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I have an almost 3 year old dcb whom I have had here since he was 18 mo. old. He has always been aggressive, he went from biting and pushing and hitting to pushing, hitting, occasionally hair pulling, always scream/crying and it is usually so stressful when he's here-for the other kids and for me. His mom and dad just went through a divorce and until this week, dcb has only been here one day out of almost 4 weeks because he had visitation with dcd, nd it was the difference between night and day! My days were smooth and wonderful! I have always wanted to term, but never did. I love dcm and thought I could help dcb, but it seems nothing has helped him with his aggression, plus he can only say a handful of legible words so that may be part of his aggression.
So after not having him all these days, he came back today. The whole time in the shower I was dreading the thought of him being here today. I even was going over scenarios in my head of what I could say to mom to term, knowing I probably wouldn't. I went about my morning getting ready routine, still dreading his arrival.
Then..Dcb and dcm arrived this morning and mom tells me that she quit her job. Total shocker, she's the project manager for our township and has mentioned how she loves her job. She said that dcb would be part time if I had an opening for that, she's going to stay home to spend time with him and maybe earn her phd. I never thought this day would come. I feel guilty being happy about it because I love dcm, but the thought of only having dcb once or twice a week is fabulous! Then she tells me how she's not sure how it's going to go because dcb was really naughty yesterday (she kept him home), hitting and kicking at home.
Now I don't have to worry about finding a way to term him, I don't have to now! I don't mind having him 1-2 times a week, but 5 days was terrible. I have to say that I did learn a valuable lesson: if a child causes you to not enjoy what you are doing, term! It's not about how much you like a parent, your sanity matters more. I should have termed a year ago!
Now I have to get up the courage to term 2 p/t families. I have to replace the f/t dcb that is leaving and my 2 p/t spots take up my 30 month and under spot, the spot that every one is looking for. It's too hard to find any children that are 30 mo and up so I have no choice. I wish I didn't have such a difficult time with this. I hate that I have to term anyone, especially when they haven't done anything wrong.
Thanks for listening to me ramble...
So after not having him all these days, he came back today. The whole time in the shower I was dreading the thought of him being here today. I even was going over scenarios in my head of what I could say to mom to term, knowing I probably wouldn't. I went about my morning getting ready routine, still dreading his arrival.
Then..Dcb and dcm arrived this morning and mom tells me that she quit her job. Total shocker, she's the project manager for our township and has mentioned how she loves her job. She said that dcb would be part time if I had an opening for that, she's going to stay home to spend time with him and maybe earn her phd. I never thought this day would come. I feel guilty being happy about it because I love dcm, but the thought of only having dcb once or twice a week is fabulous! Then she tells me how she's not sure how it's going to go because dcb was really naughty yesterday (she kept him home), hitting and kicking at home.
Now I don't have to worry about finding a way to term him, I don't have to now! I don't mind having him 1-2 times a week, but 5 days was terrible. I have to say that I did learn a valuable lesson: if a child causes you to not enjoy what you are doing, term! It's not about how much you like a parent, your sanity matters more. I should have termed a year ago!
Now I have to get up the courage to term 2 p/t families. I have to replace the f/t dcb that is leaving and my 2 p/t spots take up my 30 month and under spot, the spot that every one is looking for. It's too hard to find any children that are 30 mo and up so I have no choice. I wish I didn't have such a difficult time with this. I hate that I have to term anyone, especially when they haven't done anything wrong.
Thanks for listening to me ramble...
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