I Wish Parents Understood....

[MissAnn]

That "not making food a battle" does not = chicken nuggets every night.

It means serving healthy meals and letting them choose if they are going to eat.....or go hungry.

[coolconfidentme]

That's how it is here. If they don't eat, I don't make it my problem. I have an "oh well" attitude about it. It's less stress that way. I have a DCG3 who has been here 3 months. Last week she started to eat what I served.

[DaisyMamma]

I'm not a restaurant.
You eat what is served or you don't eat.
There's usually something on the plate that they like.

[MissAnn]

I'm not a restaurant.
You eat what is served or you don't eat.
There's usually something on the plate that they like.

I know we have it down......wish we could get the parents to do the same. I have one who starves all day because she knows chicken nuggets are waiting for her as soon as she gets home. It's a sad situation....but this is the norm. This is how kids eat these days.

[AmyKidsCo]

I know!

You can send home article after article, email link after link, talk until you're blue in the face, but they often still don't "get it" - not just food either, the importance of play, not pushing academics on kids, etc.

[llpa]

I know!

You can send home article after article, email link after link, talk until you're blue in the face, but they often still don't "get it" - not just food either, the importance of play, not pushing academics on kids, etc.

I feel like parents kinda don't want to get it it is easier to get out the chicken nuggets, push for more time in childcare and earlier preschool cause then they honestly don't have to be a major part of rearing their own child. It is being done for them. Chicken nuggets are the easy way out

[Blackcat31]

Easiest solution to this issue is to not take families that don't share your parenting philosophies.

If they are the kind of family that eats every meal at McDonald's and you feel it's not good parenting or it cause you stress or grief, then why enroll them in your care?

Just like not caring if the kids eat or don't eat what you serve, you have to not care what the parents do or don't do after hours or you WILL end up driving yourself batty if it matters that much to you....kwim?

If you keep them in care because you like the income, then again...we have no right to judge that family by their eating habits if the pay is what drives us.

OP, I don't mean this harshly towards you at all so please don't take it that way. I am simply trying to break it down for readers so that we all see the different sides of things.

[llpa]

Easiest solution to this issue is to not take families that don't share your parenting philosophies.

If they are the kind of family that eats every meal at McDonald's and you feel it's not good parenting or it cause you stress or grief, then why enroll them in your care?

Just like not caring if the kids eat or don't eat what you serve, you have to not care what the parents do or don't do after hours or you WILL end up driving yourself batty if it matters that much to you....kwim?

If you keep them in care because you like the income, then again...we have no right to judge that family by their eating habits if the pay is what drives us.

OP, I don't mean this harshly towards you at all so please don't take it that way. I am simply trying to break it down for readers so that we all see the different sides of things.

You are exactly right! It is easy for me to forget this because while I try distancing myself, I am putting it all out there every hour every day. So we end up taking it personally. How did you learn to be so objective? I really want to be better at the walk out at 5:30 and let it go part ::

[Meyou]

Easiest solution to this issue is to not take families that don't share your parenting philosophies.

If they are the kind of family that eats every meal at McDonald's and you feel it's not good parenting or it cause you stress or grief, then why enroll them in your care?

Just like not caring if the kids eat or don't eat what you serve, you have to not care what the parents do or don't do after hours or you WILL end up driving yourself batty if it matters that much to you....kwim?

If you keep them in care because you like the income, then again...we have no right to judge that family by their eating habits if the pay is what drives us.

OP, I don't mean this harshly towards you at all so please don't take it that way. I am simply trying to break it down for readers so that we all see the different sides of things.

I totally agree. I started interviewing 3 years ago for families that live a similar lifestyle to us. My food and discipline problems have virtually disappeared as a result. I only take whole food eating, outside playing, no (or very little) tv watching, craft loving little ones now and it makes my days pleasant and as easy as they can be with littles in the house.

I even go as far as to say if your child watches tv everyday or you eat processed food your child will not be happy here and then I decline to even interview.

[Blackcat31]

You are exactly right! It is easy for me to forget this because while I try distancing myself, I am putting it all out there every hour every day. So we end up taking it personally. How did you learn to be so objective? I really want to be better at the walk out at 5:30 and let it go part ::

By getting walked on so many times...

I finally decided that I would ONLY own what belonged to me and NOT what belonged to others.

It helps me keep my sanity.

A long time ago, someone told me (or asked me rather) a simple question during a really difficult time/situation in my life.

That conversation literally changed my outlook about life.

The question they asked me was "What is YOUR responsibility/role in this situation and what can you do to change it?"

If you apply that question to pretty much everything in life, you have figured out the answer.

I hope that makes sense.....

...If not, scroll through a few threads here where providers have posted a problem or dilemma and ask yourself that question (as if you were the poster of the issue) and you will see that suddenly the solutions are simple.

You can't change other people.

You can only change how YOU react to other people.

[sugar buzz]

Easiest solution to this issue is to not take families that don't share your parenting philosophies.

If they are the kind of family that eats every meal at McDonald's and you feel it's not good parenting or it cause you stress or grief, then why enroll them in your care?

Just like not caring if the kids eat or don't eat what you serve, you have to not care what the parents do or don't do after hours or you WILL end up driving yourself batty if it matters that much to you....kwim?

If you keep them in care because you like the income, then again...we have no right to judge that family by their eating habits if the pay is what drives us.

OP, I don't mean this harshly towards you at all so please don't take it that way. I am simply trying to break it down for readers so that we all see the different sides of things.

I really like this. It can be applied to so many different things. Being selective with who/what you choose to spend your energy on and not feeling like you have to make it work with everyone is something I'm just learning. Thanks for the wisdom.

[MissAnn]

Easiest solution to this issue is to not take families that don't share your parenting philosophies.

If they are the kind of family that eats every meal at McDonald's and you feel it's not good parenting or it cause you stress or grief, then why enroll them in your care?

Just like not caring if the kids eat or don't eat what you serve, you have to not care what the parents do or don't do after hours or you WILL end up driving yourself batty if it matters that much to you....kwim?

If you keep them in care because you like the income, then again...we have no right to judge that family by their eating habits if the pay is what drives us.

OP, I don't mean this harshly towards you at all so please don't take it that way. I am simply trying to break it down for readers so that we all see the different sides of things.

I am pretty much at the point of "I don't care" except for one thing...the daily questioning of my menu and what the child does/does not eat. I'm not willing to lessen my nutritious meals. Today I finally told her exactly this and that if it's a deal breaker I will understand if she want to give notice.

[mamamanda]

I understand the frustration this causes completely. I also love Black Cat's advice. I think this is my problem exactly. My full time family, 2 kids, cause a LOT of stress for me. I am always frustrated over lack of discipline, dcg asking for cartoons incessantly, (how long does it take to learn that we don't do that a lot here), begging for cupcakes, asking for treats, etc. I stew over it all night long. I asked a lady from church to come & help me for a few months while I was struggling with pregnancy issues. She said almost the same thing. The problem is that your parenting philosophies are completely different & you don't like their children's behavior to rub off on your children. Eventually I would like to care for a family that shares our values/parenting philosophy, but in the meantime I've been using the opportunity to teach my son about differences. I often say, "Dck mom allows that in their home & that's ok, but we will not be doing that here." I've also been learning more about myself through all this, oddly enough. I've always been easily pushed around & I let a lot of things slide b/c I didn't want to make waves or lose clients. Now I'm learning to decide what is best for my family & stick to that. Its hard but I think I will be a better provider as a result. Now if I could just quit thinking about daycare once I'm closed.

[llpa]

By getting walked on so many times...

I finally decided that I would ONLY own what belonged to me and NOT what belonged to others.

It helps me keep my sanity.

A long time ago, someone told me (or asked me rather) a simple question during a really difficult time/situation in my life.

That conversation literally changed my outlook about life.

The question they asked me was "What is YOUR responsibility/role in this situation and what can you do to change it?"

If you apply that question to pretty much everything in life, you have figured out the answer.

I hope that makes sense.....

...If not, scroll through a few threads here where providers have posted a problem or dilemma and ask yourself that question (as if you were the poster of the issue) and you will see that suddenly the solutions are simple.

You can't change other people.

You can only change how YOU react to other people.

Thank you for responding BlackCat! When you put it this way it makes so much sense. I will start practicing Monday! happyface

[Josiegirl]

I totally agree. I started interviewing 3 years ago for families that live a similar lifestyle to us. My food and discipline problems have virtually disappeared as a result. I only take whole food eating, outside playing, no (or very little) tv watching, craft loving little ones now and it makes my days pleasant and as easy as they can be with littles in the house.

I even go as far as to say if your child watches tv everyday or you eat processed food your child will not be happy here and then I decline to even interview.

I really like the idea of finding families that flow with our own thoughts and ways of doing things. As much as I try when I interview, to get a feeling for those things, how do you become more successful at that?
Basically I tell them we don't watch TV here, except for maybe a few minutes a couple times a week. (It's different in the summer when the SA's are rowdy in the afternoons). I also share with them sample menus and my guidance policy. But how do you compete when dcks go home, watch tv til dinner, eat prepared foods or Chinese take-out, watch tv til bed? They know every darn tv show and song there is. They don't want to eat normal food, they get bored easily because something isn't on and entertaining them. It's not easy.
And what if you don't have the option of being all that selective, i.e. not many calls are coming in?
Just thinking and stewing here.