My biter has struck again....

[NightOwl]

And he struck HARD. 18m dcb. This is his 4th bite here and I can't let it continue. I sent him home and told dc parents I would do some research and pass it on so that we can get this nipped (no pun intended). They are very concerned and want to work on this. Terming is at the very bottom of my list of options, but I need help! What do the all knowing, all seeing forum goddesses do with biters to end it??

[MotherNature]

Sorry, but 4th bite? He'd be gone. After the 1st & 2nd, the PARENTS should have been looking for solutions, not leaving it up to you to figure something out & leave yourself open and liable for injuries.

[Heidi]

Sorry, but 4th bite? He'd be gone. After the 1st & 2nd, the PARENTS should have been looking for solutions, not leaving it up to you to figure something out & leave yourself open and liable for injuries.

I have to disagree there. I don't know what the parent of an 18mo is going to do about behavior that happens while a child is under my supervision.

[NightOwl]

Sorry, but 4th bite? He'd be gone. After the 1st & 2nd, the PARENTS should have been looking for solutions, not leaving it up to you to figure something out & leave yourself open and liable for injuries.

As I typed that, the thought occurred to me that it shouldn't be solely on me to find a solution. You are definitely right about that! This has to be a team effort.

[Heidi]

So, Wednesday, we're in the same boat.

I'm experiencing the same frustration. My favorite dcg, 19m, has bitten the same child several times. I step up supervision, it goes well for a while, and then bam! again. It's always the same scenario. Other child gets in her space (like sitting on her lap), and she nails him.

Mom of bitee has been more than patient. She knows her little man is bold and in-your-face, but I have to figure out something.

I literally can't do ANYTHING but watch them while they are playing. This is becoming a problem! I've tried separating her, but then they all want to be with her, or she whines and whines because she's confined in some way. The other toddlers see her being in a booster at the table as a reward, but I can't very well park 4 kiddos in chairs all day long, and of course once they are in sad chairs, they want OUT, anyway!

I am going to try letting her have her pacifier all the time for a few weeks. I dont' know what else to try, honestly. I hate the idea of her trying to talk around it, etc, but it's better than her biting by a long shot.

[melilley]

Oh no!
I had a biter (among other issues). He was 18 months. He is now almost 3 and doesn't bite anymore. I was foolish and let him stay, but I really worked with him. He was my shadow all the time and I did a ton of redirection. He finally, one day, stopped. Other dc parents were concerned, I was stressed, it wasn't worth it and honestly, if I get a biter like him again, I will term.

[NightOwl]

Maybe that's why I haven't termed. Both sets of parents are very understanding and trying to find a solution. If the victim's parents ever expressed a concern that they may pull their child, that would be the end of it. I'd have to let him go. He's my fav too Heidi! I'm so torn. I know they outgrow it, but there's no telling how long it will take.
I've done the same things to curb it. Shadowing, intense supervision, etc. And two or three weeks later, he bites again.

[melilley]

Maybe that's why I haven't termed. Both sets of parents are very understanding and trying to find a solution. If the victim's parents ever expressed a concern that they may pull their child, that would be the end of it. I'd have to let him go. He's my fav too Heidi! I'm so torn. I know they outgrow it, but there's no telling how long it will take.
I've done the same things to curb it. Shadowing, intense supervision, etc. And two or three weeks later, he bites again.

What if you give him a teether to bite on? That may help.

[Heidi]

What if you give him a teether to bite on? That may help.

I have done that in the past, and it's always worked. Not this time..she doesn't like them. That's why I'm thinking Binky may help. :confused::confused:

[Heidi]

Maybe that's why I haven't termed. Both sets of parents are very understanding and trying to find a solution. If the victim's parents ever expressed a concern that they may pull their child, that would be the end of it. I'd have to let him go. He's my fav too Heidi! I'm so torn. I know they outgrow it, but there's no telling how long it will take.
I've done the same things to curb it. Shadowing, intense supervision, etc. And two or three weeks later, he bites again.

Same problem here.

She knows how to say "STOP!" and put her hands out, but this guy just will NOT stop and move away. Well, until she bites him, and then he DOES move away. So, there's the payoff, right?

So, if I give her a pacifier all the time, I'm inhibiting her ability to "use her words", and not creating a long-term solution.

[melilley]

I have done that in the past, and it's always worked. Not this time..she doesn't like them. That's why I'm thinking Binky may help. :confused::confused:

I'm thinking it probably will help as well.

[NightOwl]

It's so frustrating. I really want to work with this kid, not just term him.

[Blackcat31]

So, if I give her a pacifier all the time, I'm inhibiting her ability to "use her words", and not creating a long-term solution.

But atleast her not talking is only an issue for her.

Biting is other people's problem.

I'd give her the Binky every single day if that helped.

Her parents can work on talking at home on their time since they can't work on the biting thing...kwim?

[AmyKidsCo]

I have to disagree there. I don't know what the parent of an 18mo is going to do about behavior that happens while a child is under my supervision.

ITA. At 18 months biting is developmentally appropriate, but not socially acceptable. It's not much different from hitting, pinching, kicking, pushing, yelling "No" and similar behaviors, except that it often leaves more of a mark and is socially seen as worse.

Most biting occurs because:
- The child is in pain from teething.
- The child enjoys the attention.
- The child is unable to express himself verbally or in other ways.
- A combination of the above.

The key is to figure out why the child is biting so you can meet those needs in other ways, like offering a teether or giving attention at other times, teaching ways to communicate (sign language) etc.

In most cases terminating the child doesn't solve the problem, it just removes the problem from your setting.

I've attached my Biting policy

[Heidi]

But atleast her not talking is only an issue for her.

Biting is other people's problem.

I'd give her the Binky every single day if that helped.

Her parents can work on talking at home on their time since they can't work on the biting thing...kwim?

Yeah...that's what my sis said..it's the lesser of the two evils.

Bitee's mom think's someone should bite HER to demonstrate that it hurts. I, of course, disagree. She wouldn't make the connection. If she did, and she could logic it out, she'd do it MORE then, because it gets her what she wants...HIM out of HER space.

I'm absolutely not blaming the "victim" here, but I can see why it's happening. I'm just not sure how to prevent it yet. Like I said, it's always the same kiddo!