Parent Asks "What Am I Paying You For"

[CraftyMom]

The getting shots is enough alone for her to not come back.

[nannyde]

One arrival
One departure
Per parent
Per child
Per day

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I used to be "flexible" on all things, and this was one of them. And it wasn't so much as flexible, but more like do whatever they ask me because they pay me. And you know what that leads to? Major burnout! I made lots of changes, found my backbone, and enforce them. NEVER have I regretted doing so.

I tell my DCFs that they shouldn't bring their kids to me after immunizations-not only are they cranky (and, boy, are they ever!), but if they should have a reaction it would obviously be better that they are with mom/dad, not the daycare lady.

Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to fabricate a story about a "daycare friend." Something like:
My friend had this one little guy that was dropped off after his 12mos check-up. He had an acute reaction to his MMR booster, spiked a 104 degree fever, and just as DCM was getting him ready to go home, he had a febrile seizure. I don't ever want that to happen here.

Otherwise, you could go passive/aggressive:
Do not let their child(ren) nap all day, feed them lots of junk, get them all jazzed up before pick-up with a super fun, high energy activity, or anything else to basically ensure they are going to be a total wreck at home. Then, when they pick-up, say, "Sorry, our entire routine was thrown off today by another DCF interrupting/delaying such-and-such time. I hope he/she isn't a pistol all night." Then, a few days later, send out a notice to the offender that looks like it went to all of them stating the policy. I doubt DCM would argue then!::

It's sad to see how incredibly self-absorbed people are becoming, and how their children continually take a backseat to BOTH parents' jobs/work/career and their disgusting "me time." Aye-yie-yie.

[rosieteddy]

Thanks everyone for your insight into this .I do know the mom had not only an earlier appointment and switched it ,but the day off as well. I do have it stated in my contract about before 10:30 and after 3:30. I will add the one drop off one pick-up per day rule under it.That should alleviate any question about the policy.I am very accomadating and do try to work things out with the parents. I sometimes do not collect the late fee ,I do have in my policies-contract that failure to enforce a rule-policy does not negate the contract to cover me. I guess at the end of the day its dissapointing when people you thought care don't. The Mom did not come for pickup or drop-off today and Dad said she was upset.She is keeping the 5 yr old tomorrow as well. It took a lot not to try to justify my policy .I just repeated that I understood she was upset,but I needed to follow the policy.Another daycare family was going to their house tonight.I really hope this doesn't turn bad. Thanks again I really appreciate your input.I am hoping that the weekend will lessen the anger(from her).Though Monday is tuition day and I am closed for vacation starting Thursday 3rd. Aggggh

[Blackcat31]

Thanks everyone for your insight into this .I do know the mom had not only an earlier appointment and switched it ,but the day off as well. I do have it stated in my contract about before 10:30 and after 3:30. I will add the one drop off one pick-up per day rule under it.That should alleviate any question about the policy.I am very accomadating and do try to work things out with the parents. I sometimes do not collect the late fee ,I do have in my policies-contract that failure to enforce a rule-policy does not negate the contract to cover me. I guess at the end of the day its dissapointing when people you thought care don't. The Mom did not come for pickup or drop-off today and Dad said she was upset.She is keeping the 5 yr old tomorrow as well. It took a lot not to try to justify my policy .I just repeated that I understood she was upset,but I needed to follow the policy.Another daycare family was going to their house tonight.I really hope this doesn't turn bad. Thanks again I really appreciate your input.I am hoping that the weekend will lessen the anger(from her).Though Monday is tuition day and I am closed for vacation starting Thursday 3rd. Aggggh

I hope things work out for you.

It is sad when a family is upset but if you look at it factually, this mom is upset because you enforced a rule.

Just like a 2 yr old.

If you give in just to avoid her being upset, then you do work FOR her and since most of us provide services that parent CHOOSE to buy from us, I don't think that fits you.

YOU are a self-employed business woman that deserves respect for what you do and should never have to put up with an adult pouting because you said no to her.

She should really be embarrassed about her behavior not upset.

I hope you get paid as normal and this blows over.

Enjoy your vacation and don't let work get to you.

[NightOwl]

Keep us updated please!

[My3cents]

Maybe I am wrong on this,but my written policy is Dr or other appointments should be made before 10:30 am or after 330 pm.I do not allow children to leave and come back between 11:00-3:30pm. Actually if they leave early they are discouraged from dropping back off. I feel that it is to disruptive to our day. Infants fall asleep in the car throwing off thier and my schedule. Monday a long term client (7 yrs) informe me that she would be picking up her 1 yr o;d at 10:45 am for a 11:00 appointment for shots no less.She wanted to bring her back in the middle for lunch. I did not agree I did let her take the 5 yr old for school screening last month.He did come back and rest,I told her then it was a one time deal,that other parents would want the same .I sent a note that afternoon telling her I would not be able to accomodate her. I explane as per my policy she could not come back that day.She was livid she said she was really angry about the letter. I explained that I understood her anger but felt the policy would be followed.Her reply was :What am I paying you for: Mind you I have had her children overnught (for free_) when this baby came early. Not to mention I never send home for fever just let them pick up at regular time. No care for next day. She dies have the day off to take the oldest to the Denist so no work missed. Just dissapointed I guess.

Who is the boss?

[DaisyMamma]

Sorry to point this out but the problem occurred when you let her do it with the other child. And because you keep giving her "special" for other things too and now she expects it. Don't let it upset you and keep to your policy.

[debbiedoeszip]

I don't place any of those kind of restrictions on the parents. Maybe that was the only appointment time available to take her? Maybe that is what time works best with her work? or dcm needs to use a lunch hour?

I think we have to be flexible, we have schedules that we try to keep but the parents don't answer to themselves, usually they have bosses and schedules also. It is hard for them to miss work as is let alone try and do it during certain times.

I don't either. I remember when my DS was in daycare, even there I could get him during nap or lunch (and though I never did, I don't recall any rule about dropping back off during nap/lunch). Their only rule was that kids needed to be dropped off by 9:30am, but only because a child's daycare group might be out for a walk during that time and so there might not be anyone to receive him if he arrived after 9:30am.

I don't leave the property at all, so there is never a time when I/dckids might not be there. So, I don't have any such rule about when drop-offs need to occur.

[rosieteddy]

Well mom dropped off today.She did not mention Friday.She is defineatly still upset about it.She did hand me a thankyou note for the babies first birthday gift and little party we had last week. I always provide cupcakes and a nice gift for each child on their birthdays. If this had been an emergency appointment and a child needs to leave during nap time I do let parents pick-up ,they call from the driveway and I quietly bring child to door.They just can not bring back to daycare. I am flexible in emergency situations. This appointment was changed fromm 9:00am to 11:00. She still might pull as older child will be off toschool in the fall.

[rosieteddy]

update onwhat do I pay you for

Well checks for next month were due today, Parent gives me the note with check for $166 less than amount due.she came in with older boy in sandals =not allowed.Handed me the baby and said she has no sunblock on. Iasked if he brought his sneakers she laughed and said no. I didn't know about the wrong check until my husband was going to yhe bank. I hope she is not going to be playing games now.

[NightOwl]

Fudge.... Ya know, some things just aren't worth it. Like that sippy cup you find under the couch and there's some sort of colony now living in it? Not worth it. Throw it out and be done.

[Leigh]

Well checks for next month were due today, Parent gives me the note with check for $166 less than amount due.she came in with older boy in sandals =not allowed.Handed me the baby and said she has no sunblock on. Iasked if he brought his sneakers she laughed and said no. I didn't know about the wrong check until my husband was going to yhe bank. I hope she is not going to be playing games now.

I'd text her right now and tell her that she needs to bring you another check for the amount she shorted you. And, if her kids shows up again without proper attire, require her to either bring a spare pair of shoes for the kid's cubby for when she "forgets", or send her back home to get the shoes he needs.

[TheGoodLife]

I'd text her right now and tell her that she needs to bring you another check for the amount she shorted you. And, if her kids shows up again without proper attire, require her to either bring a spare pair of shoes for the kid's cubby for when she "forgets", or send her back home to get the shoes he needs.

Yep, I'd be consistent and not let any of the rules slide- she's trying to play games and "one-up" you on everything. I'd tell her at PU that she needs the $166 and appropriate attire (including sunscreen) tomorrow or they will not be allowed into care. And start advertising if you aren't already

[NeedaVaca]

Well checks for next month were due today, Parent gives me the note with check for $166 less than amount due.she came in with older boy in sandals =not allowed.Handed me the baby and said she has no sunblock on. Iasked if he brought his sneakers she laughed and said no. I didn't know about the wrong check until my husband was going to yhe bank. I hope she is not going to be playing games now.

She wouldn't have been laughing at the missing sneakers had she been turned away at the door. I assume your policies require sunscreen before they come? So,short pay, wrong shoes, no shoes and no sunscreen? That's pretty bad...You are going to have to say something to DCM and set her straight.