Jaws

[NoMoreJuice!]

So I have a chomper. He's two years old, sweet as can be, but has an ugly temper. I've been reading non-stop about how to stop the biting, but it is getting out of hand! I even have my assistant supervise him one-on-one most of the time. Today we took an outing to the children's museum across the street (a normal routine for us, we go twice a week). In the first two minutes, he had chomped on a four year old girl's arm! (NOT my dcg, someone else's child there!) I had no choice but to leave my assistant with six kids there and take him back to my house. The little girl was hysterical, and the mom was pretty mad. I think she was muttering something about rabies as I was dashing out the door.

SO...I need an action plan. This HAS TO STOP or I am going to drive off a cliff. We know his trigger is frustration, so we try to keep all the other children from aggravating him, but how is that going to help him the rest of his life?

I don't want to term, because he is the cutest, sweetest guy when he's Dr. Jekyll, but that Mr. Hyde is a beast! Any suggestions, wise ladies of the forum? I would appreciate any advice!




**To add a quick backstory, he has bitten one child here on four separate occasions, all out of anger/frustration. The child's parents were cool with it the first two times, but the third and fourth have been kind of tense conversations.**

[Unregistered]

I have a child who was like that at 2. Her mom and I worked really hard to teach her to say No and Help me loudly so that I knew when she was getting ready to bite. A large part of her frustration was another child and when that child moved on things got better quickly.

[coolconfidentme]

Is he so cute you would risk a lawsuit or loosing other kids? The parent of the little girl (or any other victim for that matter) can file a damages suit against you. He is a known biter. It can be viewed you knowing put other at risk when you go on your outings. You can also lose other children in your DC. A parent has every right to pull a child if they feel their child isn't in a safe environment. I'm just giving you the other side, I know you are trying your best. Shadowing & separation is what you should be doing. He has to earn his way back to being with the others. My best suggestion would to put the parents on probation. If the child continues you will term. Make it their responsibility, not yours.


ps..., He is verbal, right?

[Blackcat31]

I'm sorry I have no advice but I do know as a parent my child was bitten by another DCK frequently.

I'd say you were lucky to have a 3rd and 4th time and still have that family.

I'd have pulled my kid the 3rd time when I found out you weren't willing to term the biter.

I know biting is hard to manage but as a provider after I've exhausted my resources, I'd term. I have to put the safety of the OTHER kids FIRST before cuteness and/or sweetness...kwim?

[MotherNature]

In the first two minutes, he had chomped on a four year old girl's arm! (NOT my dcg, someone else's child there!) I had no choice but to leave my assistant with six kids there and take him back to my house.
I don't want to term, because he is the cutest, sweetest guy when he's Dr. Jekyll, but that Mr. Hyde is a beast!

To add a quick backstory, he has bitten one child here on four separate occasions, all out of anger/frustration. The child's parents were cool with it the first two times, but the third and fourth have been kind of tense conversations.**

Sorry, but I would term. He's going to cost you other children, and possibly your reputation if he's biting strangers in public. Someone probably has an effective shadowing technique on here, but it's not me. I'd get rid of the liability. You didn't say what his parents were doing to curb his behaviour..if it's nothing, definitely term.

[Annalee]

So I have a chomper. He's two years old, sweet as can be, but has an ugly temper. I've been reading non-stop about how to stop the biting, but it is getting out of hand! I even have my assistant supervise him one-on-one most of the time. Today we took an outing to the children's museum across the street (a normal routine for us, we go twice a week). In the first two minutes, he had chomped on a four year old girl's arm! (NOT my dcg, someone else's child there!) I had no choice but to leave my assistant with six kids there and take him back to my house. The little girl was hysterical, and the mom was pretty mad. I think she was muttering something about rabies as I was dashing out the door.

SO...I need an action plan. This HAS TO STOP or I am going to drive off a cliff. We know his trigger is frustration, so we try to keep all the other children from aggravating him, but how is that going to help him the rest of his life?

I don't want to term, because he is the cutest, sweetest guy when he's Dr. Jekyll, but that Mr. Hyde is a beast! Any suggestions, wise ladies of the forum? I would appreciate any advice!




**To add a quick backstory, he has bitten one child here on four separate occasions, all out of anger/frustration. The child's parents were cool with it the first two times, but the third and fourth have been kind of tense conversations.**

I had a little boy whom is in 6th grade now that bit when in my program....targeted the same child. After the third time, I met with the parents (which were kin so it was difficult) but I firmly told them it had to stop or I would have to term because this affected my business. Don't really know what changed, but they kept the little boy home the next day (Friday) giving him a long weekend and he never bit again....I think the parents FINALLY realized the seriousness of the issue. Good luck to you! :hug:

[NoMoreJuice!]

I guess from everything I've been reading, I assumed the parents couldn't do anything at home? It had to be caught in the act?

Chomper's mom is horrified and said she'd do anything to help make it stop. What suggestions should I give her to work on this problem at home?

Btw, dcb is not very verbal, but can definitely say no.

[Annalee]

I guess from everything I've been reading, I assumed the parents couldn't do anything at home? It had to be caught in the act?

Chomper's mom is horrified and said she'd do anything to help make it stop. What suggestions should I give her to work on this problem at home?

Btw, dcb is not very verbal, but can definitely say no.

Sometimes I think "attention" can help. The little boy I had was here every day to get his 91/2 house in :: I think the parents actually paid some attention to this child and it helped. But nonverbal children may need guidance in using their words instead of hitting/pinching/biting/kicking.... Maybe the parent could monitor what triggers the behavior..... Biting is definitely a difficult thing to deal with!

[TheGoodLife]

I guess from everything I've been reading, I assumed the parents couldn't do anything at home? It had to be caught in the act?

Chomper's mom is horrified and said she'd do anything to help make it stop. What suggestions should I give her to work on this problem at home?

Btw, dcb is not very verbal, but can definitely say no.

Horrified or not, that's too many biting incidents. I'd give immediate probabtion today and explain you can't remain liable, and if any further biting incidents happen you'll have to term immediately. No matter how you care for the DCB and/ or his family, it's not worth your reputation and livelihood!

[Heidi]

I'm having the same issue right now. DCG is 19 months, and is absolutely my favorite child, to be honest. She has been here since she was 6 weeks old, and her parents are awesome.

She only bites ONE child. My 13 mo intense boy. He is one of those kids who has no boundaries. I know a lot of 13 mo's have no boundaries; but he's the one who sits on other kids laps, sits on any adult lap if available, demands attention from other dcp's when they come get their child, and constantly plays with adult's clothing, buttons, cellphones, etc.

The two together has made the last few weeks very intense!

Sorry to hijack, but I'm running out of ideas and I won't term my dcg. She's too little to understand the consequences of her actions. Her parents work VERY hard to guide her; are gentle yet firm. She's been a "handful" lately in general. Rarely plays with toys, whines a lot, puts her whole hand in her mouth. I hate to say "teething" here, but man, she's gotten about 10 of them in the last few months. She went from 8 teeth to a mouthful in a very short time.

The only thing that's helped a little is letting her have her pacifier on a strap during free play. I've tried a teether toy, but she won't chew that. That, and I am separating her when I can't be right next to her. So, she sits up in a booster with toys when I make meals.

[Blackcat31]

I guess from everything I've been reading, I assumed the parents couldn't do anything at home? It had to be caught in the act?

Chomper's mom is horrified and said she'd do anything to help make it stop. What suggestions should I give her to work on this problem at home?

Btw, dcb is not very verbal, but can definitely say no.

Sometimes there really isn't anything the parent can do as biting IS a part of SOME children's childhood.

Unfortunately those kids end up getting termed if the provider isn't able to provide a one on one shadow for the child simply because the risk to the other children is too high.

So basically if a family has a biter, they are just stuck in between a rock and a hard place if their provider can't provide that continuous shadow.

If you ARE able to provide a constant shadow to him so he doesn't bite anymore, you can definitely keep him. If you can't provide that one on one supervision at ALL times, then you just might have to term.

For the sake of the other kids' safety.

:hug: