New Mom Control Issues - Advice Appreciated

[hsdcmama]

First I am sorry you experienced this and that you feel so badly after. Don't cause it really isn't about you, it's about her making you the enemy cause she is so heartbroken about leaving her baby.
I disagree with some of the others on the attitude of it's "your business-your rules" I think that is true in many ways and there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. I also think you need to keep the parents connected to their child particular infants. The app made me laugh, (but I would actually like it). I text parents pictures-updates of their infants throughout the day. This gives them peace of mind and helps them feel connected. It's extra work yes, and I charge a lot more for infant than I would a preschooler so my time is paid. You had your 3 kids while your husband was deployed, your a rock-star! However, as challenging as that is, did you have to leave your baby to go to work? I just feel while you shouldn't let parents control your business, keeping empathy for what they experience goes a long way in building trust.

Yes, actually I have had to leave my infant to go to work, I worked outside the home when my oldest was a baby. So I know exactly what they are feeling. But I'm sorry that is no excuse to treat someone the way they have treated me.

[hsdcmama]

Posting my early withdrawal paper for you all to see, let me know if I'm missing anything. I will be putting it in their mailbox this evening.

Early Termination Notice


Child's Name: __________________________________________
Date: _____________________________




Check one:
q I will be withdrawing my child from Ms. Becky's Family Child Care on __________________, 2 weeks from the date above.
(date)

q My child will be withdrawn from Ms. Becky's Family Child Care on __________________, and I agree to pay for 2 weeks of childcare in lieu of giving 2
(date)
weeks' notice. I understand that payment must be made on the day my child is withdrawn. Payment due is $_____________.

I understand that if payment is not made, I will continue to accrue fees equal to the regular fees for each day my child would have been in child care. Failure to pay may also result in collections action.

[TheGoodLife]

Posting my early withdrawal paper for you all to see, let me know if I'm missing anything. I will be putting it in their mailbox this evening.

Early Termination Notice


Child's Name: __________________________________________
Date: _____________________________




Check one:
q I will be withdrawing my child from Ms. Becky's Family Child Care on __________________, 2 weeks from the date above.
(date)

q My child will be withdrawn from Ms. Becky's Family Child Care on __________________, and I agree to pay for 2 weeks of childcare in lieu of giving 2
(date)
weeks' notice. I understand that payment must be made on the day my child is withdrawn. Payment due is $_____________.

I understand that if payment is not made, I will continue to accrue fees equal to the regular fees for each day my child would have been in child care. Failure to pay may also result in collections action.

I would add a clause that failure to sign will maintain the contract and regular tuition is still due, until termination is given. Because really, if they haven't given anything in writing you have a signed and valid contract that states they are still in child care and should still be paying the weekly rate, PLUS any late fees if they choose to try to ignore. You need a signed and dated term letter to terminate your contract.

[TheGoodLife]

Wait, I just noticed the last part stated that- never mind! I guess I'd just verbally remind them that until you get that term letter they are still legally contracted and owe their regular weekly (or daily if that's how you contract it) rates. Emphasize the LEGALLY- that's what I did and both families that tried to get out of things backed out quickly when I made them realize I could and would pursue the money on a legal basis. The law is on your side.

[MarinaVanessa]

Wait, I just noticed the last part stated that- never mind! I guess I'd just verbally remind them that until you get that term letter they are still legally contracted and owe their regular weekly (or daily if that's how you contract it) rates. Emphasize the LEGALLY- that's what I did and both families that tried to get out of things backed out quickly when I made them realize I could and would pursue the money on a legal basis. The law is on your side.

If this is the route you're going to take I'd add in there also the sections on regulations closest to what they said to you about you breaking regs. At this point you have to show them somehow that YOU are not breaking any regulations or policies, THEY are.

If you can get an email or letter from your licensing analyst even better. At this point showing them what they are LEGALLY bound to do may go in one ear and out the other because they think that YOU are LEGALLY in the wrong for what they think is you "going against regulations". Attach the regs needed and include a copy of the part of the contract that they signed that says that they have to give you 2 weeks paid notice etc.

[Second Home]

I am sorry you are going through this .
When I read that you are in MD and the fake regs they brought up I was mad for you to be treated that way and lied to . Ugh

I hope that you are not local to me and they don't call me for care ::.

[hsdcmama]

I emailed my licensor about the whole situation, so I'm waiting to hear back form her. I may decide to show them what she says, maybe not. At this point I don't know if it's worth it; it might be better just to let them think they are right and move on. Eventually I could bring it up but right now they might just take it as me being flippant.

[TheGoodLife]

What have they said about paying you- last you mentioned he had agreed to pay, have you contacted since? Who knows, maybe he'll do the right thing and pay once you show him you're serious and not going to let it just slide- you both know there's no such thing as that bogus $250 fine.

[hsdcmama]

Thanks so much for your help and advice everyone, I have really appreciated it. Dad brought the payment over today, with no more discussion from either of us. I received a response to the email I sent my licensor; she says there is no regulation that says a family daycare provider has to follow a parent's demands, that it's not even humanly possible in a home daycare setting for a provider to meet every parents' demands, and that there is no $250 fine. She said the rules are different for daycare centers, so since the "family member" works in a center, maybe she didn't realize this. Either way, I am glad to put this whole thing behind me, and I feel much better knowing that I did nothing wrong.

[TheGoodLife]

Thanks so much for your help and advice everyone, I have really appreciated it. Dad brought the payment over today, with no more discussion from either of us. I received a response to the email I sent my licensor; she says there is no regulation that says a family daycare provider has to follow a parent's demands, that it's not even humanly possible in a home daycare setting for a provider to meet every parents' demands, and that there is no $250 fine. She said the rules are different for daycare centers, so since the "family member" works in a center, maybe she didn't realize this. Either way, I am glad to put this whole thing behind me, and I feel much better knowing that I did nothing wrong.

yay, so glad the term worked out for you! I always freak out in situations like that, and the parents both times took care of it by the next day- but my mind tends to start thinking of everything that COULD happen, then I imagine the stress of small claims court... No fun for the time in between! Enjoy the rest of the weekend

[nannyde]

I'm so glad you were paid.

Now get right back on the horse with them as neighbors. Don't shy away from them. When you see them give them a wave and whenever you see the baby say he is getting SO big and is darlin. The quicker you act as you did before, the quicker the tension will alleviate.

You did nothing wrong and after she gets some motherhood under her belt she will start to feel ridiculous about her treatment of you. She won't admit it.

She will most likely be a stay at home mom soon so she will be around alot.

[hsdcmama]

I'm so glad you were paid.

Now get right back on the horse with them as neighbors. Don't shy away from them. When you see them give them a wave and whenever you see the baby say he is getting SO big and is darlin. The quicker you act as you did before, the quicker the tension will alleviate.

You did nothing wrong and after she gets some motherhood under her belt she will start to feel ridiculous about her treatment of you. She won't admit it.

She will most likely be a stay at home mom soon so she will be around alot.

Yup, that's just what I was thinking.

[CraftyMom]

I would be showing them the email from licensing, not in a rude way, just to clear things up.

"I looked into the regulations, here is the response from my licensor..."

I would need to let them know that I know they are full of crap. Just me

[Rockgirl]

I would be showing them the email from licensing, not in a rude way, just to clear things up.

"I looked into the regulations, here is the response from my licensor..."

I would need to let them know that I know they are full of crap. Just me

I'd do this, too!

[daycarediva]

I would be showing them the email from licensing, not in a rude way, just to clear things up.

"I looked into the regulations, here is the response from my licensor..."

I would need to let them know that I know they are full of crap. Just me

I would be printing it and handing them a copy of the email.

Did they sign the form? Bringing the baby back to you after these allegations is essentially "proof" on your end that they trusted you to care for him.

I agree with Nanny, I'd wave and smile big every time I saw them and continue on as before.

My neighbors came over this past weekend to inquire about child care and got a friendly but firm NO.