Need to set dcm straight or I'm getting walked on too

[Josiegirl]

Dcm's hours can go past 5 some nights, due to meetings etc. Dcd just took on a new job and works till 6:00. Before he accepted the job, dcm asked me if I could keep the kids on the occasional days when she's got a meeting. I said, 'as long as I know ahead of time and have nothing going on'. Plus she wanted to know how much I'd charge her, which I still haven't told her cause I'm just not good with the business side of it.
So anyways, 1st day she tells me it's going to be a late night. No problem I said. Second and 3rd days no warning, no apologies and it was 3x in 1 week. That is NOT occasionally.
I am a wishy-washy person, avoid confrontations at all costs and hate that about myself.
Could someone please help me write down what I need to say to her? I need to sound professional yet friendly. I've let her do these kinds of things for 4 yrs. so know it's all my fault. But I need to change that NOW. I close at 5:00 and do not want my normal closing time to be 5:30-6:00, occasional fine but not normal. They have 2 kids that come here in the summer, but only 1 during the school year. I also don't know how much to charge when she comes later. I charge 21 for a full day.

Thanks! I'm so pathetic with the business side of this job.

[nannyde]

Don't ever do occasionally. As you see it becomes you are occasionally off on time.

I would do five dollars every fifteen minutes per kid.

[Play Care]

Dcm's hours can go past 5 some nights, due to meetings etc. Dcd just took on a new job and works till 6:00. Before he accepted the job, dcm asked me if I could keep the kids on the occasional days when she's got a meeting. I said, 'as long as I know ahead of time and have nothing going on'. Plus she wanted to know how much I'd charge her, which I still haven't told her cause I'm just not good with the business side of it.
So anyways, 1st day she tells me it's going to be a late night. No problem I said. Second and 3rd days no warning, no apologies and it was 3x in 1 week. That is NOT occasionally.
I am a wishy-washy person, avoid confrontations at all costs and hate that about myself.
Could someone please help me write down what I need to say to her? I need to sound professional yet friendly. I've let her do these kinds of things for 4 yrs. so know it's all my fault. But I need to change that NOW. I close at 5:00 and do not want my normal closing time to be 5:30-6:00, occasional fine but not normal. They have 2 kids that come here in the summer, but only 1 during the school year. I also don't know how much to charge when she comes later. I charge 21 for a full day.

Thanks! I'm so pathetic with the business side of this job.

You are not pathetic! It IS difficult to have these conversations, because everytime you do there is a risk you will lose clients. That said, you do need to talk to her. "DCM, when you asked about later hours, I made it clear that I would only be able to keep them late on occasion and with notice as I have evening commitments. I need you to ask at least 24 hours in advance or I will no longer be able to accommodate any late pick ups. Also the charge will be an additional $12 per half hour of care." so if they are not picked up until 6:00 and you close at 5, that's $24 in addition to the regular tuition. Or if you don't want late pick ups at all "dcm, when you asked about later pick ups I made it clear I could only accommodate them if I didn't have other commitments. I do have several evening activities and will no longer be able to accommodate any late pick ups. I completely understand if this means you have to look for care elsewhere."

Good luck!!

[CraftyMom]

I would also make sure you tell her what your idea of occasional is, since she has a completely different idea. For me occasional would be no more than twice a month and ASK me at least by the week before if it's ok. Not show up that day and assume you don't have plans after your normal closing time.

[Unregistered]

Don't ever do occasionally. As you see it becomes you are occasionally off on time.

I would do five dollars every fifteen minutes per kid.

Yes, unfortunately this is now true. I am living proof. And they may walk, even if you only say no occasionally. They will get ticked off that you are not "meeting their needs".
No matter that those needs were not part of the service that you provide and presented to them BEFORE they enrolled.
My family was here for five years. Supposedly they were happy here. They enrolled one child here, and then their second child.
Then they wanted more. I gave them more when I could. Then they started showing up early/late when I had told them NO. Of course THEY were indignant that I was not able to accommodate that.
Then they asked for MORE, more often. And more often. And repeatedly, even though I had already said NO for those specific times, they would add them to their "list" of MORE.
Finally, I started recording what I had said NO to, and reminded them not to "re-ask" if I had already said no. That was the beginning of the anger.
They terminated. They did not give me an end date. But made it clear that THEY terminated and quoted the date of their "notice". So I gave them an end date based on the criteria they had used.
And then they got MORE angry. Wanted me to change another child's birthday party to accommodate their last day. Wanted me to change their term date to a later date. Did not want to pay for their notice period. On and on and on. And on.
I was glad that I set their term date when I did. I had instant-term letters on my shelf, ready to hand at any date, in case it got uglier.
Ended up by her standing outside MY door, handing out nasty notes to each of my parents, and encouraging them to join them at their new daycare. (The new "daycare" is a story unto itself, but I won't go into that here.)
My other families were not even tempted Only one asked me about the note, and I gave a "confidentiality" answer, which was very little info. They were fine with that. One other family brought the note to me so that I would know about it. And I intercepted the others. They have no right to do that on MY property.
Now they are gone. MY hours are my hours. The hours I have had for many years. The hours that each family agrees to.
And my pick-up and drop-off times are peaceful again (they were a zoo).
And life is good.

THIS is my real-life story of how it happens. I am a very experienced provider and I did not see this coming until we were too far in. I have always done "extras" for some of my families, but have always made it clear that there is a limit to this. I have clear boundaries, but this one ...
They are one of "those" families. And so is yours, in my opinion. They are proving it to you right now by crossing the boundary RIGHT AWAY. As soon as THEIR needs change, they expect YOU to take care of THEIR problem.

And financially, here is the deal: Plan that they WILL leave.
They will leave either because you can't meet their needs, which have changed. This can be a pleasant and normal experience. Or they will leave angry and vengeful.
If you approach it from that point of view, you may find it easier to set the limit. Plan that they WILL leave. And just do what YOU need to do for YOUR self and YOUR family.

[debbiedoeszip]

I'm basing my suggestions on the fact that minimum wage in my province is currently $11/hr. For one child, I would charge $11/hour. For two children (her sitch), I'd charge $15/hr. And for 3+ children, I'd charge $20/hr.

I'd place a one hour minimum charge, though. So if she gets there 30-45 min. after the end of your regular hours, then she still pays for the full hour ($15). After the first hour, then the hourly fee can be prorated.

[itlw8]

You say I am sorry this is not working for me. Occasionally for me is 1 or 2x a month. IF I say yes. If you ask the cost is $10 a half hour per child, if not it is the normal late fee of $1 a minute AND it will increase if you abuse it.

I do not want to work until 5:30 6


When it hits their pocket book they figure out a solution