Oh Wise DC Ladies..

[MsLisa]

After seeing the "Insane Craigslist Ads" I can't help but want to know what makes a good ad?

I have gone a thousand ways & days and STILL can't get any new clients. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe its the area, maybe its the summer season, or maybe its me....no idea. I got my first client a year ago after a week of posting on Craigslist on whim, not really looking. Now I'm serious & a little wiser but its crickets.

All of you ladies are well-versed and full of knowledge so I am asking on bended knee if you can help me. Constructive criticisms welcome! Let me have it {gently}. Please.

http://scranton.craigslist.org/kid/4570187343.html

[DaisyMamma]

Maybe "childcare" service instead of "babysitting"? Do you actually only take one kid at a time? Your ad says one on one.

[daycare]

I love it!!! I love your website.

If you are a babysitter that is fine, but with that name I find comes a lot less respect from the parents.

I state that I am a child care professional, not a babysitter, but we all need to do what works for us. Nannyde one of our ring leaders here calls herself a babysitter and she is a grandmaster at DC.

how are your prices

[CedarCreek]

I agree with replacing the word "babysitting" with "childcare".

Also, do you have more pictures of activities? When I advertised, the pictures of the kids having fun and smiling (with permission, of course) were the best advertisement I could get.

I also included that I provided meals and snacks. I posted my rates as well because that just weeded out people that didn't want to pay for me!

[MotherNature]

The ad sounds ok- I'd change babysitter too.. maybe some other pics, especially since those are early spring flowers. I love a lot on your website, though I don't know that I'd feature your daughter as their new best friend, and your about me section is really long. I'd have a pic smiling a bit more instead of the one you currently have, but I love the wording about the parks, and artists wanted, etc. All in all though, your website is creative & professional. Great job! It's different than other childcare pages you usually see.

[daycarediva]

I'd change (or omit) your photo from your website.

Change babysitter to child care or daycare. Babysitter in our area=on occasion/teenage

There is a LOT about how great you are at crafts/your work and a LOT about your daughter. I would honestly remove most of it.

Also-never put stressful in your ad/website.

Maybe a bullet list about what you offer, hours, rates, meals, ages accepted, number of children cared for, guidance/discipline, parenting philosophy, years of experience, daily schedule, photos of the room/s as a whole.

[MsLisa]

I'll answer the questions first
@DaisyMamma - I say "one on one" cause its just me & my daughter. Unlike most in my "market" i'm one of the few who doesn't have a plethora of their own kids. So it's like one-on-one care. So maybe I should word that different. Low parent to child ratio?

@daycare - My prices are I think ok. WAY better then what I charged my first client. I kind of got the idea from you ladies.
1 day= $35, 2=$70, 3=$100, 4=$130, 5=$150.
Most families are low-income & use grandparents more then anything. Centers are in the major cities and the few in my area charge relatively more.

@CedarCreek - I have very few pictures at the moment. I took only a small amount of my only client and I never really got permission to share them otherwise. Since I have no one in my care I've been slacking on activities with my daughter.
I don't post my rates cause the next ad will just undercut mine by $5 or whatever. It got rather frustrating.

AND NOW FOR THE "BABYSITTER"....
Ok, so i picked that name due to the fact that I'm not a licensed daycare. I didn't want to step on the professional toes basically and say i'm someone i'm not. I figured "Babysitter" is low enough key but still within the realm of childcare. Mind you, I plan on doing this for the rest of my life, as I am currently in college to get my ECE so that i can actually work at a licensed one. But until then my only experience, besides my own child, is the Before & After School care I did for a few months this year. I would love to continue and grow with that, thus why the name. But now that you've all pointed that out...I will have to change it. It makes sense to.

Thanks for the site likes and suggestions. I have a degree in computer graphics so i kind of went mental making it. Must have changes it 20 times before i was happy.

KEEP THE SUGGESTIONS COMING! You guys are amazing to listen to. :hug:

[MarinaVanessa]

I think your ad is great. I agree about the changing of babysitter to child care.

I looked at your website. Love it, looks great. I would only tweak a few things.
- Check for grammar and spelling errors. I saw a few on the home page alone.
- Make sure that one-on-one means that you will only care for one child at a time (that includes any you may have of your own). One-on-one means one child and one adult. Otherwise change this wording or it's misleading.
- I think the photos on your main page look great ... if they are your own. If you borrowed them from the internet make sure you have permission to use them otherwise you can come across infringement problems. To be honest, the site will look better if you use your own photos anyway. It's more personalized. Using photos from the net can make it look more generic.
- I think the About Us page has A LOT of information that really just a filler. I think a brief and more to-the-point text will work better. You lost me right after the first 2 paragraphs. I sort of just skimmed the rest of the page. The info actually gives me more of a feeling that you are showing off your creative pinterest crafting work more than telling me about your daycare.
- I LOVE your activities page. The only thing I would change is to replace the photos with photos of the kids in your care doing the activities. For example, instead of the generic hand in playdough photo replace it with a photo of one of the kids kneading the playdough.
On the Contact Us page your first sentence seems incomplete "To schedule a tour with us, please submit a Babysitter Request Form." is easier on the ears.

Overall it's great. It feels fresh, fun and creative to me.

[MsLisa]

I think your ad is great. I agree about the changing of babysitter to child care.

I looked at your website. Love it, looks great. I would only tweak a few things.
- Check for grammar and spelling errors. I saw a few on the home page alone.
- Make sure that one-on-one means that you will only care for one child at a time (that includes any you may have of your own). One-on-one means one child and one adult. Otherwise change this wording or it's misleading.
- I think the photos on your main page look great ... if they are your own. If you borrowed them from the internet make sure you have permission to use them otherwise you can come across infringement problems. To be honest, the site will look better if you use your own photos anyway. It's more personalized. Using photos from the net can make it look more generic.
- I think the About Us page has A LOT of information that really just a filler. I think a brief and more to-the-point text will work better. You lost me right after the first 2 paragraphs. I sort of just skimmed the rest of the page. The info actually gives me more of a feeling that you are showing off your creative pinterest crafting work more than telling me about your daycare.
- I LOVE your activities page. The only thing I would change is to replace the photos with photos of the kids in your care doing the activities. For example, instead of the generic hand in playdough photo replace it with a photo of one of the kids kneading the playdough.
On the Contact Us page your first sentence seems incomplete "To schedule a tour with us, please submit a Babysitter Request Form." is easier on the ears.

Overall it's great. It feels fresh, fun and creative to me.

~Wipes sweat from brow~
Honesty hurts but I can take it!

Ok, i'll admit to the way to much "LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO" stuff. I guess you can say i'm trying to make up my lack of actual experience with my potential to be experienced, kwim? Like i don't have even a full year under my belt so I lack the photos and etc. But this is something I really REALLY want to do and am more then qualified for IF someone gives me the chance. I don't know how to put that eloquently I guess. Hense, fluff.

[MarinaVanessa]

~Wipes sweat from brow~
Honesty hurts but I can take it!

Ok, i'll admit to the way to much "LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO" stuff. I guess you can say i'm trying to make up my lack of actual experience with my potential to be experienced, kwim? Like i don't have even a full year under my belt so I lack the photos and etc. But this is something I really REALLY want to do and am more then qualified for IF someone gives me the chance. I don't know how to put that eloquently I guess. Hense, fluff.

Sorry, sometimes I'm too direct . Didn't mean to be.

I do really like your ad and website though. It left me with a generally good feeling.
And just keep in mind that this is all stuff you can work on over time. Don't have the experience under your belt? Don't have pictures of your own yet? No problem start small now. Chose a photo or two to change on your site each week and do an activity with your own kids or with borrowed kids just for that and take several photos. Choose the best one that portrays the message you're trying to send and update your site. In a few weeks you'll have all new photos.

And it does take time and it's great that you're asking up front now. Most of us, me included, started off and had to learn all of this on our own the hard way ::

[preschoolteacher]

As a parent, I wouldn't assume you are a daycare provider who can provide full-time care (working hours, 5-days per week). I get the impression that you are more of a part-time babysitter....evenings and weekends. Part of the reason why is the name of your business.

You don't mention anywhere your hours and dates OR your daily rate. What's provided? Meals? Supplies? Parents care very much about these things.

I'm also confused on how many kids you can/will take. One child? One family? Something else?

When I read your About Us section, I get the impression that you are a really passionate, creative mom... who "on a whim" just might want to look after another kid, too. This doesn't come across as very stable (from a parent's perspective). As a parent, I want someone who does this as a career. Who won't close up in a few months.

As a parent looking into your daycare, I would want to feel like you are really committed to providing daycare. I would remove lots of the information about your daughter and your crafts. It gives me the impression that your daughter and your crafts are your first priority. The photos are great... maybe include that information in a condensed version somewhere in a daily schedule page or an activity page.

As for your photo, maybe one that is more smiley?

You frequently say "us" and "about us." Who is us? I would not include your daughter in the "us." Usually people who use "us" rather than "me/I" have staff or an assistant.

Beyond that, I think it's a really clever, original take on childcare. Once you do some edits, I think you will start getting lots of phone calls!

[melilley]

Sorry, sometimes I'm too direct . Didn't mean to be.

I do really like your ad and website though. It left me with a generally good feeling.
And just keep in mind that this is all stuff you can work on over time. Don't have the experience under your belt? Don't have pictures of your own yet? No problem start small now. Chose a photo or two to change on your site each week and do an activity with your own kids or with borrowed kids just for that and take several photos. Choose the best one that portrays the message you're trying to send and update your site. In a few weeks you'll have all new photos.

And it does take time and it's great that you're asking up front now. Most of us, me included, started off and had to learn all of this on our own the hard way ::

I agree with MV and also with changing babysitting to childcare or daycare.

And we have all started out new sometime or another. When I first started, just a year and a half ago, I didn't have kids, but advertised. I just put pics of my main daycare space and outdoor space and did bullet points of what I offered and I think it looked nice and professional. I was full (with the number of kids I wanted) within 3 months and now have a little waiting list.

It just takes time.

[MsLisa]

Whhhheewwww! You all are so smart and right on the money. Sometimes you need other eyes to see what's really up. I rather hear the blunt truth and change then be left in the dark, you know? I truly appreciate it and i'm already starting the changes.

SO....
Should I be Ms.Lisa's Daycare? Or Ms.Lisa's Childcare? Childcare service? BAH!

I am a Libra, I am a ridiculous perfectionist and its shows. .

[melilley]

Whhhheewwww! You all are so smart and right on the money. Sometimes you need other eyes to see what's really up. I rather hear the blunt truth and change then be left in the dark, you know? I truly appreciate it and i'm already starting the changes.

SO....
Should I be Ms.Lisa's Daycare? Or Ms.Lisa's Childcare? Childcare service? BAH!

I am a Libra, I am a ridiculous perfectionist and its shows. .

Sometimes it does take someone else's eyes and experience to show you other ways. I had so much help from the members on this site, and honestly without their help, I don't think I would be where I'm at now.

I like childcare better than daycare. I'm Melissa's Family Childcare. But when people ask what I do, I tell them I have a home daycare.

[cheerfuldom]

I am confused by the title of your CL ad.....i would put something clear like "Four daycare openings on the west side at Ms Lisas!"

As for the CL ad itself, your FB page link is not working for me.

I am confused why your ad is about your love of nature only. As others said, the "one-on-one care" is misleading because you do plan to take more than one child down the road if you can. Keep it brief and informative.
"Ms Lisa is located at _____. I offer care for ages ___ to ____. My business hours are ____ and my rates are _______. My daycare has an emphasis on creativity and outdoor activities. For more detailed information, visit my website at _______"
This way people can quickly see if you can, in general, meet their needs. Dont worry about people undercutting you. Decide on a rate, stick with it and make sure that parents know that you are quality care worth paying for!

I think you need to stream line your services. the intro to your web page is confusing....do you provide full time daycare? that is not clear to me. I would skip all the "babysitting service" type references because that is not really who you want to attract, right? you need more than a kid every now and then for a date night. I would have that intro paragraph be clear that you provide full/part time daycare services.

Like others said, the about us is too much. Emphasize what you can offer to the parents, period. Make sure to state your ongoing education

I like the "why choose us" but again, your rates and location are not clear. People want to see pics of your outside space and indoor playroom. Sure some people care about including sensory activities but it is definitely not the priority. They want to see that their child has a fun playroom at daycare, well light, clean, tidy, etc. They want access to your policies as well as what you do and do not supply as far as meals and diapers and such.

overall your website comes across as a bit confusing about what you offer. to me it looks like you are offering drop in, occasional sitting only. I would never guess that you have a full time established daycare.