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Ok I logged out to post this. I have a 2.5 year old that has been at my home daycare for a year. Since day 1 of the child being here he has been a handful. I really think it might be some type of personality disorder or something. Reading online I am leaning towards narcissistic personality disorder. But I honestly have no idea because I have never seen anything like this. I've had alot of different kids and different issues but nothing like this. Since the first few days the child was here he was constantly trying to control what everyone was doing, playing with. He was 18 month when he started with me. Not only did he try to control the other children but me. I think the second day he was here I mentioned to the parents that he seemed to be always trying to control everything. They agreed and said it does it all the time. Over the past year it has been a constant daily battle. Like all daycares we have rules of what we can and can't do. This child is constantly doing the opposite. To the extent he will look at me directly then throw a toy. I ask him to pick it up and he goes completely blank staring ahead. I ask him again. Blankly stares ahead. I put him in a timeout and return him to pick it up and same thing. He stares blankly ahead. At the table he will purposely extend his hand and drop food. I tell him no and he gives me the dirtiest look like how dare you speak to me. If I am speaking to one of the other children he keeps interrupting and saying his own name. If I take a phone call he immediately starts talking really loud. Not really saying anything. Same thing if I am talking to my daughter. I repeatedly tell him no wait til I'm finished. Then go back to him. But then he just ignores me. Its really strange. He is so manipulative, controlling, self centered, lacks empathy for others. He doesn't think of anyone but himself. Everything is about him and him only.
I have talked to the parents and it sounds like he is driving the mother crazy in the evening with the same behaviors. She tried putting him in a timeout and it doesn't work. But I do think there are parenting issues. The mom is putting him in his room for a timeout or on a chair in the middle of the room. Really not a timeout. And she is starting to increase the time because she doesn't want to deal with him. I totally understand that because I find myself doing the same. If he isn't in a timeout he is trying to do something to get in trouble. I spoke to the mom the other day and suggested maybe she talk to a organization in town that works with kids. I suggested to her that there could be something else. She said like what autism. I said I don't know and that I honestly never have seen anything like this before.
How in the world do you deal with something like this. Its so tiring dealing with this kid. On a day when there are no other issues with other kids its no problem. But when there is a new child and a younger child that requires more attention it makes it impossible. I don't want to just terminate the kid. I can't afford it. There must be something besides timeout that would work. I don't think I can enlist the parents help at all. I honestly think there must be something really wrong with what they are doing for their child to be like this. My timeouts are done in the hall outside the playroom. Where I can still see the child. They are put facing the wall. When this hasn't worked i've tried a playpen in the next room. He didn't like that. Which might have been more effective. But I can't do that everyday since that is where I have babies who need an extra nap in the morning. Any ideas? I am taking way too much tylenol!
I have talked to the parents and it sounds like he is driving the mother crazy in the evening with the same behaviors. She tried putting him in a timeout and it doesn't work. But I do think there are parenting issues. The mom is putting him in his room for a timeout or on a chair in the middle of the room. Really not a timeout. And she is starting to increase the time because she doesn't want to deal with him. I totally understand that because I find myself doing the same. If he isn't in a timeout he is trying to do something to get in trouble. I spoke to the mom the other day and suggested maybe she talk to a organization in town that works with kids. I suggested to her that there could be something else. She said like what autism. I said I don't know and that I honestly never have seen anything like this before.
How in the world do you deal with something like this. Its so tiring dealing with this kid. On a day when there are no other issues with other kids its no problem. But when there is a new child and a younger child that requires more attention it makes it impossible. I don't want to just terminate the kid. I can't afford it. There must be something besides timeout that would work. I don't think I can enlist the parents help at all. I honestly think there must be something really wrong with what they are doing for their child to be like this. My timeouts are done in the hall outside the playroom. Where I can still see the child. They are put facing the wall. When this hasn't worked i've tried a playpen in the next room. He didn't like that. Which might have been more effective. But I can't do that everyday since that is where I have babies who need an extra nap in the morning. Any ideas? I am taking way too much tylenol!
The change with him came at about 2.5(around February) when something just clicked in his head that he needed to be nice to his friends, listen, use his words and they would play and share with him. Since then he still has moments but when he gets like that it usually means a) not enough sleep the night before and it is nap time or b) it is snack or lunch time. I would reinforce the positive behavior, I would sit him alone if he was getting really mean or violent and let him calm down. Very rarely I would have to physically restrain him for him to calm down because he would get extremely violent and start trying to break things. Mom knew and agreed, when I first interviewed them dad told me to spank DCB
um no not going to happen. A lot of patience and putting up with things many people would not but it has been a complete turn around. DCM comes to me and nearly every week she says something about how her friends or family have commented on how much better he is and so on. I am going to miss him but I hope he does just as well in new place. If not well I will always take him back after I get some time with my own newborn
No access to anything and he had to sit until he calmed down and would listen to me. Prior to that I tried having him face a wall, sitting in a corner, being in a small area to play alone, nothing really worked well. Another thing I added on(since I do it with my kids) I give a warning and then if they behavior/action does not change I count to 3 to give them time to redirect when they ignore everything else. At that point they lose what they were doing and get to be my buddy in the kitchen or where ever I may be working at the time.
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