I Have a Confession...

[hope]

My neighbor told me how when her special snowflake was in daycare at the age of 3 and 4 that he would only nap for a half hour and the center wanted him to lay quiet for the reminder of nap time reading books. She thought this was horrible! So she called a meeting and demanded that he be allowed to get up and play. They agreed as long as he was quiet. Well special snowflake was lonely playing by himself while everyone else was sleeping so they called another meeting with the center. This time they demanded that they pay someone, a teacher, to play with snowflake while everyone else was napping. The center agreed to send him to another room that wasn't having naps at that time. Funny thing is, snowflake went to bed at 7 pm and slept till 9am everyday. No wonder her didn't nap!!!!

[MarinaVanessa]

The parent who has been told the kid had a shortened nap has nothing to say but that the kid went to bed better or earlier. If they say they didn't you stop doing short nap.

So they accept your words and then a few weeks later they tell you they are now having problems again and want no nap or done with nap by noon or one.

The kid doesn't go to bed earlier or easier when the parent has been told this. The parent is just easing the provider into what they REALLY want which is no nap.

Be prepared for a nap time drop in to see if the kid is.up. once the parent hits you with no nap then all they have to do is ask the kid. Now that the request is coming for toddlers and babies, if they can't ask the kid they will come early unannounced to see if the kid is up.

They will not buy that you just laid them.down. they will start putting actual limits to how late they want them to sleep and then come by and check or call and ask to talk to the kid.

Yep, that's why I have a strict Rest Time policy. All kids must lay down, if they don't sleep I don't force them but they must be quiet for the others that to sleep. I also won't force a child to stay awake. So far I have only had one child (5 years) not fall asleep within the first 5-10 minutes. I don't answer the phone or the door during nap time and all parents are well aware. I'll allow pick ups during extreme situations but if it becomes a habit then I'd term.

Rest Time
All children in attendance are required to participate in afternoon rest time. ALL children are required to rest quietly during this time period.

Rest time is non-negotiable so please do not request that your child not participate. If you choose to have your child not participate in rest time then your child should not be present during this time. At no time will a child be forced to sleep during this time just as no child will be forced to stay awake. All children will be laid down to be given the opportunity to rest and if a child is not asleep within 15 minutes then that child can participate in quiet activities such as reading until the other children wake.

Although I have an open-door policy that dictates that no parent can be denied access to their child, please do not drop-off or pick-up your child during this time as this is often disruptive and wakes the children. Please schedule all transitions before or after rest time. Continued disregard for this request may result in the review of the contracted schedule and possible termination.

Please note also that I turn my phone ringer off and do not answer the door during this time to ensure that the children are not woken. Phone calls and texts received during this time will be returned after rest time.

Once I had a dcm be really insistent that the child not nap and I gave her choices
1 child participates in rest time like the other kids
2 pick their child up if the child disrupts the rest of nap time or the rest of the day from being too tired

She chose option 2. I still laid her child down and her child still slept and dcm never brought it up again. She just thought her child wasn't napping. Definetely the placebo effect.

[My3cents]

I am curious why you would agree to wake a child after 30 minutes each day?

bingo! No way- She is 3! Plays hard and needs sleep not to mention the mind is going a mile a minute and learning so much- it needs rest.

I asked the same question as Cheer~

[christine19720]

I always blame naps on licensing. We are not to sleep deprive any child for a parent or provider's personal gain or agenda.

[My3cents]

She's not even supposed to nap, but if she did fall asleep, to only allow 30 min. I was just getting out of before and after school care only and they were the first family that signed on. I didn't know at the time, how valuable nap time is to a providers sanity. Upon her starting doing full days and joining this forum, I discovered that I should have had a mandatory nap time, but, I was new and inexperienced and now it is too late. I do try to enforce "quiet time" for the ones who don't nap and the mom is on board with this. I do regret it, but what can you do? This family is a HUGE chunk of income for me so it is what it is until she is gone (at least a year). Luckily, I do have all of the younger ones on a scheduled nap routine, so eventually all of my kids will be napping while here. I just have to wait for that day to come.

no no no.......

you tell the parent the honest truth- Little kiddo needs sleep. You make a policy of what your nap routine is. Its not too late. You have learned that the child needs sleep and you are not a non napping daycare. All kids in my care are required to have a rest time. If they fall asleep they are tired and need that rest. You are making it easy for Parents to not have to spend time with their kiddos. You are new and your learning and we have all been there with one issue or another. but its not too late. Read the boards and you will learn so much that will help you.

I wish you the best-

[My3cents]

Mom doesn't need to know how long she naps or even if she naps. If asked I would say yes she fell asleep. If asked how long she slept I would vaguely say something like. I thought you only wanted her to nap 30 minutes max. That's not saying she only slept 30 min but that is what mom wants. Sometimes if parents think you are doing what they want everything is fine.

I don't agree with this..... If a parent ask how long the child slept I think honesty is prob the best. I think telling a parent why a child needs sleep is the way to go. I also think telling a parent its your time to get things done, and take a break yourself is ok. Long hours with hardly any breaks is not reasonable to expect. If she wants specialized care and not group care I agree she should hire a Nanny. Its a lot of work to find a good quality daycare for a parent and being honest and up front on your policies and how you do things is having good communication with parent. This is their child. Its ok if they don't want the child to take a rest, but if you require a rest period then your place is not the right place for them. Group care verses Nanny or one on one care-

[Butter Biskets]

Aaaannnddd guess who fell asleep again today? Lol.

[mountainside13]

A lot of parents think that if they don't nap they will go to sleep earlier and easier. It's the complete opposite. Once a child reaches the point of being over tired, they are harder to get to sleep and stay up later.

[Butter Biskets]

Well, the mom flat out asked if her daughter slept today and specifically for how long. Again I said about half hour or so. I couldn't be certain because when I checked on her, she was awake and not too long after, I checked again and she was out for the count. Poor thing was so tired that even two babies were up and crawling all around her, being loud and she didn't budge. I just hope she goes to sleep well for her mom, otherwise all possibilities of naps will be out of the question. btw, this mom is a controlling and intimidating mom, so it is hard to be tough as previously suggested on here. I know, no backbone quite yet.

[TwinKristi]

Awww mean mommy!! I will admit I'm guilty of skipping nap for an early bedtime BUT I'm the one who's with him all day!! LOL

[Naptime yet?]

Kelly, I also am a softie, but just keep in mind, this DCM is NOT your boss. If she wants to dictate her child's day while in your care then she can quit her job & raise her child herself.

Parents are more exhausting than their kids!

[MissAnn]

Kelly, I also am a softie, but just keep in mind, this DCM is NOT your boss. If she wants to dictate her child's day while in your care then she can quit her job & raise her child herself.

Parents are more exhausting than their kids!

Amen! She needs a babysitter or nanny.

[Chellieleanne]

My 3yo dcb will sleep anywhere from an hour to 3.5 hours depending on the day. With my own kids I realized they actually sleep better at night if they have a nap during the day. I know dcb doesn't get much sleep at home so I encourage it here. He goes to bed around 9 and is up by 6 or earlier. My two have been fighting naps so it has turned into "stay in your bed for one hour and I will get you" and they fall asleep within 10 minutes.

No way would I wake a sleeping child. Even if it is pickup time, I let mom do the waking! I learned that when my oldest was born. Unless it is an emergency I refuse to wake a child. If they are sleeping then they need it!!!!!

[My3cents]

Aaaannnddd guess who fell asleep again today? Lol.

she needs sleep.

Sleep will create sleep. Sleep deprived will create a little monster. A couple of hours in the afternoon is not too much sleep, the child should still go to bed for the parent. Problem is that parent doesn't want to deal with routine, fussy child, etc...

your backbone is already growing, stand firm- you will be respected more for it, esp when you explain to a parent why sleep is important and why you do things and why they are not negotiable. You are group care, not a nanny/babysitter- big difference. Even if that child is the only child that you have, you are setting a presidency of kids to come in and how you do things.

I would be honest with parent- you don't want to get into a habit of not being anything but honest-

Good piece of advice for you that was given to me by someone here, she can only intimidate you if you let her be strong and make it known that this is your business and how you do things.

I wish you the best-

[MissAnn]

she needs sleep.

Sleep will create sleep. Sleep deprived will create a little monster. A couple of hours in the afternoon is not too much sleep, the child should still go to bed for the parent. Problem is that parent doesn't want to deal with routine, fussy child, etc...

your backbone is already growing, stand firm- you will be respected more for it, esp when you explain to a parent why sleep is important and why you do things and why they are not negotiable. You are group care, not a nanny/babysitter- big difference. Even if that child is the only child that you have, you are setting a presidency of kids to come in and how you do things.

I would be honest with parent- you don't want to get into a habit of not being anything but honest-

Good piece of advice for you that was given to me by someone here, she can only intimidate you if you let her be strong and make it known that this is your business and how you do things.

I wish you the best-

👍👍👍
If she doesn't like your policies, she is the one that needs to decide if the napping is a deal breaker. If so, she needs to find another provider. My guess it won't be a deal breaker. Of we let parents bulldoze us.....our programs will become parent run. Remember, we teach people how to treat us.