How to be Assertive

[NightOwl]

When you are a 2.5 yo dcg who is the oldest in a group of children with strong personalities and no problem asserting themselves? This little nugget is a total doormat to children as young as 1yr! Bless her...

She will have her hair pulled and look at me saying "ouch!", but will make no move whatsoever to stop the hair puller. She was bitten two days ago HARD (from the other thread) and started to cry. She didn't immediately come to me, so I called her to me and she had a terrible bite mark, but was not going to come tell me (I didn't know she was crying from being injured. She cries over every tiny thing)!

She will not defend herself, she will not take back a toy that was taken from her, she will not even tell on another child when she's been injured.

I've got to get some backbone into this girl! Any suggestions? I'm trying to teach her to use strong words instead of the little mousy voice she usually uses, but I'm not sure where to go from here.

[AmyKidsCo]

Have you tried any Sign Language? The sign for Stop is especially empowering. Also, giving her the words to use - Tell him "STOP hitting me" - and being there to make sure the other child listens - Janie said "Stop hitting me" so you need to stop hitting her" can also help empower her and give the other children the message that they need to listen to her.

http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/pages-signs/s/stop.htm

It's OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids by Heather Shumaker has great information about conflict resolution and empowering children.

[NightOwl]

Have you tried any Sign Language? The sign for Stop is especially empowering. Also, giving her the words to use - Tell him "STOP hitting me" - and being there to make sure the other child listens - Janie said "Stop hitting me" so you need to stop hitting her" can also help empower her and give the other children the message that they need to listen to her.

http://www.lifeprint.com/asl101/pages-signs/s/stop.htm

It's OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids by Heather Shumaker has great information about conflict resolution and empowering children.

Eeeeewww I didn't think of signing... excellent idea!

[daycarediva]

The first thing I teach my littles is STOP in sign. Once she realizes it works, she may stand up for herself more.

[NightOwl]

It's a fine line when teaching assertiveness. I've seen it go wrong and a little bully is created. I'm gonna start with the sign for "stop" today. We've been learning a few basic signs anyway, so this will just add to it.