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Ok, so I posted previously about the family in my care who struggles greatly with independent play. I took a lot of your comments to heart and have been extremely consistent in telling dcb 2.5y.o. to "go play" all day long for 4 weeks now. I am so frustrated with the whole situation. Honestly, I would like to term over this, but DH is very against it and it would create a whole new set of issues for me.
So our day starts out with breakfast and circle time and then free play. The second I tell him to "go play" he starts picking on other kids, dumping totes, climbing on furniture, into everything, etc. I give him one warning and say either find something to play with or I will choose for you. He of course refuses screaming, "Don't want to play!" repeatedly at me. Then I move him to a designated blanket with a few activities I've selected for him since he won't choose for himself. I set a timer and make him sit there for 15 minutes. This is not independent play however, because I have to sit there daring him not to get up the whole time. Every time I turn my attention to another child, he is up and into something. Of course it's never the toys.
Then I move him to time out where he continues to scream "Don't want to play." After many failed attempts to keep him on the blanket or in the play area with other kids, I finally move him to a high chair so that he is at least contained. I put toys on the tray and tell him, "Time to play." Then he alternates screaming, "Don't want time out. Don't want to play repeatedly. I feel that its appropriate to let him sit in the high chair with toys for short spans of time, however mom doesn't even make him sit at the table to eat so of course if I ask him to sit there he thinks he is in time out. He throws the toys off the tray and then cries for them. I refuse to pick them up b/c he is doing it on purpose. I set the timer and when he gets up I again say, "Ok. Time to go play. Choose a toy or activity to play with. And the whole process starts over.
Uggh. It is draining. And the other kids are just as sick of hearing him scream as I am. Do you think its ok to insist he sit in the high chair for 15-30 minutes at a time throughout the day if he refuses to stay out of trouble? I feel like I'm restraining him, but I'm not trying to be mean. Just trying to keep him from hurting himself or someone else and encourage him to entertain himself a bit. However, none of the toys stay on the tray for more than about 2 minutes so he ends up just sitting there and crying. I honestly don't know what else to do. The main room we are in is gated off so he can't go elsewhere in the house and it is pretty well baby proofed as far as not much he could get hurt on, but he totally destroys the room in about 5 minutes.
Do you think I"m being unfair to him, or I should I keep being consistent with the "go play or sit in the chair and play" thing?
So our day starts out with breakfast and circle time and then free play. The second I tell him to "go play" he starts picking on other kids, dumping totes, climbing on furniture, into everything, etc. I give him one warning and say either find something to play with or I will choose for you. He of course refuses screaming, "Don't want to play!" repeatedly at me. Then I move him to a designated blanket with a few activities I've selected for him since he won't choose for himself. I set a timer and make him sit there for 15 minutes. This is not independent play however, because I have to sit there daring him not to get up the whole time. Every time I turn my attention to another child, he is up and into something. Of course it's never the toys.
Then I move him to time out where he continues to scream "Don't want to play." After many failed attempts to keep him on the blanket or in the play area with other kids, I finally move him to a high chair so that he is at least contained. I put toys on the tray and tell him, "Time to play." Then he alternates screaming, "Don't want time out. Don't want to play repeatedly. I feel that its appropriate to let him sit in the high chair with toys for short spans of time, however mom doesn't even make him sit at the table to eat so of course if I ask him to sit there he thinks he is in time out. He throws the toys off the tray and then cries for them. I refuse to pick them up b/c he is doing it on purpose. I set the timer and when he gets up I again say, "Ok. Time to go play. Choose a toy or activity to play with. And the whole process starts over.
Uggh. It is draining. And the other kids are just as sick of hearing him scream as I am. Do you think its ok to insist he sit in the high chair for 15-30 minutes at a time throughout the day if he refuses to stay out of trouble? I feel like I'm restraining him, but I'm not trying to be mean. Just trying to keep him from hurting himself or someone else and encourage him to entertain himself a bit. However, none of the toys stay on the tray for more than about 2 minutes so he ends up just sitting there and crying. I honestly don't know what else to do. The main room we are in is gated off so he can't go elsewhere in the house and it is pretty well baby proofed as far as not much he could get hurt on, but he totally destroys the room in about 5 minutes.
Do you think I"m being unfair to him, or I should I keep being consistent with the "go play or sit in the chair and play" thing?
I have spent A LOT of time modeling play for him. I do sit and play with him quite a bit. It probably sounded like I just want him to entertain himself all day which isn't the case at all. We have a lot of structure to our day with circle time, crafts/coloring, group activities, etc., but we have free play for an hour each morning and each afternoon and those 2 hours of our day are miserable for all. We spend a lot of that time outside, but even then he is trying to climb the fence, tampering with the gates, or picking on other kids. If I put him in the sandbox he throws sand at the kids and gets it in their eyes. Just a really hard case.
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