Which Family? Or

[Kabob]

My mind is keeping me up tonight so I figured I'd post my thoughts here so I can get some sleep...

I've been interviewing a lot lately so I can be very picky about the next family to enroll. I like my calm group right now as I have my 9 week old dd and am enjoying the routine I have with the toddlers.

That said, I also said no more children under 1 yo after the multiple disasters I've had with the parents not setting their infants up for success.

Anyway, I have a couple of families that are wanting to start asap that are tempting since they come with an older child. I can only pick one but there are many reasons to pick neither.

Family A: Has 8 month old and 3 yo. Full time, I think. They haven't confirmed it since it's contingent on dcd's new job. They want to sign all the paperwork at their second interview since they need care immediately but I had to schedule the second interview since only dcm attended the first one and couldn't answer the majority of my questions about the kids since dcd is the caregiver. The 3 yo only eats pb&j sandwiches. 8 month old is scooting. Dcm is not sure if they nap well. They would be here 9-10 hrs a day.

Family B: 1 yo and 2.5 yo. 1 yo is a known biter at her current daycare. 2.5 yo is speech delayed and apparently an escape artist...scaled the fence at previous daycare. Also likes to take off her diaper so parents were annoyed that their daycare asked them to send her in pants since they feel it's a lack of supervision issue. They also feel the biting is a lack of supervision issue and don't believe that their child is the biter since no one saw it and are wanting a new daycare since 1 yo gets sent home 3 or more times a week now since she bites or tries to bite 3 or more times a day (usually within the first hour) as per the daycare policy. 2.5 yo would need pick up during nap time and a second drop off during nap time due to speech therapy since dcm wants to stick to a routine. There is no routine at home (ie no nap or bedtime).

Probably not taking Family B based on their lack of routine alone...their style seems too laid back for the way I like to run things...nevermind the behavior of the children (that I haven't met).

Family A is iffy...I feel like they only want to come here due to the lack of infant openings elsewhere. She didn't seem thrilled about my rates increasing with pickup time and other policies (my sick policy for instance). The kids seemed happy though. I just don't know if I want to try an infant again so soon after swearing I'd never do it again.

Thanks for letting me ramble!

[Shell]

Definitely no to the second scenario!!! The first one sounds ok, but you need more info about just about everything. If you can afford to, maybe keep interviewing so you can find the right fit. I know when my ds was a little one, I took on an easy going 2 yr old so I could have extra time for feedings, etc and I didn't feel comfortable taking on another baby until he was over a year. Good luck!

[TwinKristi]

Family B... Just no...

Family A you need more info on before deciding, it could be a good fit if their schedule work for you .

[Josiegirl]

I agree with the others. Definitely nix on the 2nd family. There's no way you could follow a biter around while caring for an infant. And continuously disrupting naptime is a big no in my book too.

I think I'd meet with the 1st family again, ask lots of questions and if all sounds okay, try them for your 2 week trial period(or whatever it is).

Or wait for door#3.

[daycarediva]

Family A I would reinterview and make sure they understand your policies. OR wait for door #3.

[Play Care]

Family A I would reinterview and make sure they understand your policies. OR wait for door #3.

This.

[MotherNature]

Family A I would reinterview and make sure they understand your policies. OR wait for door #3.

Agreed.

[Butter Biskets]

NO WAY to number two. That family already looks like they are going to be difficult in my opinion.

[Kabob]

I'm not desperate to enroll and people are desperate for infant openings around here so I can be picky.

I only interviewed the first family because their son is close in age to my currently enrolled children. Not sure if I want to deal with two infants even if one is my own (who is super easy since I was able to put her on my daycare schedule). I also am worried that this family is expecting me to enroll them even though I clearly said and wrote that the second interview is to determine if we're a good fit for each other and to discuss my handbook and the children with dcd. No family is perfect but I just don't want to deal with the chaos an infant can cause if the parents aren't on board with a group schedule...so far my gut says no as I just am not clicking with dcm ...how would I say no to this family if the second interview doesn't go well since they are pushing to start Monday and seem to think I'm desperate or obligated to enroll them because I set up a second interview?

Sorry I ramble...neeeeeed more sleep! TGIF!

[Blackcat31]

Family B: 1 yo and 2.5 yo. 1 yo is a known biter at her current daycare. 2.5 yo is speech delayed and apparently an escape artist...scaled the fence at previous daycare. Also likes to take off her diaper so parents were annoyed that their daycare asked them to send her in pants since they feel it's a lack of supervision issue. They also feel the biting is a lack of supervision issue and don't believe that their child is the biter since no one saw it and are wanting a new daycare since 1 yo gets sent home 3 or more times a week now since she bites or tries to bite 3 or more times a day (usually within the first hour) as per the daycare policy. 2.5 yo would need pick up during nap time and a second drop off during nap time due to speech therapy since dcm wants to stick to a routine. There is no routine at home (ie no nap or bedtime).

Probably not taking Family B based on their lack of routine alone...their style seems too laid back for the way I like to run things...nevermind the behavior of the children (that I haven't met).

See now I view Family B as a family that IS "fixable".

All of the issues the family mentioned are usually due to environment. Those behaviors ARE re-trainable.

With Family A, the eating and napping issues are rooted in the parents. THEY allow the child to ONLY eat PB&J and they haven't managed to teach 8 month old how to sleep yet and 8 months is pretty old to have to re-train sleeping habits. THOSE behaviors aren't as manageable as the others imho.

I've had several kids booted from centers or previous care environments that were labeled as biters or escape artists, only to find that it was due to the busy, unstructured (or over structured) chaotic environment.

Sometimes a smaller group size eliminates the stress or need to bite and if the older child is engaged and truly interested in what's happening in your care, then there is no need to "escape"...kwim?

I also would be uncomfortable with the parents in Family A being unsure of their status as full time or not.

If Family B has parents with full time jobs they've been at for a while, there is less chance of them leaving those jobs and no linger needing care.

What if Family A's dad, decides working outside the home isn't for him? Naturally, he will quit and go back to being a stay at home caregiver for his kids.

That's my 2 cents.

~BC

[midaycare]

I'm not desperate to enroll and people are desperate for infant openings around here so I can be picky.

I only interviewed the first family because their son is close in age to my currently enrolled children. Not sure if I want to deal with two infants even if one is my own (who is super easy since I was able to put her on my daycare schedule). I also am worried that this family is expecting me to enroll them even though I clearly said and wrote that the second interview is to determine if we're a good fit for each other and to discuss my handbook and the children with dcd. No family is perfect but I just don't want to deal with the chaos an infant can cause if the parents aren't on board with a group schedule...so far my gut says no as I just am not clicking with dcm ...how would I say no to this family if the second interview doesn't go well since they are pushing to start Monday and seem to think I'm desperate or obligated to enroll them because I set up a second interview?

Sorry I ramble...neeeeeed more sleep! TGIF!

I'm really thinking about waiting for door #3 if the second interview doesn't go well. You really don't want another infant, so why settle?

[Leigh]

Family A: Has 8 month old and 3 yo. Full time, I think. They haven't confirmed it since it's contingent on dcd's new job. They want to sign all the paperwork at their second interview since they need care immediately but I had to schedule the second interview since only dcm attended the first one and couldn't answer the majority of my questions about the kids since dcd is the caregiver. The 3 yo only eats pb&j sandwiches. 8 month old is scooting. Dcm is not sure if they nap well. They would be here 9-10 hrs a day.

Family B: 1 yo and 2.5 yo. 1 yo is a known biter at her current daycare. 2.5 yo is speech delayed and apparently an escape artist...scaled the fence at previous daycare. Also likes to take off her diaper so parents were annoyed that their daycare asked them to send her in pants since they feel it's a lack of supervision issue. They also feel the biting is a lack of supervision issue and don't believe that their child is the biter since no one saw it and are wanting a new daycare since 1 yo gets sent home 3 or more times a week now since she bites or tries to bite 3 or more times a day (usually within the first hour) as per the daycare policy. 2.5 yo would need pick up during nap time and a second drop off during nap time due to speech therapy since dcm wants to stick to a routine. There is no routine at home (ie no nap or bedtime).

Family B seems to feel that ALL of their kids' behaviors are caused by their current provider, and that they have no responsibility in working to change the behaviors. The escape artist: probably is supervision. The biting: no amount of supervision short of a leash can stop a determined biter sometimes. Their issue with putting their kid in pants would bug me, too-it seems that they want it all their way. No nap or bedtime at home would not be attractive to me, either...I can just imagine the troubles that could cause for the routine at my home. To me, they sound like lazy parents who don't want to deal with raising their own kids and would expect me to "fix things" myself with no support from home.

Family A: Mom doesn't sound too involved. My husband isn't the primary caregiver at our home, but he could still answer those questions. If I were to accept them, I would make SURE that they understand that their child would NOT be eating PB & J at my home.

If I had the opportunity to wait, I'd wait for another family. If I really needed to fill a space, I would absolutely take family A.

[Kabob]

See now I view Family B as a family that IS "fixable".

All of the issues the family mentioned are usually due to environment. Those behaviors ARE re-trainable.

With Family A, the eating and napping issues are rooted in the parents. THEY allow the child to ONLY eat PB&J and they haven't managed to teach 8 month old how to sleep yet and 8 months is pretty old to have to re-train sleeping habits. THOSE behaviors aren't as manageable as the others imho.

I've had several kids booted from centers or previous care environments that were labeled as biters or escape artists, only to find that it was due to the busy, unstructured (or over structured) chaotic environment.

Sometimes a smaller group size eliminates the stress or need to bite and if the older child is engaged and truly interested in what's happening in your care, then there is no need to "escape"...kwim?

I also would be uncomfortable with the parents in Family A being unsure of their status as full time or not.

If Family B has parents with full time jobs they've been at for a while, there is less chance of them leaving those jobs and no linger needing care.

What if Family A's dad, decides working outside the home isn't for him? Naturally, he will quit and go back to being a stay at home caregiver for his kids.

That's my 2 cents.

~BC

Yeah, I see what you mean. Like I said, I didn't meet the kids so my bigger concern was the parents. Dcm isn't working right now and so she's on state assistance. She could keep dcg home after her speech therapy instead of doing 2 pickups and drop offs twice a week but she wants to keep dcg in daycare for the routine. That wouldn't work here. I also asked about their backup plan if I'm sick or their kids are sick or they're late and it sounded good until dcm said she'd pay me whenever she got money if she was late. Likeable parents but they'd need more training than the kids. I told them I'd need to meet their kids first before I made my decision. I've enrolled problem kids before with the only problem being their parents. ::

Thanks for pinpointing my discomfort about Family A...I just don't know how well it'd go with the parents....I don't want them to enroll here if they disagree with my policies or just because they have no choice...it never works out if they fight me or give attitude daily...

But both parents completely lack routine from the sounds of it...that part makes me cringe...not sure how that would work...

[AmyKidsCo]

I wouldn't wNt to deal with the Naptime pickup & drop off. Otherwise I think either family would work. If I hade to choose I'd go with A because of the Naptime thing. The PBJ thing doesn't bother me - I provide food, they decide what to eat. No child has died from skipping a meal.

[Kabob]

Family B seems to feel that ALL of their kids' behaviors are caused by their current provider, and that they have no responsibility in working to change the behaviors. The escape artist: probably is supervision. The biting: no amount of supervision short of a leash can stop a determined biter sometimes. Their issue with putting their kid in pants would bug me, too-it seems that they want it all their way. No nap or bedtime at home would not be attractive to me, either...I can just imagine the troubles that could cause for the routine at my home. To me, they sound like lazy parents who don't want to deal with raising their own kids and would expect me to "fix things" myself with no support from home.

Family A: Mom doesn't sound too involved. My husband isn't the primary caregiver at our home, but he could still answer those questions. If I were to accept them, I would make SURE that they understand that their child would NOT be eating PB & J at my home.

If I had the opportunity to wait, I'd wait for another family. If I really needed to fill a space, I would absolutely take family A.

Lots of good points here too. The pants thing bugged me too because I require them here as well...plus they told me she can't be the biter but then she bites them. So I dunno if it's stress from daycare or lack of sleep. One is fixable one requires the parents to be on board. I can see if they can change the naptime pick up and drop off but I just don't fancy that working for me if they can't change that.

Family A concerns me too. Dcm had weeks to schedule the second interview. Told me she wouldn't since dcd didn't get a job yet and now suddenly she needs the spot NOW so she's been asking for it all morning. I told her the second interview does not mean she has the spot but is for me to determine the best fit for my daycare. Haven't heard from her since I reiterated that.

Not concerned about filling the spot immediately but I wanted to be sure I was looking at this from all angles and you guys are good about giving me various perspectives with sound logic. Thank you!