My Horns Come Out At Meal Times

[NightOwl]

I have a 2 yr old who eats NOTHING unless it's processed foods. I just made her eat a carrot (the other kids are killing the carrots so I know they're good) and she literally just puked at the table. Crying hysterically because I made her eat a single carrot.... another 2 yr is the same way. They would rather go hungry and then try to gorge themselves at snack time or drink milk as often as I'll allow it.
It is soooo frustrating. I understand a lot of you do the 2 bite rule or something similar, but what do you do when the very first bite gets you a screaming toddler and a table full of puke?
Oh and it's not the carrots. It's ANYTHING edible, unless it's sweet or snackish.

[NeedaVaca]

I never make a child eat something or do a 2 bite thing. I set it in front of them and they eat or they don't. It can cause a lot of problems down the road if they are forced to eat something...

[NightOwl]

Let me clarify that, I said Gwen, eat a carrot. She starts crying. I say, you need to eat SOMETHING Gwen. Eat a carrot. Then she puts it in her mouth and starts gagging immediately. So it's not like I put it in her mouth and forced her to chew. That's not what I meant. Sorry, I didn't make that clear at first.

[Unregistered]

I have a child here like that and when he's here I make sure we have nothing but fruits and protein,vegetables for meal and snack.Very little carbs or milk.Yesterday he was here and we had homemade muffins,raspberries and milk for breakfast but I only gave him 1/4 muffin,2 oz. of milk and a lot of berries.Turkey,cheese wrap,carrots,apple slices,pretzels and milk.I gave him 1/4 sandwich,1 pretzel and loaded up carrots and apples.Same with snack-pepper slices,string chese. A year ago he would have ate nothing all day,not a thing. I also make hi stay seated for a half hour.It's amazing how much they eat when they realize they are not getting up so they might as well eat!

[NeedaVaca]

Let me clarify that, I said Gwen, eat a carrot. She starts crying. I say, you need to eat SOMETHING Gwen. Eat a carrot. Then she puts it in her mouth and starts gagging immediately. So it's not like I put it in her mouth and forced her to chew. That's not what I meant. Sorry, I didn't make that clear at first.

I understood that, I didn't think you physically put the carrot in her mouth I still think it's wrong to make a child eat something IMO.

[AmyKidsCo]

I wouldn't make an issue of it. Serve the food, and as much as it may kill you, DON'T say a word about what she is or isn't eating. Don't even let her catch you watching her. The bigger deal you make of it the more control she has and the more she'll do whatever it takes to keep that control.

Keep continuing to serve your normal foods but maybe give her less so you're wasting less. For milk, serve the CACFP required amount then water the rest of the day. If she's loading up on snack foods I'd serve the same sorts of things for snack as I do at lunch for a while.

If you take away the fun of a power struggle and let her be in charge of what she eats she'll be more likely to try something, especially when she sees the other children eating it. And if she doesn't, don't let it bug you. It's your job to offer healthy foods. It's her job to decide what and how much to eat. Her decision isn't a reflection on you at all, it's a reflection on her.

[mountainside13]

Man! I have a 5 yo back for the summer. He will mainly only eat junk food so he won't eat (to get full) until he gets home. Today we had Fet Alfredo with side of broccoli and a banana. He did eat the Alfredo! I put some melted cheese on the broccoli for him to see if he would at least try a bite and it worked! He had 7 more pieces! This was a huge success for him! Many try a dip for her? IMO even if the dip isn't super healthy it's better than nothing. Once she starts eating it with the dip really well then switch it to something healthier.

[CedarCreek]

I had the same kid last year. She wouldn't eat a thing that wasn't a nugget or mac n' cheese.

Same thing happened to me. I said, "D, try a bite of your veggies before you decide you dont like them" She put some in her mouth and threw up on my table.

Since then, I just left it alone if they didn't eat something. I didn't want to clean up throw up all of the time.

[NightOwl]

I wouldn't make an issue of it. Serve the food, and as much as it may kill you, DON'T say a word about what she is or isn't eating. Don't even let her catch you watching her. The bigger deal you make of it the more control she has and the more she'll do whatever it takes to keep that control.

Keep continuing to serve your normal foods but maybe give her less so you're wasting less. For milk, serve the CACFP required amount then water the rest of the day. If she's loading up on snack foods I'd serve the same sorts of things for snack as I do at lunch for a while.

If you take away the fun of a power struggle and let her be in charge of what she eats she'll be more likely to try something, especially when she sees the other children eating it. And if she doesn't, don't let it bug you. It's your job to offer healthy foods. It's her job to decide what and how much to eat. Her decision isn't a reflection on you at all, it's a reflection on her.

[NightOwl]

I was just straightening the kitchen. My dd left the box of pop tarts out this morning, but they were stuck behind some other things. So I put everything away. When she saw the pop tart box in my hands, she started jumping up and down and doing the "give me one" motion with her hands. Sigh..... She's hungry! She HAS to be! But I'm NOT giving her a friggin pop tart after she puked over a carrot. Anything I offer that is not a processed food, she refuses.

[Blackcat31]

I wouldn't make an issue of it. Serve the food, and as much as it may kill you, DON'T say a word about what she is or isn't eating. Don't even let her catch you watching her. The bigger deal you make of it the more control she has and the more she'll do whatever it takes to keep that control.

Keep continuing to serve your normal foods but maybe give her less so you're wasting less. For milk, serve the CACFP required amount then water the rest of the day. If she's loading up on snack foods I'd serve the same sorts of things for snack as I do at lunch for a while.

If you take away the fun of a power struggle and let her be in charge of what she eats she'll be more likely to try something, especially when she sees the other children eating it. And if she doesn't, don't let it bug you. It's your job to offer healthy foods. It's her job to decide what and how much to eat. Her decision isn't a reflection on you at all, it's a reflection on her.

This is exactly how I do meals.


Wednesday, are meals/routines and your general philosophy about food and healthy eating something you discuss during interviews with parents?

I ask because it sure seems like there are alot of posts on the board about junk foods and getting kids to eat healthy.

I understand completely how that can be normal but it seems to me that it would be beneficial for the parents, the child and the provider if this topic was discussed in detail before enrollment.

If I had a family that wanted to enroll but they didn't care about healthy eating and told me their child only ate processed foods, I would pass on them and tell them they I am not a good fit for them.

It's not really something the parents could lie about because the provider would know within a day or two what things the child really was used to eating. kwim?

Once I made healthy eating a topic of discussion and a major point in my program, I stopped having any type of eating issues.

So just curious how you handle the food part of this before it's an issue.

[NightOwl]

It is discussed during interviews and
most parents say that is one of the selling point for choosing me. They want their child to have healthy meals. But now I'm beginning to think what they actually mean is, we want YOU to give our child healthy meals because lord knows WE don't.

[Meeko]

Serve her a small portion. Don't even blink an eye if she doesn't touch it. After the meal, clear up without a comment. She waits for the next meal or snack. Rinse/repeat.

If she never eats a morsel at your house, don't sweat it. You have offered it. That's all you need to do. The rest is up to her and her parents.

[Blackcat31]

It is discussed during interviews and
most parents say that is one of the selling point for choosing me. They want their child to have healthy meals. But now I'm beginning to think what they actually mean is, we want YOU to give our child healthy meals because lord knows WE don't.

I assume most parents know and expect family child care providers to serve healthy foods and not junk.

I mean discussing with a parent exactly how you handle meal routines and what things you will or won't do.

What Meeko said below is something I would say to a parent.
I want the parent to know I am not doing certain things and most of all I want them to know I am serving what I serve and that is that.

I am not making special meals, making exceptions and most of all NOT stressing if their child doesn't eat. I'll be sure to let them know but I am not going to stress about it. That is their job.

I absolutely encourage kids to try fun new recipes and ideas but only in the same manner I encourage them to learn to catch a ball or make a lowercase "d"..kwim?

I also make sure parents know that if their kid starts making meal time unpleasant for anyone else either through actions (crying or fussing) or by saying "I hate xx" etc, then they won't be enrolled in my care long.

I feel very strongly about my meal routines and how I manage them so that I don't have to stress about food and healthy eating but most of all so that kids don't have to.

Serve her a small portion. Don't even blink an eye if she doesn't touch it. After the meal, clear up without a comment. She waits for the next meal or snack. Rinse/repeat.

If she never eats a morsel at your house, don't sweat it. You have offered it. That's all you need to do. The rest is up to her and her parents.

[NightOwl]

I assume most parents know and expect family child care providers to serve healthy foods and not junk.

I mean discussing with a parent exactly how you handle meal routines and what things you will or won't do.

What Meeko said below is something I would say to a parent.
I want the parent to know I am not doing certain things and most of all I want them to know I am serving what I serve and that is that.

I am not making special meals, making exceptions and most of all NOT stressing if their child doesn't eat. I'll be sure to let them know but I am not going to stress about it. That is their job.

I absolutely encourage kids to try fun new recipes and ideas but only in the same manner I encourage them to learn to catch a ball or make a lowercase "d"..kwim?

I also make sure parents know that if their kid starts making meal time unpleasant for anyone else either through actions (crying or fussing) or by saying "I hate xx" etc, then they won't be enrolled in my care long.

I feel very strongly about my meal routines and how I manage them so that I don't have to stress about food and healthy eating but most of all so that kids don't have to.

Agreed. But here's a question. What do you do when the child doesn't eat lunch (which is daily) and at snack time, asks for seconds, thirds, etc?

She picks at breakfast (only the carbs), no lunch at all, then scarfs down as much snack as I'll give her (also only carbs). She never touches the fruit served, either. So every.single.day she is only consuming carbs.
So do I allow her to essentially stuff herself at snack time? I'm not sure where to cut her off. I don't want her to be hungry, but I also don't want her entire intake for one day to be a few nibbles of toast and tons of goldfish, kwim? Or should I stop worrying about it and leave it to the parents?