My biter has struck again....

[NightOwl]

ITA. At 18 months biting is developmentally appropriate, but not socially acceptable. It's not much different from hitting, pinching, kicking, pushing, yelling "No" and similar behaviors, except that it often leaves more of a mark and is socially seen as worse.

Most biting occurs because:
- The child is in pain from teething.
- The child enjoys the attention.
- The child is unable to express himself verbally or in other ways.
- A combination of the above.

The key is to figure out why the child is biting so you can meet those needs in other ways, like offering a teether or giving attention at other times, teaching ways to communicate (sign language) etc.

In most cases terminating the child doesn't solve the problem, it just removes the problem from your setting.

I've attached my Biting policy

THIS!! It will not solve the problem, just pawn it off on someone else.

[Heidi]

ITA. At 18 months biting is developmentally appropriate, but not socially acceptable. It's not much different from hitting, pinching, kicking, pushing, yelling "No" and similar behaviors, except that it often leaves more of a mark and is socially seen as worse.

Most biting occurs because:
- The child is in pain from teething.
- The child enjoys the attention.
- The child is unable to express himself verbally or in other ways.
- A combination of the above.

The key is to figure out why the child is biting so you can meet those needs in other ways, like offering a teether or giving attention at other times, teaching ways to communicate (sign language) etc.

In most cases terminating the child doesn't solve the problem, it just removes the problem from your setting.

I've attached my Biting policy

That's a GREAT policy!

I hope I'm not hijacking, sorry Wednesday! Hopefully, we can both come up with a solution from this conversation.

I love your policy, Amy. I've already identified WHY, though. I'm her shadow as much as one person can be with 4 kiddos. I'm encouraging using her words (I think I mentioned above she says "STOP!" quite often).

I don't think it's attention seeking. I think it's her awkward and socially unacceptable way of "protecting" herself.

[Unregistered]

my biter has struck again

I had this kid he's almost 3 and still would be biting but now he does have pacifier all day long.......and can now talk to verbalize his issues,also instead of biting he has an extrememly short fuse and will strike/kick out over the slighest thing.Also I thought I'd develope a toddler muzzle...but haven't gotten too far( they're ok for other animals).

[AmyKidsCo]

I've had my share of biters, including my own children and grandchildren, so I know how hard it is. As long as it's developmentally appropriate for the child I don't get too upset. It's when a child who should've grown out of the biting stage (like my 5 yr old granddaughter) bites someone that I freak out.

[Heidi]

I've had my share of biters, including my own children and grandchildren, so I know how hard it is. As long as it's developmentally appropriate for the child I don't get too upset. It's when a child who should've grown out of the biting stage (like my 5 yr old granddaughter) bites someone that I freak out.

I almost want to put something in writing to the bitee's mom. She's been pretty patient, but our paths are diverging on how it should be handled. Of course, every time it happens, it's "proof" to her that I'm not being firm enough. She sees her baby as a victim, which I get and empathize with.

I have a call in to my licenser because this all could blow-up in my face. I think some sort of letter, cc'd to my licenser, might be a proactive step?

Can someone help me with that, and Amy, can I borrow some wording from your policy?

[NightOwl]

Not at all Heidi! Hijack away! ::
We're in the same boat. I think my little guy's problem is a territory issue. He bit once when he was standing at the kitchen gate waiting for his sippy and another child beat him there, then again when another child hugged my ds (he feels like my ds is HIS. They play together constantly). So i'm thinking this may all stem from the toddler creed. What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine, if it looks like it's mine, it's mine, etc.

[Heidi]

When I think about it, biting really is NO different than hitting...except in one important way. It leaves a mark...

You wouldn't tell a dcp about every single time another child hit or pushed their kiddo. With biting, though, you have to report every incident and log it. Having all that documentation makes it seem worse.

[Crystal]

I attended an AWESOME training last week on behavior management and one suggestion that the therapist who conducted the training gave in regards to biting, is to get Aquarium tubing (what is used inside of a fish aquarium) Cut it long enough to put on string and make a necklace out of it. She said it is good for biting on as it is very strong and will not fall apart when chewed/bitten, and if it is a sensory issue the child has that is contributing to the biting, this could relieve some of the "symptoms"

[NightOwl]

That's a great idea! ^^^^
The victim's mom just picked up. I told her it would be handled, one way or another, immediately. I don't want to give up on him, but she doesn't want her daughter to be his chew toy either. I have to consider both sides.

[NeedaVaca]

I don't know if I would DIY one of these but you can buy them online, just google chewy tubes or chewy necklace and you will get a ton of hits. I would also ask biters mom to buy it.

[MotherNature]

Some good ideas. It's cool that both sets of parents are patient & understanding though. I wouldn't term then either. Frustrating though...sorry!:hug:

[NightOwl]

Sooooo frustrating. Both of these kids are so great, they just don't click when they're together.
Victim's mom thanked me immensely for being on top of it and said she knew biter's mom feels terrible (which she does).

[racemom]

I know its not the victims fault, but if it is always the same child have you tried removing him from the situation. We had a biter who only bit 1 child, and it was because he was always in her space. I finally made him stay away from her for a while and she stopped biting. It is kind of the opposite of shadowing the biter, I keep the bitee from trying to take her toys which was our issue.

[NightOwl]

It's not the same one, but he does seem to target her. She's received 3 of the 4 bites.