4 year old cries all day

[mommyof2lilgirls]

I have a four year old little boy that is attending my home day care. I have watched him and his older sister before, but mom was laid off so I quit watching them for a few months. Mom has recently started back to work and so I began watching him again about three weeks ago. His sister is now in school so I only watch her after school. I also watch three others besides my own children. The little boy cries all day long for mommy. The only time he doesn't cry is if he is sitting on my lap, or sleeping. He usually is one of the first ones asleep. He also will not eat or drink much at my house. If I ignore his crying, it escalates to a tantrum. He will scream, stop his feet, etc. I had NO issues at all with him when I watched him before. I really do not know what to do. I don't like the fact that he misses Mommy, but I can't handle the crying anymore. One of the other children have special needs so the crying leads the child to excessive hitting and punching. Thanks for ANY ideas!!

[nannyde]

He needs his own adult. He needs someone trained to restrain him and take him to the ground when he is harming others, property, or himself. It's not safe to have him in child care where there is no adult trained and experienced in managing violence.

[KSDC]

I had a 2 year old boy who cried all day when he started. I gave him a "crying chair" It was his special spot where he was allowed to cry. It was in the kitchen. (Open floor plan, so not crying right by the other kids, but he could still see all the fun he was missing.)

If he wanted to cry, he sat in his chair. If he wanted to be with the kids doing all the fun stuff, he had to be done crying. It took a couple of weeks, but his time in the crying chair gradually lessened until he chose to spend the whole day playing.

[Cat Herder]

One of the other children have special needs so the crying leads the child to excessive hitting and punching. Thanks for ANY ideas!!

I believe this is the child Nan is referring to in her post. Kids depend on adults to protect them from violence. Even from other kids.

As for the "crying" 4 yo child: Referring him to a quiet/comfy spot until he can pull himself together for group care (like previous poster suggested) is what I also do to manage that behavior. At 4 he has the tools to do that for himself barring special needs.

[Rockgirl]

I had a 2 year old boy who cried all day when he started. I gave him a "crying chair" It was his special spot where he was allowed to cry. It was in the kitchen. (Open floor plan, so not crying right by the other kids, but he could still see all the fun he was missing.)

If he wanted to cry, he sat in his chair. If he wanted to be with the kids doing all the fun stuff, he had to be done crying. It took a couple of weeks, but his time in the crying chair gradually lessened until he chose to spend the whole day playing.

This is what I would do also.

[cheerfuldom]

i have a "crying spot" as well. I would get that set up and give things another week and then decide what to do.

[mommyof2lilgirls]

Thank you all soo much!! I have tried the idea of the crying chair today and it has worked well. When he starts to whine, I remind him where he is allowed to cry. For the most part he has stopped immediately. Since the excessive crying has stopped, the special needs child is not acting out. So far its been a great Friday!

[KatiesCorner]

At the child development center I worked at the last six years, we had a "calming corner" that had a chair, a stuffed animal, and a basket of things like a stress ball, a few glitter sensory bottles, books about emotions and some big reading center headphones without the cable so they could block out extra noise if needed. Pretty much a crying chair, but with the extra stuff it felt less like a punishment. Kids would choose to go there during centers sometime just to be alone. This was 3 and 4 year olds.

[KSDC]

At the child development center I worked at the last six years, we had a "calming corner" that had a chair, a stuffed animal, and a basket of things like a stress ball, a few glitter sensory bottles, books about emotions and some big reading center headphones without the cable so they could block out extra noise if needed. Pretty much a crying chair, but with the extra stuff it felt less like a punishment. Kids would choose to go there during centers sometime just to be alone. This was 3 and 4 year olds.

I like this. I make a point of not referring to the crying chair as a punishment in word or tone of voice. And, I make sure the child knows that they can play as soon as they are ready to be done crying. But, I like adding in some calming "accessories". Have to think on how to make this work in my layout...