Articles/Research FOR Centers/In-Home Care

[SilverSabre25]

I have a friend who just contacted me. She needs care for her 14 month old, and I can't because it's on the other side of the city. however, the problem is that the child's father believes he'd be "better off" sitting in front of the TV in a playpen with his 60+ year old great grandparents...mom is adamantly against this (they are not together) and has asked me for any information she can show him on why center/in-home/ANYTHING is better than that. Dad's argument is "he needs to be with people who love him and away from germs".

So, if you ladies can point me toward links that look believeable, professional, etc, that I can pass on to her, that would be fabulous! Thank you!

[Leigh]

I really can't say that daycare is better for a child than being with family. I just can't. I believe that being raised by family is most always preferable. I think this is just a matter of mom and dad coming to an agreement on what they want for their child. I'd be interested in any data that shows daycare as being "better" for a child, though, as the above is simply my opinion.

[NeedaVaca]

I found this...

http://www.theguardian.com/education/2009/feb/10/grandparents-childcare-pre-school

then I found this She obviously hates daycare! (Neglect and child abandonment?)

http://www.drlaurablog.com/category/day-care/

Personally for me I would choose the grandparents IF they were loving and motivated to actually do things with the child. Sitting a child in front of TV all day is neglect IMO. Does she know this would happen for a fact?

My parents do watch my kids occasionally and watches my brother's kids ALL the time, they are in their mid 60's but they are extremely active, fun for the kids to be around and they really go out of their way to plan fun activities for the grandkids.

[Unregistered]

Some of us providers are in our 60s you know! I run a group home myself.
And I agree, having care by family is great, especially if they are motivated to do things with the child. A 14 month old doesn't want to sit still all day.

So, any possibility the mom could suggest a compromise? A couple of days each week with great-grandparents and a few at a childcare? Or vice versa?

The great-grandparents may also get tired of doing full time care.

I have several grandparents of children in my group who do care ONE day each week. It's a fantastic bonding experience for the children and grandparents. Most of the grandparents do NOT want to do more care than that. It changes their relationship too much to have that great of a responsibility for the child's care. Plus, they are retired - they want some free time. And sometimes I end up taking the child on the grandparents' day - stuff comes up, or they get sick, or they just need some time off.

[AmyLeigh]

Some of us providers are in our 60s you know! I run a group home myself.
And I agree, having care by family is great, especially if they are motivated to do things with the child. A 14 month old doesn't want to sit still all day.

So, any possibility the mom could suggest a compromise? A couple of days each week with great-grandparents and a few at a childcare? Or vice versa?

The great-grandparents may also get tired of doing full time care.

I have several grandparents of children in my group who do care ONE day each week. It's a fantastic bonding experience for the children and grandparents. Most of the grandparents do NOT want to do more care than that. It changes their relationship too much to have that great of a responsibility for the child's care. Plus, they are retired - they want some free time. And sometimes I end up taking the child on the grandparents' day - stuff comes up, or they get sick, or they just need some time off.

This is what I was going to suggest too. One of my dcgs is part-time here, part-time with family members. She's getting the best of both worlds, IMO.

[hope]

I agree with splitting the time between the two. Children need social interaction with their peers but there is so much they can learn from their grandparents. It's s bond that is precious.

[Play Care]

Wasn't there an article a while back about day care being the better choice if the child's mother was depressed? Not quite the same thing, but certainly not a stretch to say that a good quality dc experience would be better than being with relatives who are unable to really care for the child. Yes grandma and grandpa may love baby, but can they safely lift baby when needed? Take baby for walks? Have the energy to keep baby safe?

[Cat Herder]

From my understanding, each parent has the right to decide the care option for their child during his/her parenting time.

If Mom wants kid in daycare, during her time, Dad can't stop her.

Likewise, if Dad wants kid with his parents during his time, Mom can't stop him.

Sure there is the Right of First Refusal, but that only works if the Mom or Dad are keeping the child 100% themselves instead of the daycare/grandparent options.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/ofw/index.cfm/blog/right-of-first-refusal/

What is the parenting time order?

[SilverSabre25]

From my understanding, each parent has the right to decide the care option for their child during his/her parenting time.

If Mom wants kid in daycare, during her time, Dad can't stop her.

Likewise, if Dad wants kid with his parents during his time, Mom can't stop him.

Sure there is the Right of First Refusal, but that only works if the Mom or Dad are keeping the child 100% themselves instead of the daycare/grandparent options.

https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/ofw/index.cfm/blog/right-of-first-refusal/

What is the parenting time order?

I don't know what they are doing about that. All i know is what I read on FB and what she tells me :P We aren't that close anymore but have been friends since preschool. I will pass that info along, and suggest she also look into legal the legal side of things. I'll also pass along the suggestion to balance it out and do both.

I know many people are great child care providers on into the "twilight years" but from the sounds of it, she KNOWS what kind of care would be provided and is NOT okay with it, and from the sounds of it I don't blame her.

[SignMeUp]

"Twilight Years" ::::::