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Dcg3 came in screaming today as usual. After dcd left, she immediately stopped crying and I had a chat with her about how it's not nice to come in screaming and that she is old enough to come in with a happy face and a quiet voice. I told her from now on, that I expect her to come in nicely. I mean, she's 3 and I think she is capable of controlling her behavior to an extent. But afterward, I felt kind of bad. She probably IS sad and maybe she can't control it. Have you ever told your dck's who are old enough to not cry at drop off? Or am I just giving this too much attention and over thinking it?
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She cries cause it works with DCD. She stops cause it doesn't work with you. -
Oh no,I always have that talk with them.Most of the kids I've had since birth so it's usually not an issue but they do go through separation anxiety.At that age I tell them it's ok to be upset,it is not however ok to scream,kick,throw a fit. I also tell them what will happen if they do it again.
I've only had one kid ever do it twice and he was put on his cot to rest because that behavior tells me he must be tired and he watched all his friends play while he "rested" with books.
He got it together quickly!Comment
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Had the same conversation with a 4yo dcg today about not bringing in toys/crying when I take them away at drop off. I don't feel bad in the least.
I think the reason she stopped crying (was able to calm quickly) is that it was a show for Dad and not real tears.Comment
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The attitude of my preschoolers upon entrance each morning dictates what activities they are or aren't allowed to do.
The kids WANT to come in happy so that they can do "big kid" stuff .
Makes a HUGE difference in my day, and I'm sure it impacts the overall mood of the environment.Comment
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I agree; I ask my kids if they want to be a leader and role model which means they get special privileges....consequences for their actions in the process.....something my mentor introduced to me from her program...it is a good thing to share with parents as well....when a parent is asked if they want their kids to be a leader/role model, they begin to notice the other children and sometimes this can be a positive thing for the parent as well.The attitude of my preschoolers upon entrance each morning dictates what activities they are or aren't allowed to do.
The kids WANT to come in happy so that they can do "big kid" stuff .
Makes a HUGE difference in my day, and I'm sure it impacts the overall mood of the environment.
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The attitude of my preschoolers upon entrance each morning dictates what activities they are or aren't allowed to do.
The kids WANT to come in happy so that they can do "big kid" stuff .
Makes a HUGE difference in my day, and I'm sure it impacts the overall mood of the environment.
Exactly. But if I were the OP I would NOT feel bad for addressing the behavior this morning.Comment
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I love you guys. I'm always second guessing my gut feelings and trying to be the nice guy. I guess it comes from years of teaching when I pretty much HAD to let the parents and kids walk on me. I really like your idea blackcat. It would probably help my own 3 year old keep herself in line too. Most days, my 1yo would be the only one who would get to do the "big kid" activity with how it's been going lately.
man, those 3 year olds really get me sometimes. My least favorite age.
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I wouldn't make expectations for behaviour unless I also had a consequence in mind. It can undermine your authority/credibility with her. For example, you've told her that you expect her to come in tomorrow with a happy face and a quiet voice. What if she comes in screaming? What will you do? What will the consequence be? If you do nothing, then she may come to think that when you give expectations they are nothing but words, words which can be ignored.
I think that it's better to ignore a (non-harmful) behaviour than to "lay down the law" and not have a consequence in if your "law" is ignored.Comment
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I have done something similar with a dcg , she is 4 . Her issue is at pick ups though . I do tell her each day there will be no screaming when so and so comes to pick her up . If she screams then she does not get a sticker.
it took a few times but now she knows I mean what I say .Comment
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Really? Awesome.The attitude of my preschoolers upon entrance each morning dictates what activities they are or aren't allowed to do.
The kids WANT to come in happy so that they can do "big kid" stuff .
Makes a HUGE difference in my day, and I'm sure it impacts the overall mood of the environment.
So when they've come in wailing like a walrus and ask to do paint later, what do you say? "Sorry, you had some trouble coming in this morning, maybe next time"?Comment
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Yeppers...."Sorry, hun but painting with tempura paints is for the big kids. You can paint with water colors if you'd like."
The way I do it, allows for everyone to get the same opportunities but with different levels of "big-ness" kwim?
Everyone gets art time but not everyone gets to use tempura paint.
Everyone gets to play Legos but not everyone gets to use the little Lego sets.
Everyone gets to go outside but only the big kids get to go into an area of the yard that has the fun "big kid" toys.
Etc etc. etc...Comment
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I think it's good to make your expectations known. Kids aren't born knowing how to be behave, and if we don't tell them, how will they know? She probably doesnt see anything wrong with her behavior.
I also think it's okay to add consequences down the road if the boundaries are not being respected.Comment
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