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DGG is almost 5 and will come at 7:30 am and stay till 5:30 some days but usually leaves around 4.She would drink a gallon of milk...(she gets one cup in the am here and then after she's eaten her lunch food ).She eats absolutely nothing here if it is not a snack food or one of the few items on her short menu.I serve all the same and if you don't eat it then I will save it for your next food(snack). She will see the others with 'snack' and beg for that over and over I say after you eat lunch.'...............usually she will say before I've even set the lunch on the table she is not going to eat. I say you need to at least sit with your friends.If more pouting and verbal refusals her option is then to go pick up any toys and then go potty and nap right away.She will pick up some, then realize sitting at the table is better than doing all the work herself.I don't even give her full serving because when she does it it is bird bites.Obviously her dietary cravings are being catered too elsewhere.............is there a way I can help her...........I like the no thanks you bites idea and 1-2 eataroo.........do I just keep on? She's a bright very little thing. An only. Yesterday by the end of her day she was so hungry she was getting weepy and more than usual pouty but had refused lunch.
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I had two like this. Both were fed a lot of fast food and yucky stuff outside of dc. I offered sweeter fruits, which seemed to help. I never saved their meal, though. I don't think I can, being on the food plan, but even so, I don't think I would. Each meal and snack is a new opportunity for them to try new things and behave like a big kid, instead of getting stuck on the stuff from the last meal - both the food and behavior. -
I would not 'save' food. You are setting up what could be a lifelong issue with food by creating that battle. Just change your snacks to include only fruits and or veggies with a protein source like yogurt or cheese.
If your snack is apple and cheese, it doesn't matter if she didn't eat lunch, and there are no tears. You can't force her to eat, but you can ONLY offer good choices so if she does eat, it is healthy.
You can try to talk to the "elsewhere" but you will likely be met with denial, or even hostility.Comment
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I agree and as a parent I would be ticked off. I would prefer my child have something even snack foods than nothing. I know most of you won't agree but we don't make food an issue. If you want to eat a pop tart all week that is fine. I personally don't believe in making a child eat a bite or two of something. Just because you serve it doesn't mean the child wants to eat it. As an adult if you put certain foods in front of me I would not eat them either...even if I had never had them before. Some foods just look or smell gross let alone having to eat them. You are not going to change her.Comment
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I was met with extreme hostility over asking that a parent encourage their child to eat better (as she wasn't eating anything here). This was over 18 months ago. Still, to this day, this parent is irritated at me and will sit next to me at community events/Church events and pretend I don't exist.
I would just feed her small servings and if she shows an interest in something then serve her more, within reason.Comment
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I would not save food. Infact we are not allowed to on the food program. Children must all be offered the same food at the same time.
Look at each meal/snack as a new opportunity for her. If she refuses....take her plate without a comment. You have done your part.
I get the feeling she probably loves the drama at meal times. She's getting special attention when you give her lunch instead of snack like all the other kids. The drama gets extended from lunch into snack time. She wants be begged and coerced into eating.
Offer food. Once. Don't blink if she refuses. Then talk to the other kids. Praise them for their healthy choices and talk about how yummy it is. Ignore her whining.
If she whines before meals, ignore it. Don't get caught up in her drama. A dramafest is boring if she's the only one attending.
I have kids who will say "I don't want to eat" when I tell them it's time for lunch. I say "Are you sure?" When they say yes, I say OK. According to the food program, I have offered food. I still get paid. I don't worry about it any further.Comment
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I don't ask kids to do thank you bites or anything similar.
I serve, they eat or don't.
I don't save lunch and re-serve it but I do try to avoid serving crackers and breads during snacks as a lot of kids can and will just hold out for those snacks and never eat anything else all day.
Instead I offer proteins and/or fresh veggies for snacks.
I also try an offer dips made from yogurt or peanut butter to make the fresh veggies more appealing and fun to eat.
Boiled eggs, cottage cheese, cheese and fruit kabobs, sliced salami or turkey are also healthy options for snacks.
I offer milk and water at meals and snacks too.
ALL meals and snacks are relaxed and laid back. No pressure.Comment
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I also have a very picky eater and after getting over the initial frustration of her not eating, I just let it go. She either eats or not I don't stress it. It's much better for everyone. With the added bonus that in the last couple of years she has gone from eating NO fruits or veggies to eating a select few.
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Ditto all the pp's
My oldest was a very picky eater, and we did not do tons of fast-food.
I'd make some headway by making it a non-issue ("you want ketchup on your brocoli? Sure, why not?"), then someone else; grandma, an aunt, a visiting adult of some sort, would be compelled to say something. and we'd loose ground yet again.
He's 24 now, and still has quirks with food, but he's tried all sorts of "weird" things in the last few years. He knows what he likes and doesn't like, just like the rest of us.
I would continue to ask her to sit at the table with you all, though. "We like your company, whether you eat or not. It's time for us all to sit together and visit".Comment
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Letting a child eat pop tarts all week DOES make food an issue, IMO. The child knows that by refusing healthy foods, they can get junk food. A child who is offered only healthy options WILL eat those healthy options. This is coming from an adult whose parents let me eat whatever I wanted growing up. As an adult, I wish that they would have only offered me healthy foods. I won't eat chicken, fish, or pork. I eat almost no fruits. I pretty much live on beans and vegetables and occasionally beef. I envy people who snack on fruits, can go to a dinner party and eat anything there. I just never learned to like the stuff because my parents gave in to me every time. I have actually tried hypnosis to try to force myself to like those foods, but I am too resistant.
My parents were GOOD parents, I'm not angry with them, but I do wish they had not catered to me my whole life, because it wasn't fun to have to face reality as an adult.Comment
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Exactly! As providers we are in a sticky situation. We want to serve healthy meals and to get kids on board with eating them. We can't control what parents allow their children to eat at home. We can't compete with a chicken nugget if we choose not to serve them in our programs. I am torn myself. I've posted about eating issues over and over. We can't "fix" a kid who is picky unless parents are on board. Most of my parents are happy that they "at least" have healthy food here. It makes them feel like they are "off the hook" to serve and encourage healthy food at home. It doesn't work that way.....the kids who turn their eating habits around are the ones whose parents ask (or look at my posted menu) and serve those foods at home.....or the parents who at least start serving healthier meals. The parents who continue to cater to what the kid wants to eat.....or make separate meals for each kid......are the ones who I never can change. The ones I end up posting about here!
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I had one that just wanted to drink & not eat all day too. I just give milk at meals & snacks now & water in between. If a kiddo doesn't eat that's ok. No pressure, but neither will you get something else. Hunger is a natural consequence. If she realizes she won't get any milk to tide her over & no special snack she "should" eat better eventually. I agree with others about offering everyone the same healthy snack.Comment
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I have started trying to educate parents on nutrition by sending home occasional hand outs and even recipes for kid-friendly, healthy meals. The parents get excited about them (most of them), but only one has told me that they actually have implemented changes at home (I don't ask whether they do).Exactly! As providers we are in a sticky situation. We want to serve healthy meals and to get kids on board with eating them. We can't control what parents allow their children to eat at home. We can't compete with a chicken nugget if we choose not to serve them in our programs. I am torn myself. I've posted about eating issues over and over. We can't "fix" a kid who is picky unless parents are on board. Most of my parents are happy that they "at least" have healthy food here. It makes them feel like they are "off the hook" to serve and encourage healthy food at home. It doesn't work that way.....the kids who turn their eating habits around are the ones whose parents ask (or look at my posted menu) and serve those foods at home.....or the parents who at least start serving healthier meals. The parents who continue to cater to what the kid wants to eat.....or make separate meals for each kid......are the ones who I never can change. The ones I end up posting about here!Comment
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Although I agree with not making food an issue I lean towards more the idea of not saving uneaten meals to be served later. If I serve breakfast and a child does not eat I don't save the food and serve it at snack, the child eats whatever snack I serve the other DCK's at snack time and so forth. I provide the food, the kids decide if they want to eat it or not. I don't force the child to eat it and (IMPO) I would consider serving the food that was refused before instead of what was being served to the rest of the group a lot like trying to force. There's no choice there, it's "eat this or don't eat but I'm not giving you what I'm serving the other kids because you didn't eat this earlier".
What I don't agree with is serving the child whatever he/she wants (referring specifically to the quote above). Allowing a child to eat Pop Tarts all week is like not serving anything at all. There is no nutritional value there whatsoever and in fact you could be creating eating issues thi way as well. "Hmm let's see. Mom wants me to eat chicken, peas and carrots but if I say I don't want to eat it she'll give me a pop-tart instead" ... what do you think will happen? What choice do you think any child would make in this situation?
I would offer healthy meals and if the child doesn't eat then she doesn't eat. Try again at snack, again at lunch etc. Don't force it, let her make that choice. "Okay Suzie, you're not hungry. Sit until our friends are done." If you don't allow play during mealtimes then don't let her play and if she's disruptful at the table I would remove her and have her sit nearby but away from the group. If this is a regular problem and she is disruptful on regular basis be proactive and maybe have her sit in a high chair "Suzie you're going to sit here in the highchair because you get up during lunch." then try again later at the table "Suzie do you want to sit at the table today? I need you to stay in your seat.." etc. Remove her if she disrupts etc. Wash and repeat.
If she is not thin and frail I'd assume that she is getting at least something in her belly at home so I would just let DCP's know at pick up how much she ate or didn't eat and leave it at that.
Kids have absolute control over only 2 things .. eating and toileting. I don't make an issue with either of these 2 things because it can create long-term issues. Never punish with or over food or toileting.Comment
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