are done and can tell me in a big girl voice I will be happy to help her. And then ignore her, if it escalates I have a chair they sit in until they calm down. It is hard to listen to, but every time you give in she learns that whining works and so she will continue. Remember kids (and people in general) do what works best for themselves.

[jenboo]

I usually tell them I can't understand whining and when they are done and can tell me in a big girl voice I will be happy to help her. And then ignore her, if it escalates I have a chair they sit in until they calm down. It is hard to listen to, but every time you give in she learns that whining works and so she will continue. Remember kids (and people in general) do what works best for themselves.

Exactly, if you want it to stop you cannot give in. She has learned that if she continues, then she gets anything she wants.
I would tell her you don't understand whining and she needs to use her big girl voice. If she continues, send her to the whiny corner and she has to stay there until she stops.

[Josiegirl]

You have my sympathy! I detest whining! Yes, it's working for her so she'll keep doing it.
I have a dcg turning 6 soon. She likes to bring blankets, dolls, whatever, from home(another whole topic) and her mother says 'if you want to bring something you have to carry it yourself'. I totally agree as poor dcm is already loaded down like a pack mule. The other day at pick up dcg laid on the floor and started crying cause she 'couldn't carry' her blankets. After about 30 seconds dcm gave in, just to get her out the door. I sooo wanted to say 'well that worked dcg, didn't it?'

And I have a 3 1/2 yo dcg who will have an all-out tantrum over the smallest silliest stuff. So I started the 1-2-3 method and now she knows if I start counting, she will lose a privilege. It takes her a minute but she's able to regain some control herself.

Ugh, the whining feels like someone's sticking toothpicks under your fingernails. Ignoring and not rewarding her behavior will go a long way. Easier said than done.

I have Schoolagers here this summer that are wannabe mommies and most of the time they're a huge help! But they play right into this overly nurturing coddling role way too much and I just tell them don't give the dck an audience. I have plastic plates we use for lunch, different shapes. Well, as it happens I only have 2 of a shape that seems to be coveted. Older kids give into who wants what and one day they saw why that wasn't a good idea as everyone started battling for those 2 plates. I just looked at them and said 'see? THIS is why I don't do that'

[Josiegirl]

I just thought of something that worked during one of our more 'naughty' periods for some of the dcks.
I made individual charts for each of them. They picked 3 behaviors they thought they needed to work on, some picked jumping on the furniture, saying bad words, you could use whining. Then they got a star for each day they followed the rules and didn't do those particular actions. IIRC, they received a star for each day and each action so they could earn 3 stars a day.
I had a box of cheapie dollar store items for them to pick from after they earned something like 20 stars.
You can tweak it as needed. Or ignore her whining and every time you catch her asking for something nicely, etc., give her a sticker to place on a chart and after however many stickers, let her take a trip to the prize box.
One of my dcms was more than happy to help me with the prize box cost because her ds was a behavior issue at the time.
OR I've seen ideas online about making a huge gumball poster and when you catch anyone being good(sharing, using manners) they get to add a gumball to the poster. Then when it's filled up you get to have an ice cream or pizza party. No one is singled out and hopefully, the other kids' good behavior will rub off onto whiner kid.
Good luck, it's so annoying.

[sariejohnston]

she is 4.

[sariejohnston]

Thank you so much for the tips! I do not want to give in anymore, I am done with the whining and the fit throwing! I want her to understand that she doesn't always get what she wants and if she throws a fit she will have to face the consequences of her actions. Thanks for the tips!

[NightOwl]

Thank you so much for the tips! I do not want to give in anymore, I am done with the whining and the fit throwing! I want her to understand that she doesn't always get what she wants and if she throws a fit she will have to face the consequences of her actions. Thanks for the tips!

Kids only use behaviors that are paying off. Whining gets her what she wants AND your attention. Remove both "pay offs" immediately! You'll be so glad you did. It will take a few days maybe, but this always works for me.

[Angelsj]

here is a review of my day....
12:00- Walk in to the classroom, The student is crying and throwing a fit, the teacher that was there for morning was taking care of the situation.
1:00- Nap time: The student Whining because her eye hurts (eyelash, she is dramatic), and one of the student's leaves and she didn't get to give her a hug goodbye.
1:20-Whining that she wants to play at the play-doh center during center time, I told her we will discuss it after nap time.
1:30-Whining because she wants to look at a books (I told her I will pass them out in a little while after they lay down for a little while longer, that wasn't good enough she kept crying and throwing a fit)
2:00-Whinning that she didn't get the book she wanted (The book she wanted was broken and I told her I had to fix it, that was not good enough she wanted it now, I ended up fixing it the best I could and gave it to her)
2:35-Cots up bathroom break whining because she didn't want to go to the bathroom she wanted to do center time.
2:40-the Student is whining again because we are doing Bible story instead of center time.
3:15-Center time she starts whining because she cannot get the play dough to go throw the spaghetti hair tool.
4:30-Starts whining that she wants a Gummie Bear, I told her not at the moment.
5:00 - Back to free play time (Starts Whining that she wants a surprise out of the surprise bucket, I told her she needed three good behavior coins to get a surprise out of the bucket she throw a massive fit, Sent her to directors office she came back fine until she saw me and started acting out again)

5:30- I got down at her level told her she needed to follow directions, stop whining and throwing fits because she is a big girl. that did not help that situation she kept throwing a fit I finally gave in because I could not handle the whining and crying any more.
5:45-Story time- Gave out gummie bears to the kids that were sitting quietly and still she started whining that I didn't give one to her first, Then after I gave her one finally she started whining that she wanted another one.

6:00 her surprise she got (candy) broke because she was playing with it, she wanted to trade it I told her No that is what she picked out she has to keep it, she started whining that she wanted a new one, I told her that she has to follow the rules and if she did not like it then we will not do surprises anymore. she stopped and then she was picked up... I'm Completely at a loss to do with this girl! She whines all day long and if she doesn't get her way she will keep whining until she gets her way. I don't want to reward bad behavior and I don't know what to do anymore and I taken all I can. Please help!!

She is being rewarded for her bad behavior. Stop feeding it, and it will eventually stop. Whining or complaining should net her nothing. Only good behavior gets prizes. Whining and fit throwing get a separation into the crying spot.

[debbiedoeszip]

here is a review of my day....
12:00- Walk in to the classroom, The student is crying and throwing a fit, the teacher that was there for morning was taking care of the situation.
1:00- Nap time: The student Whining because her eye hurts (eyelash, she is dramatic), and one of the student's leaves and she didn't get to give her a hug goodbye.
1:20-Whining that she wants to play at the play-doh center during center time, I told her we will discuss it after nap time.
1:30-Whining because she wants to look at a books (I told her I will pass them out in a little while after they lay down for a little while longer, that wasn't good enough she kept crying and throwing a fit)
2:00-Whinning that she didn't get the book she wanted (The book she wanted was broken and I told her I had to fix it, that was not good enough she wanted it now, I ended up fixing it the best I could and gave it to her)
2:35-Cots up bathroom break whining because she didn't want to go to the bathroom she wanted to do center time.
2:40-the Student is whining again because we are doing Bible story instead of center time.
3:15-Center time she starts whining because she cannot get the play dough to go throw the spaghetti hair tool.
4:30-Starts whining that she wants a Gummie Bear, I told her not at the moment.
5:00 - Back to free play time (Starts Whining that she wants a surprise out of the surprise bucket, I told her she needed three good behavior coins to get a surprise out of the bucket she throw a massive fit, Sent her to directors office she came back fine until she saw me and started acting out again)

5:30- I got down at her level told her she needed to follow directions, stop whining and throwing fits because she is a big girl. that did not help that situation she kept throwing a fit I finally gave in because I could not handle the whining and crying any more.
5:45-Story time- Gave out gummie bears to the kids that were sitting quietly and still she started whining that I didn't give one to her first, Then after I gave her one finally she started whining that she wanted another one.

6:00 her surprise she got (candy) broke because she was playing with it, she wanted to trade it I told her No that is what she picked out she has to keep it, she started whining that she wanted a new one, I told her that she has to follow the rules and if she did not like it then we will not do surprises anymore. she stopped and then she was picked up... I'm Completely at a loss to do with this girl! She whines all day long and if she doesn't get her way she will keep whining until she gets her way. I don't want to reward bad behavior and I don't know what to do anymore and I taken all I can. Please help!!

I coach kids when they are whining. They whine their request or issue, I say it back to them in a non-whiny voice, and tell them to say it like I did. I don't address their issue/request until they can say it nicely (with me helping by repetitively modeling the non-whiny voice).