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Banishing Playdates
What do you think of this? I love it. Several of my friends blasted me for it on fb, saying this guy is not realistic, they've never seen anyone do crafts, etc.. but I have heard of lots of parents like this, especially on this board. Do you think this is becoming more the norm as opposed to how I spent my childhood, out roaming the neighbourhood til dark? I know safety concerns are higher now, but it just reminds me of the mother that was arrested recently b/c her 9 yr old was playing at a park all day by herself. At 6, I was home alone and cooked dinner! (Not the best situation, but it is what it is.) Several of my working mom friends said they do need a bit of scheduling b/c they work outside the home and can't just pop in on a friend whenever..
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Yes it is becoming the norm. Parents feel that they need to entertain their kids all the time, it's ridiculous!
I do have play dates with my kids and I do schedule them in advance (with the daycare, I can't have kids during the week and I'm not able to drop off/pick up during the week, so we pretty much have weekends). But I don't play with them or try to entertain them. My dd is 4 and sometimes needs direction, so I will gladly point them in the right direction if they need it, but I don't set up activites or projects (I do enough of that w the daycare!)
I do think that sometimes it is cultural too. I was raised similar to how you were but my dh had a sahm that would create elaborate projects (think Martina stewart). Even now she comes up with the best activities for when our kids visit, it's very sweet but not necessary, kwim? -
I think "playdates" are stupid.
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I don’t do play dates.
Kids still knock on my door or ring the phone to ask if my kids can come outside to play.
I thought play dates were for meet ups at Chucky Cheese.
I don’t do Chucky Cheese at all. It is my Hell on Earth.Comment
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Maybe I'm misunderstanding what the definition of a 'playdate' is. I thought it was the new phrase for when kids come over to play?Comment
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I think they're stupid, too. I am trying not to introduce that word into my 2 yr old son's vocabulary!
He's still too young for friends to come over without their parents (and because I don't want to watch any kids outside of daycare hours), and all his friends are just the children of MY friends at this point... But I still intend never to start that trend.Comment
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From my understanding, it is more when two moms notice their children have a friendship, say at daycare or preschool, and the moms schedule a play date together. Kids play, mom's supervise and talk. Or picture the bored child whining, "there's nothing to do mom, can you schedule me a play date?"
No more spontaneity. No more, running next door to ask "Can Joey play right now?" It's pre-planned, parent initiated, super supervised fun.Comment
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I find it so hard for kids to run over to their neighbors house and knock on the door like we used to do as kids. Most families on my block work till 6 pm and have an hour commute and their kids are in daycare or after care till 6:30/7pm. Weekends they rush them around so much and they are not home at all. Parents start to feel guilty that their kids have no life so they pencil in a play date with a mom they aspire to be friends with for some social/financial/power gain.Comment
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I have a 6-year-old. It's summer. No kids around us. If I don't call a parent, no friends come over. I'm not weirded out by it.
I don't plan activities. Kids get dropped off. They play.
And I love Chuck E. Cheese. We go about every 6 months and have a blast. My son and I get the same amount of tokens and have so much fun playing games and winning tickets. Skee Ball or bust!Comment
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I think we have the same idea of what we think it is. I like chuck e cheese too!
I dropped off two of my kids at one of their friends houses today and went grocery shopping. A couple of weeks ago, her kids were dropped off while she went out running errands. I do set up the days with the parents of when the kids are to be taken over or brought to my house. I work long hours during the week and I can't stop my day to drop off/pick up my kids and I can't have kids just dropped off at my house. During the weekends, I am running around trying to clean and do the errands that I don't have time to do during the week, so knocking on my door probably wouldn't work either.
I don't see anything wrong with scheduling kids visiting each other. My kids are 2,4, & 6, so maybe that will change as they get older, who knows?
I don't play with them or entertain them, I'm usually doing laundry or something similar. For my 4 year old, sometimes I set up some random art stuff and let them go at it. I didn't realize that a playdate meant I was expected to stay there, oops!Comment
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I dont trust ANYONE with my kids. We have been in this neighborhood for almost 4 years and I just started letting my older two go to ONE neighbors house. The parents are teachers and are awesome and I still didnt trust them for a long time. I will allow some of my kids friends over here, but it depends on the kids. There is liability to allowing other kids over that there never was before. We do not have spontaneous friends over or going over to other people's houses because 1. I dont trust my kids to just anyone and I dont want to hang out at other peoples house to supervise 2. me and my husband work A LOT. we dont want to be around extra kids all the time. 3. we only have a small number of friends that are available to be spontaneous. Most people live too far, work a lot, have things going on so you cant just drop off an extra kid at anytime. I know that we are not spontaneous either.
Lastly, I supervise (but not entertain) all my kids and their friends pretty closely. I normally dont have to offer up any ideas for activities though. Todays age is not one that is conducive to kids running around all time at random. I dont want kids showing up at random my house either. It is just a different way to grow up, it doesnt mean it is all bad. I think I am a better parent for being aware of my kids friends and those friends parents.Comment
: But how can you hate on the mouse? It's a fun time. We make it a special treat and quality mom-and-son time together.
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