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Dcg 11m "hit" another dck 17m this morning in the face, but it was more of a "I wanted to touch your face but I did it too hard" kind of thing. Dcm of the hitter was still here and SPANKED 11m dcg. WOW. Just WOW. It was only two swats on the upper leg, but it stung for sure. Is this a common thing? She's just a baby and doesn't understand boundaries yet.
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Oh heck no.
For crying out loud! Ummm.
I have friends who have policies about no spanking on site. I've never had to put that in my policies. -
Me either. I was kind of taken aback. I jumped to dcg's defense, telling mom she didn't realize what she was doing and I didn't think she intended to hurt dcb. I don't think 11m olds have the capacity to maliciously hurt some one. So from her (dcg's) perspective, her mom just slapped her and she didn't understand why.Comment
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Oddly enough, I had the opposite scenario last week.
DCB, 18 months, has been hitting everyone in the face, and has been told "gentle hands" for weeks. He's also been given stern "no, we don't hit". He's also been given alternatives such as patting the arm of the other child (assuming he's misguidedly trying to greet them).
Last Friday, he came in, made a b-line for the 11 month old, and smacked him hard across the face. Dad, who'd been in-the-know all along, picked him up and swatted him on the rear.
I said nothing. While I am not a big "fan" of spanking, and usually especially not in response to hitting, I did sort of think it was appropriate. I didn't say that, either. I just stayed out of it, and will continue to use more positive approaches here.
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There is a big difference in an 11m old and an 18m old tho. In my case, if the tables had been turned, I would have done the same. My 17m dcb sounds exactly like yours and he needs to be "stood up to" by the others. But 11m? This child is so small and has only been walking for a couple of weeks.Comment
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I had a friend who did this to her young child in front of me once. It was shocking! I didn't know what to say but I was younger then. Now I know better and would speak up.Comment
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I think there is a time and place for a swat to the hind side when a little one does something life threatening. For parents of course... not us.
But an eleven month old baby? Wowzer... that's shockingComment
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Good grief. I have an 11 month old. He's a BABY. That makes me sad.Comment
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I would definitely NOT allow spanking at daycare. Put this into effect immediately. There is liability to you in allowing parents to spank on the premises and in your presence.
I would not get into a discussion about the right and wrong of it, just that it is not allowed in your home.Comment
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Yes. I don't have a particular issue with spanking my own kids, though I would have to say that happened extremely rarely, and generally for life threatening situations. However, our regulations say that cannot happen during daycare hours or around the daycare kids.
I agree with the above, just say it is not allowed at your house, and don't get into a discussion of right or wrong.
I did have a family that kept telling me to, "just take off her diaper and spank her." Um no. Regulations or not, no.Comment
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I don't condone spanking of ANY child at ANY age at ANY time. That said, it is a parental "right" in my state to hit their child. I talk in depth at interviews about spanking, and how I see that children who are spanked seem to be motivated sometimes only by whether they will be spanked. I do ask parents to consider using only non-violent forms of discipline and punishment, but I TELL them that I will not allow a child to be hit on my premises. I would put that parent on notice, and let them know if they ever hit a child at my home again, they will be terminated. I especially do not want the other children here to see another child being hit (especially my own child). Hitting kids is an outlet for parental anger and frustration and there is no instance where it is for the good of the child (there is MUCH evidence available about negative long-term effects of spanking). Not at my house-no way. I have had enough kids who live in fear of being hit (foster kids) to see the damage that having someone several times their size attack them causes.Comment
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I think "spanking" has lost it's meaning though the years....I don't condone spanking at daycare of any sort/kind or whatever...BUT as a kid (I am 47) you could count on 1 hand the amount of "whippins" my brothers and I got but it was more of a respect for authority thing. I trusted my parents and they had expectations for me and I was to follow those expectations or reap the consequences. Today, there is entirely too much spattin, hittin, smackin going on. I carried my sons to the dentist yesterday and there was a 4 yr old smacking her mom....I think kids don't even know what they are being smacked around for so they do it too....it wasn't this way in the old days with my parents, they were just consistent with what they told my brothers and I to do and they meant what they said...you don't mind, you reap the consequences....My brother got the worst whippin when he was 8 yrs old for being disrespectful to an elderly gentlemen at church...I remember that to this day and so does my brother....
Disrespect was not tolerated back then! I guess there is a time and place for discipline, but I think regardless of the discipline a parent chooses, consistency is the key component....children need consistency with expectations!
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