Did You Have A Rough Start With Your Daycare Children?

[cheerfuldom]

Now that I have been doing daycare for awhile, I realize what a crazy start I had.

*A child that was extremely demanding and possibly was labeled special needs but I dont know because I had her for only her first year. I termed and couldnt take it after that.

*Another child that I had for several years that I know was diagnosed special needs. She has significant mental and physical delays and she was extremely demanding as an infant

*Another child that was termed for aggression and I now know that his behavior was over the top and not normal for his age. His parents never told him no, ever.

*A preschooler whose behavior was so bad, she would run around my house, running from me and throwing things.

*Another infant who was extremely overweight. He could barely sit up at close to one year old. His mom termed for reasons that still aren't clear to me and then messaged a month later that he was walking......I believe 100% that that is a lie. That child was almost completely immobile the month before.

eeek! now that was a rough start! How were you first batch of kids?

[Second Home]

I ended up terming my first dck(2yrs) within 8 months due to being jealous of my newborn son . Dcm woulds bring her in with her overnight diaper and soaking wet , many times leaking through her pajamas. She would run into the house looking for him , dcm was clueless and thought it was cute tnat she liked him. She would climb up on a chair and hit him while in his bouncy seat . The last straw was when she ran up the the pnp and shook it very hard and banged it into the wall leaving a dent . I felt bad for dcd because he was really trying to be a good dad but with awful dcm and the increasing agression with dcg I could not do it anymore.

I felt that because I was new I had to put up with parents who did not care and children who had no disclipline .

[melilley]

I'm only a year and a half in so far.
I do have one child who is very challenging. He started here at 18 mo. and is now almost 3. He used to bite and hit and kick. He is a little better and doesn't bite and is rarely aggressive, but he will scream/cry a lot. I suspect he has a speech delay so that may be part of it. He hasn't been here for almost 3 weeks and it has been great. I just can't bring myself to term, my fault, I know.

My almost 2 year old started at 6 mo. and cried almost all day, almost everyday. I cried sometimes. Luckily, he outgrew it.

Other than that, my other kids are great. Sure, there are times where it gets stressful and I want to "quit", but in the long run, it's not so bad.

[mim]

My first dcb was not quite 1. DCM would drop off ant 515am. would text me when she arrived and I would go get dcb from the car. no clothes on, just last nights diaper a blanket wrapped around him and a bag with the days clothes. Even in the winter and believe me it gets cold and snowy here.
Called me on a couple Saturdays to see if I could watch dcb while she went out with the girls. I said no.
DCB had to have heartburn meds once a day and dcm asked me if I would give it to him. she asked if I could clip his nails weekly.
Then one day after pick up she took him to her friends up from my house and he pooped in his diaper and it went up his back and all over his clothes and she had the nerve to come back 3 hours after they left my house and ask to wash him in my tub. UH NO WAY. that is nasty and not my problem that you left him in a diaper for 3 hours at your friends house no doubt and then come to my house to clean him up. Nope not happening. Here are the wipes a diaper and a disposable changing pad. Do it on the back seat. Probably not very nice, but I had had it with this lady.
I have never been soooo glad to have a DCF leave.happyface

[Play Care]

I have to admit that I've been incredibly blessed when it's come to dck's. Even from the start I had decent kids and parents. Even with that there are things I did/allowed that I wouldn't do now. I am so thankful it worked out as well as it did, because I know my husband would have put his foot down (and rightfully so!!) had we had some of the kids/parents you all have written about.

[craftymissbeth]

I've only been open for a year, but have termed two families and was termed by another. I've developed a reputation for being "too strict" but I really don't care at this point.

#1 - had dcg for 5 months until she was 15 months old. She screamed nonstop daily the entire time. She just never adjusted. Dcm let it slip that she still slept in a swing there were other issues as well, but the day dcm told me she was just holding out until dcg turned 18 months and she could get her in cheaper, I termed immediately. Not my finest moment, but the whole situation wasn't worth it for me at all. They ended up going to a super cheap newbie provider who had just opened and does pretty much anything the parents want to keep them happy. Good for them

#2 - a 3 & 4 year old set of sibling boys. They beat each other up pretty much daily. I set a behavior plan with dcm which stated if they harmed anyone twice in one day (the first time was TO) they'd need to be picked up. The very first time I enforced it, dcm took almost 2 hours to pick up even though she said it's be 30 minutes (which is also my max time for pick up). I had their stuff and term letter ready when she finally showed up. She then proceeded to harass me all weekend to get their two "safety blankets" which were just fuzzy bath robes... I was unavailable that weekend. She turned to Facebook and exaggerated the whole thing telling people to never go to me because I was unprofessional and treated her kids "coldly". This was posted on our local daycare advertising page. I don't care what happened to them, to be honest. After the fact, I found out they'd been termed from at least two daycares before me for the same reason.

#3 - was recently. They termed me for stupid reasons... but in the end, I realized they're extreme helicopter parents... but we're just using me for a week until their regular provider recovered from an illness.


Quite frankly, I'm absolutely done with daycare. I would love to stay open, but these three families ruined the way I think of parents... I'm extra worried about inviting new people into my home because I've only found one family that is 100% non-idiot.

[Blackcat31]

I don't think I can even remember my first few years of doing this...

I think my brain has purposely blocked all memories.

Let's just say that you learn ALOT from the worst experiences and I learned MORE in my first 5 years than I have since.

[KiddieCahoots]

My first group was a dream!
Because I was new to the field, I didn't know how lucky I was. Now I do! That was 15yrs ago, and I still talk to 3 of the moms. Trying to find a group that is as good is discouraging. With the way parenting is changing, I don't really ever think I will either.

[Angelsj]

My first dcb was not quite 1. DCM would drop off ant 515am. would text me when she arrived and I would go get dcb from the car. no clothes on, just last nights diaper a blanket wrapped around him and a bag with the days clothes. Even in the winter and believe me it gets cold and snowy here.
Called me on a couple Saturdays to see if I could watch dcb while she went out with the girls. I said no.
DCB had to have heartburn meds once a day and dcm asked me if I would give it to him. she asked if I could clip his nails weekly.
Then one day after pick up she took him to her friends up from my house and he pooped in his diaper and it went up his back and all over his clothes and she had the nerve to come back 3 hours after they left my house and ask to wash him in my tub. UH NO WAY. that is nasty and not my problem that you left him in a diaper for 3 hours at your friends house no doubt and then come to my house to clean him up. Nope not happening. Here are the wipes a diaper and a disposable changing pad. Do it on the back seat. Probably not very nice, but I had had it with this lady.
I have never been soooo glad to have a DCF leave.happyface

Wow, um, go HOME or back to your friend's house! I would have just closed the door..

[Chellieleanne]

I started the end August of last year, and if have my very fist dcg but only on a rare part time basis. I would love to have her full time, except naps but she doesn't get crabby so it's ok she turns 2 next week. My current ft dcb age 3 now, it has been a long struggle with him to learn good habits since he came from a terrible provider before me. So many times I have wanted to term but I stuck it out and I am honestly going to miss him when he leaves in a few weeks especially with all my hard work to make him into a decent human being! I had two other families in that time. One just stopped contacting me and bringing her child after December of last year. The other I termed because the mom was a witch with a b to put it nicely and was threatening me. Sorry but when you say what I do is not a business, threatening to harm me and I have no right to take you to court for not paying me or threatening me? Yep you are done.

Over all starting out hasn't been too bad, especially with me having two of my own kids. Yes I have gotten frustrated but I still really love what I do

I am going to be done with ft kids for a long while since I am expecting my third child in September but I am still going to be backup for my dcb and the dcg I hardly watch so she is ok too. However once I am ready to start back up, there are sooooooooooo many things I have learned from being on this forum that I will do differently. First will be implementing a contract and handbook!

[NightOwl]

Y'all are scaring me. Lol. I'm 15 months in and my families are FANTASTIC. I just posted about them in the Golden Parents thread. Idk what I'm gonna do when I get my first "bad" family. I worked in a center for many years and owned it for the last two, so I have had some nightmare parents. But that was different, they weren't coming into my home where my own family is.

[Unregistered]

I've only been open for a year, but have termed two families and was termed by another. I've developed a reputation for being "too strict" but I really don't care at this point.

#1 - had dcg for 5 months until she was 15 months old. She screamed nonstop daily the entire time. She just never adjusted. Dcm let it slip that she still slept in a swing there were other issues as well, but the day dcm told me she was just holding out until dcg turned 18 months and she could get her in cheaper, I termed immediately. Not my finest moment, but the whole situation wasn't worth it for me at all. They ended up going to a super cheap newbie provider who had just opened and does pretty much anything the parents want to keep them happy. Good for them

#2 - a 3 & 4 year old set of sibling boys. They beat each other up pretty much daily. I set a behavior plan with dcm which stated if they harmed anyone twice in one day (the first time was TO) they'd need to be picked up. The very first time I enforced it, dcm took almost 2 hours to pick up even though she said it's be 30 minutes (which is also my max time for pick up). I had their stuff and term letter ready when she finally showed up. She then proceeded to harass me all weekend to get their two "safety blankets" which were just fuzzy bath robes... I was unavailable that weekend. She turned to Facebook and exaggerated the whole thing telling people to never go to me because I was unprofessional and treated her kids "coldly". This was posted on our local daycare advertising page. I don't care what happened to them, to be honest. After the fact, I found out they'd been termed from at least two daycares before me for the same reason.

#3 - was recently. They termed me for stupid reasons... but in the end, I realized they're extreme helicopter parents... but we're just using me for a week until their regular provider recovered from an illness.


Quite frankly, I'm absolutely done with daycare. I would love to stay open, but these three families ruined the way I think of parents... I'm extra worried about inviting new people into my home because I've only found one family that is 100% non-idiot.

I think the more experienced you get the more you'll know which parents ones you should give your services to and which you ones you should just take their application and file under do not want. I used to be a teacher and I can 99% of the time tell who's a decent family and who's either looking to cause trouble or get every penny out of me. I've only had one scare. A woman who was part time and she started asking all these weird money questions. I really got turned off when she asked if my business was legit or did I get any income off the books. I terminated her. She went to another provider and asked to be her aide. The provider said no and she called CPS on her and claimed there was abuse.

I know this may come off as wrong, but I refuse to take Indian children. I've seen local providers take them and not too long afterwards, they roaches. I was told a roach crawled out of one mom's purse while she dropped her child off. She had no reaction to it. She was termed that day and stunned. I've also SAW when I was a teacher Indian boys peeing in corners or other spots and claiming it's acceptable at home. When I worked in a HS I had one little boy who was separated from another child walk over to the child and pee on their toys. Indian parents are also very demanding. They will say they don't celebrate say Halloween and don't want their child doing Halloween activities, but you have celebrate Dawli and other things other families don't.

[AmyKidsCo]

Oh yes!! Like BC I don't remember a lot of the specifics, but I learned from experience...

[Blackcat31]

I think the more experienced you get the more you'll know which parents ones you should give your services to and which you ones you should just take their application and file under do not want. I used to be a teacher and I can 99% of the time tell who's a decent family and who's either looking to cause trouble or get every penny out of me. I've only had one scare. A woman who was part time and she started asking all these weird money questions. I really got turned off when she asked if my business was legit or did I get any income off the books. I terminated her. She went to another provider and asked to be her aide. The provider said no and she called CPS on her and claimed there was abuse.

I know this may come off as wrong, but I refuse to take Indian children. I've seen local providers take them and not too long afterwards, they roaches. I was told a roach crawled out of one mom's purse while she dropped her child off. She had no reaction to it. She was termed that day and stunned. I've also SAW when I was a teacher Indian boys peeing in corners or other spots and claiming it's acceptable at home. When I worked in a HS I had one little boy who was separated from another child walk over to the child and pee on their toys. Indian parents are also very demanding. They will say they don't celebrate say Halloween and don't want their child doing Halloween activities, but you have celebrate Dawli and other things other families don't.

Yes. That come off as REALLY wrong.

I don't think roaches (or bad behaviors) are excluded to only one nationality or race. :confused: :confused:


I would embrace a family that didn't celebrate "traditional" American holidays.

It would be a wonderful opportunity to teach inclusion and acceptance!

[DaveA]

Rough start? I don't remember. I've tried to block it from memory. Actually I can't complain other than my inlaws spending the first 3 years asking my wife when I was getting a job. GRRRRR

Only one child that I had to terminate for behavior issues. His first response to anything was to start throwing things at others. Parents thought it was "no big deal". Yikes.

Parents.....a few real winners. I had to break up a fight in my driveway because Dad 1 got busted by Dad 2 (a police officer) for drugs the previous year. Told him that if Dad 2 didn't kick his @@@ if he pulled that again I would. They didn't last long. Another time my wife and I made the mistake of going out one weekend with the parents of one of the kids. DCM tried to "recruit" my wife & me for what I'll tactfully call a "playdate".

And current parents wonder why I don't socialize with daycare parents.